Red Fayettenam

It has been a difficult week.  Some watershed financial issues eked into the limelight, and I had to solve them.  My college degree from UNC-Chapel Hill is useful in these situations.  No emotion is involved except possibly anger.  Anger is a potent motivator, and it is what I have been feeling most of this week.  With the separation of of useless emotion in these situations, patience is all that is needed.  You must solve the problem.  You must go through the steps to satisfy the requirements of your task.  Again, patience is required.  You know you will succeed, but you must wait for the amendment.  Patiently we have been waiting through the ninety days of my mother's long term care insurance policy's "Elimination Period."  You must pay out of pocket for these ninety days and prove to the insurance company your claim is not fraudulent.  In many cases a hospital visit and accompanying "Rehab" will suffice for a portion of this three month period.  That was our case, but it seemed like a long haul.  Patiently we are waiting for her first monthly benefit.  She doubts my touted success with her claim, and with her traditional pessimism it has been a dark week not just for me.   I am confident we will see this money, and I need this reimbursement to pay this month's bill.  I have until the tenth.  The other issues at hand were a suspect charge showed up on our credit card statement.  I questioned this online not knowing the charge's source, and First Citizen's froze the card.  I use this card often to pay my mother's bills, so this was a headache.  It also showed me I didn't have a PIN for our bank card.  Scuffle.  Dance.  Shuck and jive.  They like to watch the white boy do the dance at her facility, and I do it often.  I kiss a lot of ass to keep her safe.  This blog entry has a deep inspiration, and it is my first experience with "Big Pharma" and insurance.  Insurance has not been problematic, but getting her med's straightened out still is a challenge.  I am too tired to go into it at the moment.  Why do I feel attacked and like my neighbors see me as a threat?  It is not a comforting feeling.  When you are "on task" and are determined to solve your problems and move forward, the world tries to knock you down.  Flying solo is the lonely situation.  To get what you want and need, you must be an asshole.  I am tiring of it, but you must look out for number one.  You must "plan your work and work your plan."  As for politics I have not been following it much.  There is a lot going on.  Capitalism has been knocked on its ass, and I am not sure if it will survive.  Many don't want it to, and simply they are Communists.  Communism is not American freedom, the one ideal most people in this world desire.  There must be a free market for Capitalism to function.  Our market is not free.  Never has it been, but it has been closer to this ideal than now.  For Capitalism to be successful it takes a tremendous amount of work.  We threw that out the window long ago in favor of cheap foreign labor.  Why not just use slaves?  Now that the two year free market assault called Covid is waning, suddenly and necessarily it becomes apparent how much work Capitalism is.  When I was talking with my mother this afternoon about the workings of her assisted living facility, several points arose.  These things are not isolated to Fayetteville and Cumberland County, but they are stark, real, and difficult for small businesses.  Why do elder care facilities have trouble with staffing?  A two bedroom apartment in Cumberland County costs upwards of $1500.00.  That is price gouging.  When I went to graduate school in Columbia, South Carolina in 1985, it was $400.00 a month.  Affordable housing has been run out of town, and this has been accomplished by the hearty and determined real estate community.  They created a bubble, and it made them a lot of money.  Houses in my neighborhood were selling for way over their realistic values, and some unsuspecting buyers were taken advantage of.  If you did want to work in Fayetteville or Cumberland County, you must commute.  There is little affordable housing left for low and middle wage workers.  There is on the other hand a plethora of expensive properties, some over a million dollars.  When I drive around I wonder to myself, "Who could afford to buy these huge houses?"  Fayetteville always has been like this, but always there has been an adept and competitive middle class.  My family fell into this category.  Gentrification has come to Fayetteville, and I have no problem with realtors claiming vagrant properties and flipping them for profit.  This is happening in the historic district of Haymount, and Ralph Huff has capitalized on this area.  Sadly New Orleans' Ninth Ward, with its fatal blow from Hurricane Katrina, was recast as lucrative resort property in the teeming minds of real estate investors.  The sadness of this gentrification is necessary culture such as iconic buildings and surrounding geography are destroyed.  This is happening in Fayetteville at an alarming rate.  The resulting urban sprawl has none of the character of it proceeding architecture.  Suffering at the hands of this phenomenon are The Haymont Grill, the former Putt Putt property on Bragg Blvd, and many others.  Especially on Raeford Rd. near Harris Teeter older structures have been razed and replaced with generic and ugly commercial buildings.  Where is their soul?  How can a low-paid CNA afford to get to work?  Fayetteville no longer is supporting its own.  Instead they are exploiting the naive minds of the military, enticing them to purchase expensive homes with VA loans sealing their fate as military lifers.  Their monthly housing stipends are an apt temptation to purchase an overpriced aging home that affords quick and easy access to the base.  Are they worth it?  It was not that long ago pre-Obama that soldiers were poor.  They have recovered, and with a quick look a civilian job openings at soon-to-be Fort Liberty, money is flowing to everyone.  There are medical jobs available that pay $300,000.00. I guess that answers my question of who could afford these luxurious homes in Fayetteville.  Fort Bragg is their cash cow.  It is not surprising why a vocal critic of inefficient Pentagon spending is not popular 'round these here parts.  The defense contractors have swept up, but that is changing since President's Biden's withdrawal from Afghanistan.  When the money and poppies are not flowing, it is a far different story.  Maybe when we escape the inebriating narcotic smog of smuggled drugs, Fayetteville could level its compass.  We could and should call it the "Afghan Bubble," and now Afghan refugees are bringing polio back to America.  Inasmuch as I am not a Republican or a supporter of Donald Trump, I do believe the foreign influx into America in recent years has weakened our solidarity.  We don't know what an American looks like anymore.  In Fayetteville the population resembles circus animals rather than real men and women.  Not only that they don't know if they are men or women.  Always Fayetteville has been a challenging city, and still it is.  I don't support the telecom industry.  I don't feel a cell phone is a necessity of American or any other life.  Our land line works perfectly well.  Running the security of your home on a personal entertainment device is not wise.  Never has America been this close to Communism.  Two years of Covid forged the model.  Keep your kids at home, naive, sheltered, and ignorant.  Rely upon "The Man" for your needs aka Jeff Bezos.  Mail order your groceries.  Never leave the house.  Become addicted to many things.  It has been a successful campaign of Trump-supported Communism.  How can you deny it?  He loves Putin and Kim.  We should have listened to rather than laughed at  Donald's rhetoric.  It was too extreme to believe it could be true, but it was.  Fayetteville has become a red megalopolis of manipulative, conniving, and hungry kittens sucking on the teat of Uncle Sam. 

The "Chain Gun" Alarm Clock

When you complain about the railroads they reciprocate.  When I talk smack about CSX, a company which has become a ruthless money maker rather than a reliable freight railroad, they like to punish me.  Simply they drive one of their polluting locomotives near your home, park it, and let it idle for 12 hours.  (Or 24, or 48)  A few years ago they let two Dash 9 locomotives idle for the two weeks of Christmas vacation.  Nice Christmas present, low frequency rumble and the Taos Hum.  Now they say they are "Green."  The only way that term applies is that they are novices at railroading.  They do no understand the seriousness of their industry, and how much it does pollute.  I am not  talking about carbon emissions.  I am talking about infrasound, low frequency sound you cannot hear, vibration, and rumble which travel through the ground.  We now can add low frequency AC current to the list, because it just flows into the environment unabated.  It creates an arc in my garage.  There is static electricity in the air, and common wall AC current will arc through the air causing shorts.  Oh joy.  I have not even mentioned the Apache helicopters with their targeting systems.  The other night there were four hovering around, and yesterday morning their chain gun sounded like it was being fired in the street outside.  Gentrification.  It has happened to Fayetteville.  While the real estate industry is making profits selling over-priced Fayetteville homes, the railroads (and there are four) are pumping out the funk along with the commercial airline industry.  They are selling over-valued homes and not telling you the local economy has zero respect for where you live.  We are being punished for living where we do.  What kind of poor man's vendetta is this?  Promptly at five in the morning we are blasted by the Fayetteville Regional Airport's direct early morning flight to Charlotte.  I guess they think we are sleeping and want notice being pushed further down into our mattresses.  Why are jets doing this?  Why are they disrespecting Fayetteville?  Why don't they turn right and fly over farmland east of the Cape Fear River?  Instead they pummel the city of Fayetteville with 1,300 mph jet wash, intense heat, and incredible sound pressure levels.  Low flying aircraft are second only to heart disease as the worst foe for human health, and yet they disrespect us every day.  Who should be monitoring and regulating this activity?  SCOTUS says not the E.P.A.  No power for them.  Why do we need them if they are sans nuts?  Castrated?  Eunuchs.  I realize the targeting system at Fort Bragg is a polluter, but the defense industry will object.  Bill Clinton okayed all of these microwave frequencies and now we are burning from them.  G5 is the worst.  Phased array antennas much more powerful than traditional microwave transmitters.  The airports didn't want it.  They don't know what they want.  

The "No Teaching" Zone

I can't imagine anything more daunting than trying to teach in North Carolina's system of public education.  Even after receiving a music education degree (BME) from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in 1985, the majority of information I would try to impart to students would be moot.  North Carolina has regressed so far in intelligence and civility, only tribal instincts seem to be important.  When did parents begin to dictate how and what teachers teach?  This only is an extension of the Far Alt Right Republican Trumptista philosopy where the rich control everything including your personal freedoms and your economic opportunities.  I can think of no other time when a quality music education program could be effective, but like so many other educators, our responsibilities have grown too great.  Arm ourselves to protect our students from mass shootings?  This broken record of passing the buck of Republicans to ensure radical, almost terrorist factions will continue to dominate American life needs fixing.  An eighteen year old can neither vote nor drink alcohol, but they can buy an assault rifle?  I am done with this debate.  It is ludicrous, and again like so many other educators we have chosen not to fight this battle.  I knew as soon as I stepped off the campus of UNC-Chapel Hill, it was not a level playing field.  Beginning teacher salary in 1985 from $18,000.00.  Why did I just spend the most challenging four years of my life earning a music education degree from a prestigious university, when my job actually would be in the trenches in the classrooms of North Carolina?  That was then.  Now it is worse.  Marching band parents dictate how the band director teach.  When I interviewed for a teaching job in Columbus, Ohio, during the interview I was told the mother's of the flag girls would chose the music for the half time show!  While a mass shooting is daunting, to me it isn't the greatest battle.  The greatest battle is trying to apply tough learning to a body of students who evidently have become special needs.  They needs to be called their chosen pronouns.  ?  What?  The focus of my teaching, creating higher functioning and more intelligent mature adults, is being undermined by a fixation on gender identity.  Never before in the history of America have children been confused by their gender.  That is an over-reaching blanket statement, but I believe it is true.  Always the human race has had homosexuality, but an issue where a child does not know how to act because of a confusion of gender?  Previously it was "Tomboys."  Still this is a common phenomenon, girls who identify with their more masculine brothers' activity.  Perhaps there are boys who identify with more feminine activity, but I am not familiar with this.  This battle is not appropriate in our system of public education, and it is far-reaching to expect our school professionals to kowtow to this desire.  Because young adults advance through puberty and adolescence while in school, it is a component of the public education system.  The gamut of that for me was getting sex education in health class in ninth grade.  That was it.  There was no discussion about personal gender identity.  I will be bold enough to say that even during my time of public education, we were a stronger race.  There was little time for weakness.  If you wanted to survive, you had to be tough.  That meant you could not waffle in confusion about your self.  No longer are we tough.  No longer are we physically fit.  No longer are we cognitively capable.  The communist siege has done their job.  They have brought down America.  "Officials" are afraid schools will be new breeding grounds for Monkeypox.  Let's make up some more reasons why American children cannot get an education.  First we decided to exploit our youth by targeting their expendable income.  Now students are emerging from our educational system with thousands of dollars of debt, even hundreds of thousands.  We have so exploited our children it should be of no surprise they are killing each other.  We continue to bombard society with harmful, inciting, extraneous radiation, but plead the fifth when trying to explain continued mass shootings.  This radiation is a primary problem in the world today, but it is not the only one.  The other problem we have is inbreeding.  Take a look at the pictures of the shooters.  Do you see something upsetting?  The genetics of these shooters have been compromised.  What does that mean?  Since the Alt Right has decried science and logic, the most conflicted and biologically compromised individual now is acceptable, because they create tumult, unrest, and reportable drama.  Instead of investing in the human race, its purity, integrity, and capability, we have decided to attack it.  We have become mutants of our own design, because no longer are we smart and savvy enough to ensure Capitalism works.  For Capitalism to function it takes sheer power in all arenas.  We gave up on that, because it is easier to own the plantation through corrupt politics.  (Mitch McConnell)  I did not choose to live the last chapters of my life in the Theater of the Absurd.  I would like to think that if I chose, I could teach music education to young Americans and it would be appreciated.  I would not have to stop and think about whether a student was a boy or a girl.  I would not have to kowtow to their "pronouns."  I would make them better smarter people by showing them things outside of their own issues, because it all has happened before.  We are a speck of dust in the universe, and if we took the time to embrace our personal history we would understand our selfish fixations should be secondary.  Loving our fellow man is more important, and I mean that in an altruistic sense.  Trying to snake your best friends asshole is depraved, and a bit of church would help.  Never have I felt that abortion should be used as contraception, so I agree with our Supreme Court's decisions.  I also feel marriage is a religious sacrament, and it should be reserved for man and a woman.  I believe the military has become 50% communist, and we need to keep an eye on their activity.  This insurrection has come from within, and they are listening to everything we say and watching everything we do.  (That is why my ears are ringing at the moment.  Their ISR systems have become a large source of this aberrant radiation.)  There is no need to shell the enemy anymore.  Just surveil them with massive amounts of microwave energy, and they will contract "Havana Syndrome" and disappear.  The priorities of this generation of Americans are skewed.  They are addicted, selfish, and ignorant, and I don't want to teach them. 

Radiation America

When I sat down this evening with the laptop in hand, all of the ideas I had today which compelled me to write a blog entry disappeared.  This blank mind is an anomaly.  I should drink less, but alcohol never affects my thinking.  Only does it relieve my stress and calm my tattered emotions.  Extensively I have written for two decades of the plethora of man-made pollution bombarding our daily lives.  Pollution is the wrong word.  When people think about pollution necessarily they will think of litter on the highway, hog waste at processing plants, Gen X in the air and our drinking water, and carbon emission from so many man-made products.  Cars, trucks, planes, and trains all burn fossil fuels, and all of them burn much needed oxygen meant for us and Mother Nature and replace it with carbon monoxide and other harmful toxins.  While this is traditional pollution, in this modern age of wireless technology other harmful emissions have been added to the stew.  These are the emissions of which I write most frequently.  When past president Bill Clinton auctioned off previously unavailable frequencies of the electromagnetic spectrum to balance the federal budget, single-handedly he created our current American economy.  Wireless technology has been our economy ever since.  Almost every adult American has a cellular phone, and many of our children do.  This wireless communication has been pushed on the consumer like it is necessary for our daily existence.  It isn't.  If one were to look back even before the government broke up the Bell telephone system as a corporate monopoly, we would see wired technology is better than wireless.  Why?  The reason is the same reason America is a mess politically.  Regulation to ensure corporations comply to health standards has been dismantled.  Largely this began with past president George W. Bush.  Deregulation was lobbied diligently as an inhibitor of growth potential for businesses.  Consequently America has become a third world country with an elite wealthy class who possess most of the money.  The middle class has dwindled, and the poor have proliferated.  Since the wealthy all ready have all the money, no longer do they need a functioning Capitalist free market.  America's free market system has been assaulted along with her people not unlike other nation's who have succumbed to communist take overs.  The entire Alt. Right extreme Republican faction is nothing more than Communism.  The sting of the oppression of our personal freedoms, our privacy, our economic opportunity, and most of all heterosexual love potential has rained down on America like acid.  The tool of the Alt. Right has become these unregulated unmonitored emissions.  I call them "Gay Rays," because heat, vibration, electricity, and magnetism easily quell normal heterosexual desire.  This desire is dependent upon emotional responses, tactile responses, pheromones, and a neutral environment devoid of external stimulus.  In the past humans sought to augment these responses with man-made stimuli including smells, music, and eye candy.  Today they no longer are strong enough to overcome the onslaught of electromagnetic pollution rife in our environment.  The result has been a gender crisis where children cannot recognize their own sexual orientation.  They are so inundated with harmful man-made  stimuli, no longer can they get in touch with their own physical and emotional inclinations.  As I sit here late at night my ears are screaming with tinnitus from an idling Amtrack passenger locomotive a few miles from our home.  This locomotive is not the Thomas the Train of children's literature.  It is a mammoth, sixteen cylinder, turbo charged electricity factory ambulating through our neighborhoods.  Much of the electricity is broadcast into the environment in the form of low frequency alternating current which escapes from the traction motors and the complex processors in its high voltage cabinet.  Prior to 1990 there was no AC traction, and 1990 is when life in America began to change for the worse.  Ask Kurt Cobain.  

Dumb America

I will start with saying always I am surprised by historical jazz music.  There was a lot going on back in the day with what often is called American's true art form.  (Bluegrass music should hold a similar moniker.)  It takes thought to process jazz music.  It does not take thought to appreciate it.  One only has to be open to its influences, and allow themselves to feel something.   That being said the Bluebird Label has its own distinct character, and my introduction to it was Benny Goodman's orchestra.  There is a bit of a formula to the tunes and the arrangements, and it relates to World War ll dance music for the American masses.  One must be ready for that dynamic.  As I listen to Duke Ellington's band circa 1940-1942 starkly it is in this vein.  It is unlike any other Duke Ellington music I have heard.  The same might apply to Count Basie's orchestra early on.  The early Kansas City Basie is the best in my opinion.  The surprising thing about "The Blanton/Webster Band" is the tunes are very arranged in American popular song style.  They are danceable swing tunes, but they are in that familiar radio format with an easily palatable vocal lyric.  Early jazz bands evolved through a series of styles, and eventually they sought to discard stereotypical forms.  Duke Ellington, although adhering to societal norms necessarily for a time, eventually broke barriers of feeling and human expression.  I am not in the dance mood, so these quintessential music collection is a bit to stomach.  The overt feeling is romantic, and that is fine.  On the other hand America has become "Special Needs."  As I listened to the fine rendering of the January 6th Committee's hearing on television this evening, it was apparent their argument was being broadcast almost for "Special Needs" individuals.  Evidently we have become so ignorant as a nation with an inability to discern truth from fiction, the Trumptopian scenario was being handed to the American public on an hors d'oeuvre tray like junior high school.  The LGBT QRST radicalized faction of miscellaneous separatist groups are the same.  They are not capable of being responsible adults alternately demanding special treatment from society for their proclivities.  Why should they receive preferential treatment for choosing to have sex within their same gender?  There is nothing exemplary about this, and the more I understand their propaganda the more it incites me.  I have worked my whole life to excel at music, and never did I stop to demand society give me preferential treatment, because I defied the norms of traditional American society.  No longer do we know what these are, and our modern times have been nothing other than a catastrophe of deconstructionism.  We must be the stupidest nation on earth. 

Tending to Fayetteville's Homeless

It was a long day yesterday.  I don't remember why.  Shortages in staff for assisted living facilities are wreaking havoc on seniors.  My mother is included, and surprisingly today the seminal CNA who held together her floor resigned.  (I hope my mother's added responsibility to her daily load was not the cause)  She could bring down the Holy Roman Empire if given the chance, and that is why I am feeling blue.  It takes time for me to recognize the negative stimulus and change gears.  When she is unhappy her traditional protocol is to project her unhappiness onto those around her blaming them.  The reason doesn't matter.  Often it will be a moot point, something that may be applicable, or something about which she has been stewing for days or weeks.  She loads and cocks and fires at will feeling no responsibility for her attack.  Those receiving most often are trying to help her.  It is a painful scenario, and it is incumbent upon the recipient to discern the unjustified attack and divert it.  Today was the first day I left this facility in futility.  There was nothing I could do to help, so I left.  It is their job to do this work.  In actuality it was a timely thing my exit, because in coming home I was able to accomplish something substantial.  I was not able to plant a garden this year, because of my mother's health problems.  (I have been to busy trying to manage her care)  Conversely I did remove a huge and troublesome magnolia tree from our back  yard, because it was wreaking havoc on the sanctity of our summer.  Without it the maintenance of our backyard during the summer is minimal equating to a mowing every month.  With this tree in its leadership position, its refuse (hundreds of large decaying leaves) covered what would be a pretty green lawn.  Now it is gone, and because I left her facility early today so is its stump.  The remaining stump of our felled sycamore tree abutting her close line post also is gone.  It is a success.  This removal was accomplished in about one hour's time, and conveniently both piles of wood pulp were saturated with two and a half inches of hard-falling rain.  Things are progressing, although I resisted the temptation to shovel silage in my sandals.  There is bacteria in this soil and also in decaying wood, and I have been sick for over three years.  Covid was a major component of my illness.  Patiently I am waiting until next Friday to receive my fourth booster.  Each previous shot has been the only thing that allowed me finally to recuperate from these bacterial and fungal infections.  Damn Covid and who created it.  It would help if my mother's facility could do their job.  It would help if the American labor force was not hobbled by two years of Covid.  It would help if corporate America, the railroads in particular which have become a corporate monopoly, would do the right thing.  Only is it one hundred degrees, because the 82nd Airborne is hauling their gear back from Poland via Military Ocean Terminal Sunny Point.  Those cargo ships motor up to those three deep water docks, and the AC locomotives do a little dance continuously until the junk has been stowed at Fort Bragg via Fort Junction.  My ears ring continuously from the tinnitus, and the pressure on the human vessel is almost past the breaking point.  Truly it is survival of the fittest, and the majority of the seniors in Fayetteville have not made it.  They have dropped like flies, and rest assured the real estate industry will try to make a profit selling their homes.  Gentrification has commenced in Fayettenam.  The moniker "History, Heroes, and a Home-town Feeling" long has expired.  We have become the ghetto, and no one can dispute it.  Perhaps a new city government will help.  Shall we ask how Governor Cooper will spend 750 million dollars in opioid settlement money over 18 years?  I would begin with the homeless.  

Let's Be Friends

 I am aware it is "Pride" month. Pride will always be the longest distance between two people.  It makes us artificial.  Humility makes us real. - Thomas Merton.  I was having dinner at the Chinese Buffet in town, and I was dining alone.  When I attended The Ohio State University in the 1990's, I became accustomed to dining alone.  I was in a completely new state and city, but why should this limit your ability to enjoy your dinner?  I forced myself to frequent restaurants alone, and most often I would sit at the bar.  They were happy to serve me.  When you are devastated the first time from the big break up having been codependent upon your substantial other for a long time, it takes time to retool your life.  This is such an common everyday scenario.  Love and companionship provide such joy and pleasure, but when they leave...  The chasm, the void is vast and dark.  There will be a point if you chose to survive and continue living, you will change yourself to accommodate the loss.  Most often what that entails is choosing not to love that way again.  I had the love early in my life, and it lasted seven years.  For a long time I continued to believe this kind of love always was possible.  It is not.  Maybe it is an adolescent thing.  Maybe it is a first love thing.  I refuse to concede it no longer is possible.  For me I know it is not, and if you continue to want it for yourself you are creating a world of hurt, loneliness and disappoint.  I like to imagine it still being possible, so that occurs in my mind.  Is it fantasy?  Perhaps, but that kind of intimate, physical, emotional love which may only occur in adolescence is as pure as gold.  I am extremely luck to have had it, and it didn't just happen by itself.  I made it happen.  I had an idea of how I wanted it to be, and I worked for it.  It was almost a full time job this love.  A marriage is the same.  It is a full time job keeping it alive and vital.  I would like to see this kind of personal expression preserved.  The feeling in the film "Endless Love" is in the ballpark.  It is tangible this feeling, and although it is not readily accepted today, physicality has a lot to do with it.  I am pretty fatigued as a sixty year old man being expected to relate to women for their minds only.  May I ask what vessel carries this mind?  The mind is a blob in your head, but the vessel that carries it is equally as important in love relationships.  I am chastised for even thinking in my mind what a beautiful body a woman may have.  This is the age in which we live.  It is a whole.  There is no separation between the mind and the body, accept that you can choose to engage your mind only.  If you do you are negating most of what makes you human, and certainly as a populace we don't embrace that anymore.  Humanity went out with Donald  Trump.  Brutality, narcissism, savagery, and fascism are the adjectives of the Trump ideal.  In the Trumpian dystopia is nothing more than plantation owners working their slaves.  They feel a subservient race should be enslaved and should toil for free for the profit of their masters.  It is nothing other than Jim Crow.  It is not new.  It was what built America, but it was wrong.  We are confused.  I sat in a booth at the local Chinese Buffet, of which we have not frequented since the onset of Covid.  When I looked up my view was a lesbian couple sitting next to one another.  they were young and I guess in love.  The dominant partner really exhibited the persona of a Latina gang banger.  You may have thought "she" was a man.  She acted like a man, and more unusually than men treat women, she was dominant over her partner.  This is a recurring theme in Fayettenam.  I see it all the time, militant, feminist, lesbian husbands determined to control their female partners.  On many of the cruise lines it is the homosexual men who wield this control over the heterosexual women.  They will do anything in their power to keep a heterosexual man from approaching a straight woman.  It is called "Cock Blocking."  I didn't have time to fight the "Gay Mafia" at sea, but I would not choose to cross the husband in this lesbian couple.   She was angry, violent, and protective of her charge, not unlike a Mexican cartel operative steeped in violence to control territory.  I ate in peace, and this was my TV.  Young people have yet to grow into adulthood, and as such they are separatist and rebellious to authority.  I expect too much as an ex college professor that young people could step out of their personal intimacy needs and actually engage in society.  That is the kind of juvenile love of which I spoke.  Over the years I learned to change my perspective.  I realized it is not rational for a husband or wife to be able to satisfy all of their spouses needs.  They need other friends.  Pick what is most important to you for the basis of the relationship, agree on it, and carry on.  If you are committed to one another than other people should not be a threat to their marriage.  They will be an asset.  They will provide diversity.  They will provide variety.  Most couples I see are not this way.  It was a surprise to find out some married couples share Facebook feeds.  Wow!  They use the same profile, so if you are talking to one the other hovers not far in the background taking notes.  Ugh!  I have been admiring a local business professional.  This woman is unique in Fayetteville not only from her look, but from her behavior.  It is what catches my attention.  Bait on the hook, and I can't bite.  I will think about it though.  She is of mixed race, and in the business environment appears white.  When I saw her tonight checking out of our Food Lion grocery store I was allowed to see the other side.  On task she dresses and behaves professionally with sleek business clothing and tended hair.  This is unusual today.  Professional dress is a thing of the past, so I respect it.  She has wide shoulders, a thin frame, and a Jamaican face.  (These women always have been beautiful to me)  Tonight God allowed me to glimpse the other side, and I stood quietly and observed.  How can I explain the feeling?  It was not infatuation, because I am not sexually attracted to this woman, but I do find her stimulating and interesting.  Perhaps it is her personal lifestyle that prompts my interest, and I think it is.  She was with another woman, and they were shopping together.  I can't project if they were a couple, but it is possible.  In this setting the business clothing was gone, and a complete other persona was in play.  This was the surprise.  She was scantily dressed with no brassiere.  Her shorts were so short her cheeks were exposed, so it was an extremely relaxed demeanor suggestive of comfort and security.  She was confident, flirty, and sensual.  My intuition guessed this immediately when I saw her the first time, and as a man naturally I responded.  As a probable lesbian promptly she shut me down.  In our time in public it is fashionable to dress like this for your partner, but feel somehow other around you should be immune to your affect.  I was standing directly behind her, and perhaps others shoppers would not be intrigued by such a character.  As a man I am.  It is man's nature, and it is natural to him, yet I am chastised for responding this way.  I said nothing to her, because I was not prepared for such an exchange.  Simply I made note of her alter ego, and will remember it when I conduct business again.  To find someone interesting for certain reasons is normal, but to assume they want to have sex with you also is egocentric and short-sighted. Young people who have not matured into adults may have trouble interacting with adults.  The only model they have is their parents.  It is a searing jab to be disrespected by a recalcitrant daughter, when you are not a father.  I am just a single man living in this world trying to get by.  I would say you could have the most satisfying interaction of your life if you tried it.  The millennial generation is separatist, antagonistic, and self-serving.  "Pride always will be the greatest distance between two people.  It is humility that draws us together."  As a teacher and former college professor I only want to talk to young people.  Their parents are protective and controlling, and the children yearn for diversity, experience, and freedom.  "Dancing, eating, and drinking are not holy."  Of course they are not, but you don't do them in church.  Not doing such things would ensure extinction.  This country is confused, and the "Three R's" aren't going to fix it.  It is a humanity problem, and it can't be solved with an iPhone.  

P.S.  I went to get a Covid booster today at Health Pavilion North.  As it turns out I have two more weeks to wait before I can get another shot.  (I am sick again)  Discuss.  With all of that pretense and a gaggle of parched and hungry Canadian geese camped out on the clinic front porch surrounded by their own feces, when I sat down in the waiting area I glanced down and to my right.  There in front of me were the same crocs I had seen last night on the feet of my bank teller.  They upon closer scrutiny were unmistakable.  They were red, white, and blue, and mostly white.  White crocs.  Above the crocs were a thin pair of black legs terminating in a mask staring intently at a smart phone.  I asked myself, "This couldn't possibly be the same women?"  It was only last night at the grocery store I saw these shoes filled by a scantily clad, thin, young woman.  Without staring I came to realize it was her, again.  Was I stalking her?

Drugs Flying Into Our World

I am going to sleep downstairs tonight, so that the offending Apaches from Tallahassee don't give me a late night sunburn.  I just as soon donate my scalp as to contract radiation burn.  With Sierra Nevada producing such a diverse choice of modular sensor arrays, and L3Harris building them into every aircraft conceivable, your chance of avoiding their scrutiny is nil.  Infrared surveillance is everywhere in the sky.  It is just a matter of who it is.  Elon Musk wants his pie in the sky to the tune of thirty thousand low orbit satellites.  Again I will ask the question.  "Who does one go to to receive permission to fly thirty thousand satellites all around the world?"  When the Donald was President inexplicably he created a new branch of the armed services.  It was called the "Space Force," and we know nothing about it.  It is headquartered at an airfield on the eastern seaboard of Florida.  Meanwhile... Mr. Musk is rocketing is fleet into the sky with abandon, and each bird contains a steerable microwave array much more powerful than the standard transmitter.  It is G5 technology.  Is it a surprise I am getting a tan at three in the morning sleeping in the upstairs bedroom of our home?  More accurately this airborne radiation, microwaves especially, deeply penetrate the skin.  If you have eczema, psoriasis, and a fungal or bacterial skin rash, this radiation will make it worse.  If only could you believe it, Americans are being assaulted from the sky.  If we did realize, it would be difficult to discover who the perpetrators are, kind of like drug traffickers.  They like to fly just above the treeline, under the radar, to most watching eyes.  The names of the LLC's who own these small planes and jets are acronyms or other miscellaneous gibberish.  Purposely they are created to reduce liability for the plane owners.  More likely it is to disguise their identities.  With all of the available drugs in America, it is interesting only the little guys ever are busted.  Those trafficking the volume of lucrative illicit recreational drugs most likely are seemingly upstanding community members.  America is hypocritical at best, and Washington is the origin.  

Rage Against the Machines

I don't enjoy being angry.  It wastes valuable energy and time.  Anger can be a rallying cry, and it does accomplish certain things.  Anger is a base emotion used only in dire situations when rational thought and logical explanation fall short.  Sometimes deep human emotion requires extrication, and this is when anger creeps in.  Anger can be an effective tool, and it can be threatening.  Those who feel threatened can be manipulated, most often children.  Today I was angry, because when I was driving to see my mother I realized the sky was covered in ribbons of jet turds.  I have been watching this for a few years.  Inexplicably to us on certain days, the Fayettenam sky is frosted with Chemtrails.  The first time it was predominant was a week after New Years.  On the news a year later, we heard the source of this lattice work of white lines was a military exercise.  I knew this, because these Chemtrails do not originate from Fayetteville Regional Airport. (Grannis Field)  Instead they fly just above our treeline crisscrossing downtown Fayetteville and its surrounding residential neighborhoods.  We know the 82nd Airborne.  We know bugging out.  We know Cherry Point, Seymour Johnson, and Camp Lejeune.  We understand Pope Field and Simmons Army Airbase.  We also understand military sorties fly "under the radar."   I was infuriated today for another reason, and this reason was in 2011 the Federal Aviation Administration drastically changed traditional flight paths of many major airports.  This change was attributed to their switch from ground-based radar to satellite-based air navigation.  (GPS)  It was rationalized as a good thing, the same way the Norfolk Southern Railroad claims their operations are "Green."  Usually when you see a commercial on TV claiming something, it is because the parties offering the propaganda are corrupt and need positive advertising.  Chemours is an example of this.  They are offering a seemingly heart-felt television ad telling you how environmentally the company is.  The truth is Chemours is responsible for disease and death in hundreds of citizens and have been releasing Gen X and other toxic chemicals into the Cape Fear River.  They are DuPont Jr.  When DuPont was found liable for this activity, they sold off a company to produce a similar chemical with a different name to the China.  It was Chemours.  When someone feels the need to tell you how honest and good they are, it is because inherently they are the evil.  The commercial airline industry took a hit during Covid, and this two year respite from commercial flying largely closed the hole in the Ozone over the South Pole.  Jet exhaust is not user friendly.  It is a major source of carbon emissions.  Chemtrails are problematic and polluting, and these white ribbons in the sky have become more prevalent in Fayettenam with BRAC's decision to move Ground Forces Command here.  On any given day the white in the sky more likely is toxic waste spewed from jet exhaust rather than puffy white clouds.  When I cut my grass yesterday I had difficulty breathing.  Most of us would think Covid 19.  I looked up and the entire blue sky was a gauze of white jet exhaust.  The air was thin, because it was being replaced with carbon emissions.  In 2011 the FAA changed the flight paths, and for the first time in memory flights leaving and arriving at Grannis Field began flying directly over downtown Fayetteville and its surrounding residential neighborhoods.  No longer are they required to climb high into the sky to spare citizens the brunt of these emissions.  Instead in the most insulting and infuriating manner, they take off north and make an immediate left turn flying directly over Fayetteville at low altitude.  This is three thousand feet.  The message being sent is, "Eat my shit.  We don't care about the people in Fayetteville.  Let them breathe death."  This attitude is such a blatantly cavalier, brash, and Trump-like behavior, only can this activity be construed as purposely insulting.  They fly with impunity with their bird flown and spitting into the eyes of those underneath.  Clean air is a necessity for healthy human life, and that no longer exists and Fayetteville.  Most successful middle class citizens have flown the coup in an exercise of "fight or flight."  With this kind of corporate abuse landing squarely in the lungs of local residents, one can imagine the ensuing rocky terrain of of civil war, carnage in the streets, and eventual revolution.  We shouldn't have to deal with such abuse, and Washington and North Carolina have failed again.  It is almost as if corporate America is baiting us for a civil melt down.  It is a shite "Condition of America," when airplanes and locomotives become a human enemy.  It always has been prophesied to be "Rage Against the Machines."  I would rather wait for the aliens.  When we begin being killed by our own the problem accelerates.  

Mishapen Human Sexuality and Its Political Platform

I am going to be bold and write about this, although it is controversial.  It is controversial now, because the Republican National Party is using it as a platform for expression.  Texas, like Florida, is enacting state-wide legislation condemning the LGBT choice, and its accompanying behaviors.  The American governmental system requires a symbiotic relationship between state and federal legislation, and in the recent political landscape under the far right siege of Donald Trump, state governments have begun to unravel and enact unconstitutional and  corrupt legislation.  They are being lobbied and influenced by Trump's machine, and his quest for a communist dictatorship.  Carefully he has planned and implemented a far right assault upon American democracy.  This is not the subject of my blog entry.  The subject of my blog entry is the LGBT "movement."  I have come to realize this "movement" and being gay aren't not necessarily the same.  There are many homosexual couples and singles who do not feel the need publicly to "have pride," "parade," or otherwise flaunt their personal choice of sexuality.  Most people respect the privacy of this choice, and also feel no need to flaunt their own personal choice.  Why would or should heterosexual people expect special treatment from their personal, private, sexual preference?  Consequently demanding both national and state-wide acknowledgement and acceptance of the LGBT lifestyle is unique and unusual.  I have come to believe it is detrimental to our nation.  For Americans as a populace to be expected to embrace an alternative personal lifestyle like it were exemplary is far reaching.  Why?  What is it LGBT people do that demands this special recognition?  More likely this call for acceptance is because of all ready existing discrimination.  The LGBT community feels unsupported and persecuted, so it is this discrimination that is exacerbating their need to protest publicly.  So be it.  Without a better understanding of LGBT habits, it will be difficult for mainstream America to accept this seeming aberrant behavior.  We are in the throes still of discriminating against women and blacks.  Adding LGBT to this list staunchly places this group at number three.  It is a lost cause.  The American Constitution and Christian faith suggest all people are created equal, but the LGBT community seems to want notoriety.  Why?  What is exemplary about being gay?  My opinion about what I see in the local LGBT community choosing this lifestyle, which denies a natural physical, spiritual, and emotional connection between men and women, is it is regressive.  It is devolution.  It suggests those choosing this sexual orientation aren't capable of mitigating the male/female dynamic.  We know this inherently is not easy.  The "War of the Sexes" has been around for centuries, but this struggle is the subject of and inspiration for most traditional art.  Most literature, film, and music would not exist if it weren't for the male/female relationship.  It is the crux of the human existence.  Suggesting it no longer is valid is a stretch, and expecting the majority to accept something which seems to offer little in his way is shallow.  LGBT is shallow and mono dynamic, because it excludes half of the human equation.  Choosing to live this way is one's personal choice, but suggesting the world herald this way of life is ridiculous.  "Don't ask, don't tell" ironically was a better perspective.  I will be candid in saying allowing open homosexuality in the United States military was a grievous mistake.  It is an unneeded distraction and threat to the integrity of our troops.  It is an unfair bias which should be absent.  A singular mono dynamic life experience would be limiting.  One only is capable of understanding their own perspective.  Many married heterosexual couples marry someone who looks like them to comfort rather than simulation   I see this often in the married couples I know.  They feel comfort only in looking at a reflection of themselves.   Variety is the spice of life I say.  To me this inability to absorb a  different perspective, gender, and physicality means you require special treatment.  This gender diversity is what the human race has had since its inception in the Garden of Eden with the creation of Adam and Eve.  From my personal experience this connection between man and woman, emotionally, physically, and spiritually is what makes life worth living.  When encountered, acknowledged, and allowed this chemistry can be like magic and can create a euphoria that never will be experienced otherwise.  It is a lost art, and America is not helping.  Yes, we are living in the shadow of heinous sexual harassment by white men like Bill Cosby, Jeffry Epstein, and Harvey Weinstein.  The list goes on, but it does not mean all men are pigs, and it should not discount God's pattern for human interaction.  It has.  The LGBT movement, like the Tea Party, has become an impetus for the victims of these crimes.  Not everyone is a victim, and Americans should not be expected to treat the entire population as victims.  Our local area is rife with militant lesbian feminism.  They are tough, angry, and hateful people,  especially toward "The White Devil."  (white men).  Watching these domineering females demand and keep control of a female mate and her child is sickening.  Once it was called "Penis Envy."  They want to be men, but they were born women.  I, as a middle aged white man, find it infuriating and frustrating that the LGBT community finds it unacceptable for me to be attracted to a traditional female form.  Why would I be attracted to a woman who thinks she is a man?  It has become sacrosanct to relish the difference between man and woman, between masculine and feminine, and between penis and vagina.  I have lived with myself alone for so long, the female form to me is the Holy Grail.  I long for this difference, for this complimentary form, and for the natural connection and intimacy the male/female model performs.  Once America agreed, and our entire lives revolved roughly around this pursuit.  LGBT has changed that, and cable TV now openly ignores male/female romantic and sexual energy.  It is urging us to ignore the naturally occurring "ID," and its attributes.  They are trying to make it vogue to be saccharine, mono dynamic, and bland.  The metaphors of the human "Mojo," defined in physical bodily terms, now are being scorned in favor of generic, nondescript, androgynous blobs.  We are traveling backwards toward one-celled organisms.  Is the comfort offered by shapeless, mindless, and sexless plasma really desirable, or does it simply provide comfort because of it compliance and non resistance?  Throughout history a good fight always was stimulating, desirable, and thought provoking.  Conformity on the most basic level is "Special Needs."  The human race is capable of much more, and we should attempt to rise to this challenge rather than demanding acceptance of mediocrity.  

Toe the Joe

 I have this to say.  Gas prices were this high once before, and it was W.  W. was from an oil cartel family, and because of them and their fallout with Saudi Arabia, the lower Saudi royals bombed the World Trade Center.  It wasn't Saddam Hussein.  Osama bin Laden was a part of it, and he wanted to be the fighting force for Saudi Arabia, but they turned him down.  He became his own fighting force with malice for this country, but it was the lower Saudi's that planned the bombing of the  American Twin Towers.  Saudi Arabia is NOT our a ally.  Change gears.  Rudy Giuliani was conspiring with known mobsters, displaced mafia henchmen, stationed in Ukraine.  The current President of Ukraine is a comedian and actor, not unlike former American President and actor Ronald Reagan.  It is possible he is performing the same task as Ronnie.  He is being puppeted by ulterior forces.  Meanwhile Russia invades Ukraine, and Joe Biden mindlessly is pumping billions of American tax payer dollars into Ukraine.  Meanwhile gas prices have risen for a second time to the highest level in U.S. history.  Meanwhile Joe Biden is pumping billions of dollars into a second proxy Cold War neglecting the American populace.  Instead he is fighting Vladimir Putin.  Shite never has been worse in America.  Joe, what are you doing?  Even the Alt Right, corrupt, Republican degenerate party is calling you a Communist.  This is not good.  We don't like it that you are hemorrhaging American tax-payer dollars to fund Ukraine.  We rather would prefer you to fund Americans. 

Jim Crow Jr. - The Sequel (but worse)

 It's best for us to understand that Mitch and his cronies don't care.  Rather they see a mass shooting at a largely Mexican-attended elementary school as a blessing.  They want to build a wall to keep Mexicans out of America.  Twenty dead Mexicans is a step in the right direction.  As Americans we really need to understand our dire political situation.  These men are fascists.  They are Nazis.  They are mass murderers.  Of course no eighteen year old should be able to purchase an assault rifle.  One thing Bill Clinton did accomplish in the crime bill was an assault rifle ban.  Touche.  There are so many things amuck in American society and politics, we cannot begin to fathom their challenges.  The more quickly we understand Mitch and his boys are ethnic cleansing from inside, the better.  Most of it has been masterminded by Satan himself.  MSNBC reported in all likelihood the 2024 presidential campaign would be Donald Trump vs. Joe Biden.  Quickly I reminded myself half of the news is hearsay.  I don't think that will happen.  If it does, if our Attorney General and the January 6th committee don't take this turd out of circulation, a twice impeached failure of a president, and he is allowed again to run for the President of the United States, then a civil war is merited.  A revolution may come to fruition.  If this nation, if America is subject to another round of lies, corruption, and evil, and it is allowed by American law, then everything about this country has failed.  Anarchy could ensue.  Any faith I have in America will be gone.  (Mostly it all ready is gone)  The people are merited in fighting back.  I don't want to spend the last chapters of my life as a guerilla soldier.  Fully I understand all of use at one time or another must stand up and fight for our freedom, but it is the job of our leaders to provide justice.  They are failing.  Not only are they failing, they are assaulting us from within covertly while wearing white collars.  Jim Crow Jr. is white collar crime, and if and when the average American decides to put a stop to it, it will tumble like an eighty year old falling off wall built to keep Mexicans out.  The fight, it seems, is on. 

Up Chuck America

 Time to write again.  It has been a while.  Before the latest carnage in Texas, a hate crime against Mexicans, SCOTUS busily was trying to ban abortion.  This came out of the blue, or did it?  It was just a matter of time before Trump appointed justices would abide by their true color, red.  A woman does and should have complete control of her own body, but we do live in something called a nation or country where solidarity is necessary.  Vaccines once were normal, because they save lives.  Only in this heated time of misinformation, gas lighting, and utter lying to their political constituency has evil constituted a governing policy.  It is past the point of absurdity, and necessarily I feel we will be fighting each other in the streets.  I hope that does not transpire, but if it does I am prepared.  Abortion should not be the issue.  The issue is contraception.  A woman's number one responsibility is to avoid unwanted pregnancy.  Once this was paramount in the ethos of public instruction.  You don't get pregnant, because if you do mostly your life will be over.  You don't get pregnant, and not getting pregnant has become too much for American youth.  Spoiled by smart phones, wireless internet, and immediate gratification, taking the necessary means not to get pregnant is an inconvenience.  It would mean you must commit to something.  You take responsibility for your own sexual desire.  I began having sex at a young age, and my number one objective was not to get pregnant.  We didn't.  Never.  Women can and should do it, practice safe sex with contraception.  It takes thought, energy, and dedication, things we no longer accentuate in American culture.  If the internet and a smart phone can provide so much, why can't it keep me from getting pregnant?  What a smart phone will provide during Armageddon is a weak and short-lived penlight.  That's all.  It will not plant a seed.  It will not till a field.  It will not harvest a crop.  It will not help you, so we need to wean ourselves away from this addiction.  Above all abortion should not be used as contraception, so I disagree with all of the angry women carrying signs.  Don't get pregnant.  You can do it.  Prove yourself.  Don't get pregnant.  If you get raped or molested by a family member or anyone else, then it would be your choice to terminate this life if the parent(s) cannot provide adequate sustenance for this child.  If the parents are drug addicts and are physically weak and diseased, spare the world another human anomaly.  We all ready are fucked up enough eating from the American food system.  This is why America has a weight problem, because commercial food is shite.  Buy it fresh from the store and cook it yourself.  It is easy.  Get yourself a steamer basket, a broil pan, a saute pan, and a pressure cooker.  It is easier to cook fresh vegetables than it is to thaw out frozen poison.  You simmer them water.  Don't get pregnant, and that is accomplished  by the LGBT community.  Procreation is a necessary tenant of the human race, except that human beings no longer are good, just, and honorable.  The amount of work it takes to sustain a marriage would be the most difficult thing you ever accomplished, but it is worth it.  Work.  It takes work to provide romance.  Any group that is represented by an acronym is doomed to failure.  They keep adding letters to the name, and who knows what any of it means?  The LGBT community around here is angry, misandrist, and separatist.  They almost violently mark lines in the sand with their toes, and dare you to cross it.  I mean lesbians protecting their cubs like bears.  It is disgusting.  You wonder why America is fucked up? 

The Dark Hole of Cumberland County

Personally I don't like to be a ragger.  Ragging on things can be a waste of time certainly, if only you dwell on the negativity of life.  Times arise when the shite is thick, and that is now in Cumberland County, North Carolina.  "Fayettenam" has been around since Viet Nam.  There have been myriad explanations of this emergent term, and often they are laced with endearing sentiments.  Many people of lived in Fayetteville, North Carolina because of Fort Bragg.  (soon to be Fort something else) I suggest Fort Powell.  Many also do not want the name of Fort Bragg changed.  Ironically in true North Carolina fashion, changing the name of the post has been explained in dollars and centers.  (how much it will cost to change signage)  This is stupid.  Who cares how much it will cost?  The idea is to remove the ramifications of Civil War bigotry from our current consciousness.  That is impossible, because America is under siege from Jim Crow Jr., really Donald Trump.  Fayetteville ironically has had an intellectual and creative side necessarily to "trump" the blatant and dominant military influence.  I am not a miliphobe, but now living in a traditionally middle-class civilian neighborhood turned NCO club, the stark contrast of civilian vs. military is blaring.  Once perhaps it was not.  Military and civilian citizens live their lives in completely different ways, and there is no law or national policy which mandates civilians must live a life of the military.  But they do, and with BRAC and the adoption of Ground Forces Command at Fort Bragg, there is no turning back.  Fayetteville is military central, and that is its focus solely because of the dollars flowing from Uncle Sam.  The more grievous problems of Cumberland Country and Fayetteville totally are ignored for this reason.  We are in a deep state of denial about the quality of life of Cumberland Country.  I do not like to rag, but fake news and misinformation have become rampant.  The truth no longer is told, and it is now commonplace to interject "Newspeak" into public consciousness.  Most of it is lies.  This is a surprise to me that you no longer can trust your leadership, and that with the emergence of the Trump Dynasty corruption and oppression are his formula for personal gain.  His goal is to convert America to Communism and to become our fascist leader.  He has reiterated his philosophy, but his humor and charm somehow duped half of our population.  When you find you have been taken, that is when it really stings.  Many still won't believe Donald Trump is evil, probably because he reminds them of themselves.  Virtue, honesty, and integrity are lost human ideals, and many Americans have no vestige of these qualities.  The absence of God's leadership, unwavering love, and compassion are the reason for this shift.  America has removed God from our nation, and it has been a heinous mistake.  Will we recover?  To rag.  To complain.  To point out.  What was my original thread?  Fayetteville has become Watts and Compton, the sewer of Fort Bragg.  The corruption of local corporate America is so deeply seeded, there is little chance of recovery.  Most of this aberrant activity is from foreign influence.  Most of the siege of American freedom, democracy, and Capitalism has been from communist nations.  They infiltrated America by buying our real estate and our businesses and planting their seeds of moral decadence and corruption.  It began in Hollywood with the Japanese, and it has continued all over America.  China and Mexico have large stakes in American commerce, and as such their fascist ways have infiltrated traditional American values.  Teachers won't teach in Cumberland Country.  Soldiers commit suicide after returning to Fort Bragg.  Murder is rampant.  People more often than not are on drugs, so progress is impossible.  Local politics sprinkle money on the deeply seeded problems.  The police chief, unable to keep an active force of sworn officers, is offering microgrants to quell violent crime.  What greater "cop" out can there be than for a police chief to sprinkle money on her constituency to get them to do her job.  It is because she is on the take.  Corruption has taken the place of honest leadership, and its money runs the local economy.  There are time I believe this corruption merely is ignorance and lack of morality.  They don't know any better, and there is nothing to teach them. 

The Evil Red State of Drugs

If I go for too long, "When good men do nothing, evil flourishes," it would seem The Donald keeps attracting flies like the worthless pile of dung he is.  The world has become overwhelming, and that is because democracy is in peril.  The Capitalist free market system cannot operate under siege.  It is and has been stricken with disease for a while now.  The rich no longer need the capitalist market, because they have all the money.  America can flounder, kick and scream, or break into civil war.  It may be the latter is the only answer, because to restore Capitalism the most major effort required of America must come to fruition.  The evening news reports the depressive news, but like local politics they fail to enter the ring at all.  The issues facing America are not fringe; they are the most basic philosophical ideologies imaginable, something beyond the capacity of current American thought.  Jim Crow Jr. is so ignorant, they don't know American civilization is a risk.  Instead a logical and natural conversion to Communism will ensue.  It all ready was begun and is continuing in our midst.  Joe Biden will not stop it.  Mike Pence will not stop it.  The only people who can stop it are the citizens themselves, and it will be arming ourselves against our neighbors who have been led astray by evil cloaked in human form.  Evil masquerades as good, and that is Donald Trump.   

Happy Doing Less?

 The all hallowed bubble or the Trumpian Utopia has been presented as reality, since Donald Trump emerged into the American political landscape.  Rest assured he has been painting this picture his entire life.  Need some snake oil?  How about some magic elixir that stops the pain?  Donald Trump has been selling fantasy, since the puppet Ronald Reagan drastically reduced income taxes for the rich.  "Yuppie" also emerged, and it was Donald Trump selling Manhattan dreams to the young and upwardly mobile Nouveau riche directly benefiting from "Trickle Down Economics."  In the 1980's, a decade in which I lived a large and important portion of my life, I felt what has happening in the American economy was acceptable.  To me "Trickle Down Economics" was working, because the consumer saw businesses, merchants, and manufacturers reinvesting in their companies.  There were tax loopholes to be found, but I saw American commerce flourish as a result.  Never was an American mall so well stocked or decorated for the Christmas holidays.  It was boutique, designer, and gourmet to the hilt.  I looked forward to reading the Land's End or L.L. Bean catalog, because the clothing they offered truly was of a higher quality than mall fodder.  The musical instrument market burgeoned with the introduction of the Yamaha DX-7 and the Korg M-1.  Ray Kurzweil set the stage for soul-moving sounds in music production.  All of this being said I have a right to reflect on the current "Conditions of America."  Never has it been worse.  There is this saccharine veil of comfort provided by internet streaming on a smart device.  Never are you very far from digital comfort, if you chose to suck on the teat of an iPhone.  I do not.  I want nothing to do with a portable consumer device controlling my home's security system.  It is flashy and convenient, but it is not trustworthy.  I went to graduate school to learn how to use the Apple Macintosh computer mostly for music purposes.  Other than the proliferation of millimeter waves in our personal airspace, apps that are available today again are consumer level software.  That is the chosen market.  I like the professional market, but it is difficult to remember.  Anyone can have a recording studio on their laptop.  Anyone can shoot a movie on their iPhone camera.  What does any of this have to do with the Trumpian Utopia?  It is candy.  It is sugar sprinkled on shit, and it in no way confronts the problems and issues of this nation.  We have been living in a the daze of the surreal for a long time, and it is the Republicans who have been pitching this illusion.  Science?   No need to worry about climate change.  The arts?  Why do we need them?  Journalistic integrity?  Big Brother lies to everyone to aid the rich and keep them in control.  George Orwell's novel, "1984," came three decades later as did the predicted catastrophe of 2012.   We are in it now.  What am I talking about?  I am talking about the Republican philosophy of denying everything real and hoping everything stays the same, while their compatriots rape and pillage America.  You can wear the rose colored glasses.  You can bury your head in the sand.  You can do what the cruise industry requires simply and "Greet and Smile."  After the onslaught of Covid 19, you can wake up and smell the shit.  I knew it would happen in my lifetime, because I have been writing about it for some time.  I didn't know our war would be a war with a manufactured covert pathogen.  That was pretty sneaky, but we are onto you.  I guess it takes living through a Great Depression, World War, or pandemic to understand life's true challenges.  Waking up each day with a smile is a nice thought, and your Crew Trainer will tell you to put all of your baggage in a trunk and slide it under the bed.  In America no longer can we do that.  We cannot ignore the ensuing decline of American integrity, prosperity, and happiness.  We are not great anymore, and the proof is in the pudding.  The reality is you can't make a Hollywood level movie on your iPhone.  You can't write a symphony on your laptop.  You can't make art unless you possess the knowledge.  Talent helps.  I am an artists, but it is difficult to remember.  When I came back to North Carolina to look after my mother, I had to stop thinking about making art.  Today it doesn't matter, because there is almost no art anywhere, especially on television.  Television sold out the day it invented "Reality TV" and stopped paying professionals to do the work.  Music was compromised the day Napster allowed copyrighted content to be bootlegged on the internet.  Thus far it has not regained its former worth for the American soul.  I don't think there is an American soul, and if there is it is just Republicans still wishing things will just stay the same.  Ignore reality.  Ignore selling America out with Globalism.  Ignore reality.  Ignore grown up life.  Ignore the school of hard knocks, the Protestant Work Ethic, and home grown values.  Ignore God.  Ignore religion.  Masturbate to pornography free and prolific on the internet.  I'm not sure why I keep chugging along.  I am not happy doing less. 

A Treeless "Fayettenam."

Recently the Fayetteville Observer ask for feedback on what the most pressing issues should be for potential political electees.  There was only space for one issue, but the paper suggested this Facebook forum for more conversation.  My family has lived in Fayetteville since my father acquired the band directors job at Terry Sanford High School in the early 1970's.  I have returned after moving away to earn post graduate degrees in music and having worked abroad playing piano for various cruise lines for over a decade.  This return was necessitated by my father's passing and my mother's need for care, who now is ninety years old.  We are living in our same home in Van Story Hills off Morganton Road.  While I don't publicize my Fayetteville domicile, I have lived here for going on ten years.  I guess I have become a Fayetteville resident again, although the quality of life has regressed almost drastically since the onset of Covid.  I have strong feelings on what issues should concern local politicians, and often they are glossed over because the issues that really concern Cumberland County are severe and daunting.  Why is this?  That is the question.  Why would it be necessary to have a Facebook group entitled "Remembering Our Lost Friends?"  This group was begun, because so many from Fayetteville die prematurely.  Most who graduate from high school and attend college never return, because Fayetteville does not offer the amenities of other less military cities.  This is true.  It is not speculation, and not long ago Fayetteville leaders were trying to query younger people as to why they leave.  The nickname "Fayettenam" can be construed as an accurate determinate.  Life here is more difficult than other places with a combination of ghetto crime stemming from the proximal violence of necessary preparation for war at Fort Bragg.  This dichotomy is real, and while it is part of Fayetteville's challenge it is not all of it.  The unfolding military industrial complex perhaps is more challenging to Fayetteville residents, especially after the creation of CSX by former Treasury Secretary John Snow.  In the 1980's railroads were on the decline financially, and John Snow sought to revive their profitability.  He did so by acquiring and merging the Chessie System with Seaboard Coastline in 1980.  Since this merger then CSX-T has escalated to behemoth corporate monopoly earning almost seven hundred million dollars a quarter for shareholders.  They have positioned themselves as a major controller of federal and state power, and this influence has little to do with common residents.  They earn money for investors, and consequently this earned income overshadows any quality of life for those living near their trackage.  With the onset of AC traction in the rail industry in 1990, CSX, General Motors, and General Electric effectively grew into a dominant corporate monopoly stifling most competition.  The Norfolk and Southern resisted the transition to AC traction for various reasons, but recently with the emergence of Wabtec and Motive Power have begun a conversion process to rebuild their DC engines into AC stallions.  These newly emerging locomotives are like giants on steroids, and this incredible and massive power largely are what have allowed CSX to grow into such a corporate monopoly.  Not unlike the recent unveiling of G5 wireless networks with phased array antennas, the availability of millimeter wave technology at the hands of past president Bill Clinton has skewed electromagnetic pollution and begun to irregularly warm the planet.  Train activity in Fayetteville is a major antagonist, and I have written about it before.  Local politicians would cower at the challenge of both confronting and trying to re-regulate the rail industry.  George W. Bush paved the way for this unbalanced power by deregulating much industry including airlines.  "Fayettenam," while most often thought of because of Fort Bragg, actually is created by excessive rail and air traffic.  Fort Bragg is part of this activity, and we all understand the necessity of the 82nd Airborne and what it provides for national defense.  What is not considered is separate corporate activity in what Fayetteville really has become, an industrial park.  While some enterprises have folded or moved on, Cargill, DAK Americas,  Valley Proteins, Hexion, Goodyear, and now Fayetteville Block have energized their output.  Together with the activity at the Fort Bragg railhead, the Honeycutt Marshalling Yard, rail traffic now proliferates 24/7 with little regard for local life.  Trains are a major antagonist in Fayetteville, and not just because they block grade crossings.  AC traction locomotives pollute at a level misunderstood and not studied in any way, and this is the way CSX, Wabtec, and Motive Power like it.  Add the Aberdeen and Rockfish and its River Terminal, and newly drawn flight paths by the 2014 NexGen aviation plan to vitalize the private sector of the aeronautical industry, Fayetteville has become a huge whore.  While regulating rail traffic should be a priority, stopping commercial air flights  from flying directly over downtown Fayetteville is urgent.  One only has to ask themselves, "Who is this serving?"  They changed the Fayetteville flight paths and added express service to Charlotte, and now Fayetteville is the sacrificial lamb for their profit.  It is a huge disservice to everyone in Fayetteville, but especially for those up the ladder of economic success.  This generation of affluent Fayetteville is becoming extinct, and with its conspicuous absence has come exploitation.  Ask any homeowner living on the Gold Coast, Skye Drive, in Van Story Hills, in Haymount, or anywhere else.  None of these capable money-earning citizens would choose to have PSA, Endeavor, or Piedmont jets flying over their homes at two thousand feet.  They shouldn't be, because they didn't before.  Rail traffic before Fortune 500 didn't operate twenty four hours a day.  They activity was reasonable with no need to earn a gazillion dollars for share holders.  Fayetteville is a whore and to a large extent Roy Cooper has promulgated this title.  The lives of residents of Cumberland Country are secondary, except for the flowing dollars of those in the military.  The pimp in this case is the Pentagon and the Department of Defense.  Life will not improve in Cumberland Country until these issues are understood.  In my humble opinion Fayetteville has been sacrificed for Ground Forces Command, CSX, and the rest.  Investing in children living in Fayetteville is not important to the bottom line.  Once there was a strong Fayetteville society presence because of affluence and subsequent influence.  Because this generation is dying off, new money is gouging the pie.  Before long there will be no trees left in Fayetteville.  

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

I don't have much on my conscious mind except survival.  When the Marines come to Fort Bragg,  all of life is reduced to their reality.  In the field.  Big guns.  Kill the enemy.  Maneuvers.  Completely I understand the need of  American servicemen to practice their craft, and there is no better to do so than Fort Bragg, North Carolina.  When Base Realignment and Closure made the decision to make Fort Bragg (soon to be Fort Powell) the center of the military universe, the bubble quickly was inflated to favor this strategic plan.  Why not make Fort Bragg the bubble itself?  A bubble always will emerge in a Capitalist society to favor commerce and revenue.  For Cumberland Country and Fayetteville mostly it was and has been housing.  The surrounding area must provide for these active duty military personnel and their families.  Always that has been the case for Fort Bragg and Fayetteville.  Not until now has housing been such a contentious issue.  A one bedroom apartment in Cumberland County rents for $1,200.00.  Gouge.  Then again we are in the wake of the Covid assault.  Necessarily the proximal economy must readjust, and America's news media is hesitant to point the blame for encroaching inflation on the supply chain blockage.  It's like we just forgot Covid really is to blame for increased prices for housing, gas, and food.  The reality for a host military community is, not everyone living here wants to live a military lifestyle.  It would be difficult for those outside of the 200,000 military bubble to exercise any sensibility other than that of those 200,000.  The few remaining can believe they are not governed by Uncle Sam, but the reality is the Department of Defense and the Pentagon hold sway over Cumberland Country.  It is their oyster.  There may be a few independent businesses, but wholly and fully the majority of Cumberland Country relies upon the flowing dollars of the military.  There is the restaurant scene, and evidently it has taken the place of the meet markets once located on Hay Street.  The smut or more accurately the diversion sought by taxed military enlistees has been cleaned up.  No longer does Hay Street cater to the needs of G.I.'s.  Unless they want to frequent a baseball game with their spouses and children, it is unlikely military personnel will  patron downtown Fayetteville.  Instead they will cruise Skibo Road and shop.  Have the needs of newly enlisted military personnel changed?  After living in a tent in the field for weeks at a time and undergoing stringent physical and psychological training, what do G.I.'s want to do?  Once it was drink alcohol, buy drugs, and hopefully get laid.  Was it appropriate to eradicate this potential from downtown Fayetteville?  Because this potentially illicit activity has been removed from public eye, where has it moved?  Is it possible that these once recognized and championed needs have been quelled?  Welcome Barack Obama and his introduction of open homosexual behavior in the United States military.  Believe me Fort Bragg has changed, and yet nary an institution has deemed it necessary to assess the ramifications of drastic change.  Gays in the military?  What does that mean, really?  If we now are allowing women openly to serve, is it possible Miss America is signing up for active duty?  Perhaps the Lady's Auxiliary has enlisted.  If one looks closely the more approximate profile of women in the military might be lesbian.  Considering Barack Obama sanctioned homosexual behavior in military ranks, could not serving now be exploited for this purpose?  Military life isn't civilian life, and if examined accurately we all must agree that military life is far from mainstream.  Basic training in and of itself presents a picture of challenge and extremism.  It is predicated by discipline and the necessary instilling of obedience and order.  Above all military personnel exist in and as ranks of people.  They operate in close confines as groups of soldiers relying upon one another to complete their mission.  This reliance is a necessary tenant of the military ethic.  Traditionally if the military once was predominantly male, allowing homosexual behavior freely to proliferate in the ranks would be a major shift of policy.  It could be seen as an unfair and inappropriate advantage for homosexuals the same way it is working in the close confines of a cruise ship.  As more women are introduced to military service the equation becomes more complex.  As a nation who funds the United States military through our tax dollars, we have no idea of the dynamic that exists today created by this new change.  Only those actively serving could offer a glimpse of this life.  The LGBT movement in America has been championed as a virtuous and reputable alternative to heterosexual romance, but because of its underground and rebellious nature we know nothing of its true integrity.  I personally find it insulting that factions assuming this persuasion are demanding our public respect.  What is it about LGBT that demands respect?  In a crude and primitive analogy what is it about a woman who proclaims she chooses and prefers sex with another woman that makes her virtuous and worthy of support?  The majority of the male race would and should say, "Get in line."  Of course the woman form is appealing sexually to many, but because you step on the bandwagon doesn't mean you get to cut the line.  Again I suggest, "Get in line."  As a woman are you more virtuous and respectable seeking the affection of another woman?  This would mean in a blanket assessment lesbians consider themselves more deserving for female companionship than men.  Bluntly they are "men haters."  Believe me Cumberland County is filled with Nazi Lesbian Men Haters, and I should ask myself whence they come?  The logical answer is openly homosexual behavior in the United States military has something to do with it.  Whether you are lobbing a grenade, swabbing a deck, or seeking gay sexual satisfaction in your ranks, this now accepted behavior in all probability has lessened the integrity of our fighting forces.  It is an inappropriate distraction, opportunity, and personal choice which should be been kept separate.  Bill Clinton's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" really was not bad policy.  

The Chapter of "Loss" in Life

 It is a bit of a surprise to realize and begin to understand I am experiencing loss again.  It should not be surprising.  We have been surrounded by disease, death, and their ensuing loss for over two years.  In the newly adopted aesthetic of American media we have focused on the shock value of Covid 19.  Scaring the shit out of Americans is commonplace, and any semblance of logical contemplation and attempted understanding has been put by the wayside.  America no longer wants to preen intelligent, thoughtful, Christian citizens.  Instead our country covertly has adopted scare tactics reminiscent of Nazi Germany.  It has been the brazen voice and orange coif of Donald Trump who embraced and championed this extremism.  There could be no finer example of a blow hard in American history, and yet Mr. Orange, in his falsely proclaimed campaign to "Make America Great" has done nothing but assault America and her freedom.  Any viable and constructive tenant of American democracy has been undermined.  Sprinkle Covid over the top and you have a mash of the most insidious and inciting rhetoric in our lifetime.  What has been the purpose of this assault?  There is no more clear answer than "Ethnic Cleansing."  Listen to what Trump has said, and he told us how entitlements were bogging down the American economy.  "Let's get rid of old people.  Let's get rid of the prisoners.  Let's get rid of anyone who puts a strain on the flowing dollars to rich Republicans."  What Trump has forgotten is that we are a human race, and money does not just materialize.  For the extreme rich (of whom traditionally we thought of as virtuous in the evolution and development of America), they live is such a bubble that they have forgotten at a grass roots level of existence money still needs to be earned.  Evidently there is so much money flowing in their coffers, total elimination of the rest of the population isn't out of the question.  I would be bold enough to say that it is their plan, and it is called "Ethnic Cleansing."  It has happened many times, and we need to remember.  We need to remember an evil dictator in Germany rounded up harmless Jews and shipped them in cattle cars to gas chambers disguised as showers at Auschwitz.  The Holocaust was real, and it was a stones throw away from now.  Slobodan Milosevic accomplished the same thing in Bosnia, and the world with the help of the Dayton Accords instigated by Bill Clinton, tried and convicted him of war crimes at the International Tribunal at the Hague.  He died in prison.  As we live and breathe Vladimir Putin is slaughtering harmless Ukrainians.  I have strayed from my original thread, but scaring common folk has become the way of the American media.  The common folk who are old enough and intelligent enough to discern the difference between good and evil are few, and this is what is titillating my sense of loss.  My opening sentence to this blog entry was going to be, "I should be happy to have experienced loss before, because it will not be unfamiliar to me now."  This newer sense of loss has been elusive, and it is possible I have not allowed it to come to fruition.  Having recovered from severe loss your new mission statement becomes survival at all cost.  The deeply yearning and sorrowful shadow is as strong as before, but it has been replaced as the most necessary component of your emotional construct.  I will admit I have been in turmoil, because my creative and artistic voice has been quiet.  It has been quiet, because if I opened my Pandora's box of real emotion, it could be overwhelming.  Perhaps that is what has happened.  Reality has emerged, and it is sad.  What is this newly recognized reality?  First Covid 19 has dealt a heinous blow to humanity.  The death toll is great, and we have watched those around us die continuously since Covid's emergence.  To pause and consider the number of notable citizens who have succumbed to this disease is startling.  With their conspicuous absence a quick and hearty wave of capitalism has begun.  Fayetteville in particular, with her second largest military presence in all American cities, quickly has retooled available real estate.  This disease for the real estate market has been a tremendous boon, and the transformation of old Fayetteville into military Fayetteville is stark and upsetting.  Instead of recognizing and appreciating Fayetteville's existing infrastructure, developers are urgent to purchase and develop every available morsel of dirt, tree, and stream to fill their pockets.  We literally are watching Fayetteville disappear and get replaced with gingerbread housing sold quickly and opportunistically to landlocked military comrades.  It is an enticing bundle.  Hefty monthly housing stipends siphoned right back into the pockets of the local developers.  It is win win for them.  It is not for existing residents of Fayetteville.  With this influx of new military blood (and I am not discounting its viability), the history of Fayetteville is being lost.  It is not reasonable to compare the attributes of UNC educated professionals with grunt G.I.'s.  While the housing market and to a large extent the entire Fayetteville economy relies upon military dollars, malcontent, gung-ho, high school drop outs cannot replace Fayetteville heritage and culture.  They bring with themselves the limited education they have, and that means a severely limited ability to appreciate finer things.  Fayetteville always has been a dichotomy, but the historical foundations of Fayetteville are eroding.  The loss of this consciousness is the reality which has beset me.  I largely have ignored this change, and unconsciously have vowed to continue with my own interests unfettered.  As I look around and realize my own personal sentiments no longer are reinforced, it is a large pill to swallow.  Loss is nothing to laugh at, and it is tangible.  If you live the transient military lifestyle and are taught to be ambulatory and superficial, perhaps not growing roots is appropriate.  When you have planted roots, watching your community disappear is disheartening.  

American Planation Life

As a former educator with a degree in music education from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, completely I cannot discount the state of American youth.  I would not wish it upon anyone the school of hard knocks of which they have been a part.  It has been different than walking five miles to and from school.  It has been different than working three jobs.  It is different than being poor and wondering whence your next meal will come.  Instead today's youth have had to endure the most mind boggling misrepresentation of human reality in our lifetimes.  It is like waking up each day and being a part of the "Theater of the Absurd."  The internet has proven to be the most harmful culprit.  In human development and learning an unregulated forum for social interaction and commerce is not capable of schooling children.  As a connected database of information, the way the internet was conceived, it could be an invaluable tool for research and learning.  Social media in and of itself has allowed the decline of human consciousness.  It is like a slumber party gone awry replete with rogue stalkers, bullies, and now murderers.  The best example of harmful content are sex sites.  Because America is a free nation, and because freedom often is a volatile, contentious, and arguable subject, there is malleability.  Without proper education, instruction given in a legitimate forum based upon bona fide scholarly information, opinions, viewpoints, and philosophies can stray to the aberrant.  The human condition requires and demands roots, and most of these roots are found in religion and in the writings of Jesus' disciples in the Bible.  America all but has discarded God and much organized religion, and the results should not be surprising.  Navigate to Chaturbate.com, and you will find the modern equivalent of Sodom and Gomorrah.  Pornography is a tenant of American freedom, and as Larry Flynt often would retort you don't have to look.  You can chose to ignore certain available freedoms in America.  These freedoms, often controversial, are what made America who and what she is.  Unfortunately America has lost her way, and that is because older generations of influential Americans are dying off.  As I watch these people die, it becomes clearer and clearer truly we are losing what once was our America.  I don't much like what is taking her place.  (but that is a different blog entry)  What bothers me the most is a modern lack of taste, style, elegance, sophistication, and beauty.  This lack of taste transcends boundaries, and ultimately it has degraded and undermined human sexuality.  The internet is not capable of replacing the farm upon which human animals must learn and develop.  Using the internet as such a community is a mistake, and one only has to take a look around to understand why.  The basics of human survival and existence have become skewed.  Our youth don't know what ground zero is.  I would be bold enough to say that most human pleasures have been so soiled, manipulated, and subverted it is difficult to find traditional human behavior.  We have deprived our youth of the things they have needed to develop into functional human beings.  Is watching unadulterated porn on the internet a representation of God-given human sexuality?  The answer is no, and anyone can continue to masturbate while chatting on the computer if they like.  This is not healthy behavior, because it prepares you for nothing except hedonism.  In addition the shock value of aberrant, gross, and startling sexual activity is empty and ultimately devoid of value.  The value of sexuality is what is learned while mitigating a sexual relationship with a partner in the context of a mature, monogamous, and hopefully loving partnership.  These attributes return their value exponentially, and they do not make use of an artificial video platform.  They are realized extemporaneously, in the flesh, and in real time with another human being.  The problem with this scenario is the farm upon which the human animal is supposed to be living and learning is no more.  It has been replaced with the internet and more specifically social media.  Once upon a time not that long ago one had to venture out to the video store to find stimulation.  One had to frequent the movie theater or a skating rink or a coffee shop.  The result was human interaction of some kind, not concocted, manipulated, and often illicit activity which harms the human psyche.  We are at a low point in human history, and it is tragic and sad that we have forsaken our younger generation.  For human sexual development to occur, very basic requirements are necessary.  These basic requirements have become the antithesis of capitalist ideals.  No longer do we really consider the human entity and its emotional needs.  Simply we exploit as quickly and as quietly the monetary potential of our youth.  Instead of giving them what schools once provided, a neutral and nurturing environment in which to develop, we give them laptops.  Laptops feel nothing unlike children.  Until we remember the importance and substance of human feeling, we will continue to flounder.  The reason why our youth are confused about gender, is because they are deprived of the farm upon which they would learn their identity through trial and error.  The basic requirement human beings needs is a neutral stage upon which to play out their individual drama.  Upon closer scrutiny this neutral stage actually is freedom, something which no longer exists in America.  The freedom to think, feel, and act with impunity against any ruling or dictating governance has been revoked by corporate America, because corporate America has become our government.  We have been too weak as a populace to notice and understand the significance of this siege, and it has been implemented by what has become the Republican party.  The plantation owner still is demanding his slaves how many years later?  

A Sad State of Affairs for America

 I am in my second day of not taking extra strength anti-fungal medication thanks to Covid 19.  (Google invasive candidiasis and you will find increasing information on many underlying causes of death from this particular Coronavirus.)  I have had four shots, and I have had Covid three times.  Each time I treated the underlying infection, both bacterial and fungal, and each time I recovered until I got Covid again.  Covid is a nasty, ruthless, manufactured killer, and I would like to know its instigator.  It smells Republican, because they are underhanded, selfish, and fraternal.  If they can't win fairly on the playing, they will change the rules without your knowing or tilt the field.  If they can't win a presidential election, they will try to commandeer it with lies and hearsay.  The interesting thing is some democrats seems reluctant to prosecute Trump.  They would rather sweep him under the rug and tell more lies about what he did.  This is very Republican.  Knowing that Covid is a manufactured disease means someone is responsible for its presence.  Those responsible for its presence are guilty of mass genocide upon the human race.  Sweeping Covid under the rug like Donald Trump is not an option.  It will behoove the human race to know who their assailant is.  You cannot fight an egregious foe without knowing who you are fighting.  That is what infuriates me the most, knowing the perpetrators of Covid are flying around incognito in their personal jets scot-free.  I cringe at the idea that no protections have been provided me from this continued assault.  I have received four "vaccines," and I am convinced they are not vaccines at all.  Merely they are antidotes, and now Pfizer is providing this antidote in a simple pill.  I never have heard anything more fucked up.  If Satan has made his way to this earth in human form, it would be as the perpetrator of Covid 19.  Meanwhile America wants to sweep Donald Trump under the rug.  Rest assured this world as we know it will not persevere much longer, and it is predicted in the Book of Revelations in the Bible.  If you are one with God.  If you have accepted Christ as your savior whether you are living or dead, you will be taken from this stricken and dying earth and transported to a new planet.  Those who do not accept Christ will be left to perish in the flames of Hades.  It will not be an enjoyable or in any way applauded death.  It will be agonizing, and there will be no glory in it.  The idea that those choosing to sin on earth eventually will be with their compatriots in hell playing cards with the devil is insane.   Those who choose to be cavalier, maverick, extreme, and irresponsible for the sake of public election in history will be cast as the ultimate losers and jeered for eternity.  That America as a nation has allowed this seduction to occur, painting bad boys as heroes, began with reality television.  The Academy Awards this year were nothing more than a rerun of a vague unpopular Jerry Springer show.  Chris Rock and Will Smith should be ashamed.  Now it is common to watch notable Americans melt down in public with hair dye streaming down their cheeks.  A cold break with America's media is the only answer, and it becomes a lonely challenging prospect understanding what is around us.  We reap what we sow, and America has sewn nothing.  Instead we have chosen to rape and pillage our youth, and consequently American society is a giant abyss with no capable skydivers.  We will dwindle into dust as will this earth, and life will begin anew on a new planet of God's making.  What a sad state of affairs.  What a sad "Conditions of America."