On with the Show!

So what specifically can arrangers do in commercial notation that will help their players? The Norton Manual of Notation would be a good starting place. These are the specific suggestions I have that would ensure a good performance of a show. Production Shows on ships can be involved musically or not so involved. What I mean by that is they can utilize "tunes," or they can use full blown arrangements or copies of theater and orchestral works. Carnival Cruises uses both. They have direct lifts of many movie themes and classical favorites. Aaron Copeland would probably be turning over in his grave if he knew excerpts from his ballet Rodeo were in Carnival's Living in America. I always wondered whether they paid royalties or not. If they operate in "international" waters and the ships are flagshipped in Panama, my guess would be no. Likewise the Beatles and Michael Jackson might be miffed to know their music is being used daily including direct audio clips. That is not my concern. My concern is the formula for which to achieve a successful performance of a show both with pre-recorded tracks and a live orchestra. In school I learned how to write with track. It is easy. Put the "beat" on the track. Let their ALWAYS be a discernible pulse on the track, if it is going to be the musical anchor. Drum set would normally provide this role, but not on Carnival. The majority of their shows use the drummer as an effect. He splashes and washes and brushes, but rarely does he play a good groove. Drummers get comfortable playing behind the track, because they monitor it with a hot spot or with "cans." It isn't that difficult to listen to a studio recording and play slightly behind it. That is a crutch in my eyes. If the band gets comfortable playing behind the track, then it certainly will not sound good. Most ships use a ratio of track to live band that ideally ends up about 60/40. I have been on ships where the band actually sounded horrific. They are so isolated in a balcony, no one really knows what they are doing. It is a daunting task to say the least to play well. A click track is provided for the benefit of the band, but many times the recorded tracks are not in sync with it. You must learn when the click track is not accurate, and compensate for that live performance by playing ahead or behind. If the click track is accurate, then the job becomes easier. The approach for playing a Production Show can vary from ship to ship according to the sound engineer. If you know what he is doing, it is also easier. If you know before a performance he is going to run track, then mentally prepare for another musician being audible playing your role. This can be frustrating, but then again they continue to hire and pay Showbands. In this situation it is best to go through the written music with the track running and let your creativity be a guide. What would you normally play in this situation? Do you know the tune? If so try playing what you normally do. Many times I have found this works well. I have spent weeks going through a particular show writing my own parts. If I am stylistically correct, rarely do I get negative feedback. Usually the show becomes better because people recognize authentic styles of music. In certain situations this may not work. If the rhythmic feel has been drastically changed on the track, then you have to come up with your own rhythm through your instincts. I just listen to the track and my education tells me what to play. Then I write that in on the part. What I am forgetting is, eventually the band will have to reckon with the singers and dancers. Either they will be open and receptive to accurate and stylistically correct performances, or they will be adamant that the track is the only way to play the music. This usually happens when they are new or insecure about their own roles. If they don't feel comfortable about the "beat" or don't know the songs themselves, new material may be distracting to them. This is a huge downfall, because you could be wasting good musicians. Try to remember that the tracks are almost always sequenced, and that means there is little human feel in the rhythm section. On the majority of ships I have done, the piano track is almost completely sequenced. That means there was never a live keyboard player playing the part. You as a band member have many stumbling blocks. First the music is poorly copied, and often what you should play is not thought out. The arranger should have asked himself, "Will the musicians be playing live with the track?" If so he can write chord changes for the player to improvise with. This allows the musician the freedom to come up with a part of his own. If the goal is to not run the track, then exact notation is needed if these parts are wanted. Personally I don't see the point in writing an elaborate piano part that a machine plays, then expect a player to duplicate this live. When playing live there are many factors at play. The ship is moving. The orchestra pit is dark. The tracks can be deafeningly loud. The audience can be noisy. Other players in the band may not be playing their parts accurately. There are a myriad of things that make playing a simple part difficult. If the dancers get used to hearing the sequenced track, what is the point of having a live orchestra? It would be what I saw depicted on the Carnival website, a band that are merely mannequins. I'll never forget watching the video of Denny Brunk, a Carnival fly on entertainer. Denny was a good singer and a great jazz trombone player. When I heard the band on the video tape I could not believe how good it sounded. Oddly enough the band was sitting in the dark, stoic. No one was moving, yet the music sounded phenomenal. Then he sang Stardust and featured the piano player. It sounded like Bill Evans himself at the ivories. All during this time the band was dark, and I finally realized they were not playing. It was his track playing produced in a studio in LA or Vegas. I have yet to see a Showband performance yet that mimics a real live Broadway show, because the arrangers that are producing the tracks aren't providing a suitable product. The majority of the time the arranging is good, but the rhythm section parts and the rhythm section tracks are not up to a professional standard. In pop music I have discovered over time the lead vocal sells the song. The same is true in ship production shows. If there are soaring strings, voices, and French horns, then no one notices the groove. I have played shows with the track in one ear and the click in the other. It is grueling work. I prefer to study and learn the music and play it with the click the way I feel it. Why else would a cruise line hire me?

Showband Piano

First of all my spell checker always suggests a remedy for the single word Showband. Whereas the cruise industry uses this term to describe two different musical entities on its ships, it must be an improper noun. Show Band. It took me about three years to figure out what the term really means. When I first read it on a Carnival website promoting musician employment, I thought it looked silly. Pictures of the Showband looked silly, like a band that uses schtick rather than good musicianship. They were wearing pink, had Vegas style lights, and otherwise looked like a lounge lizard act. Yuck. Showband could, as in my case, depict a band that puts on a show. Little did I know the real meaning of the word is self explanatory. Showband is a word that describes the musical group that plays for the shows. They are like a pit orchestra that accompanies the production singers and dancers in the cruise industry's musical entertainment shows. After working for three different lines, I have found the shows vary greatly from ship to ship. On Princess the shows were numerous. Not only were there FOUR production shows that got performed regularly, there were also production singer cabarets and fly on entertainers. We played a lot in the band. It got usual to have a noon rehearsal every day in preparation for the show that was to follow that night. With no day off, ever, that kind of schedule can begin to wear on you. It is rare that piano parts are written legibly enough to be able to sight read them. Since the beginning this has been the case. The copy work for the Showband is the worst I have ever seen. Not to be negative, but if you indeed are expected to sight read parts quickly with little study and rehearsal time, then the parts must be written clearly. What does clearly mean? In terms of music notation, three years worth of doctoral course work in music composition suffices me to say. I learned eventually when you write music, the whole point is to try to make it a pleasing experience for your performers. Getting performances of pieces is difficult enough in the professional realm. Think of the orchestra circuit. When I graduated with a Masters degree in commercial music, there was a posting on the job notice board that said your chances of getting a conducting job was about half of one percent. Not much prospect for gainful employment there. Imagine trying to get an orchestra piece played. Who provides the time and money for a professional orchestra to rehearse and play your piece? It is a long road to Tipporary.... as the song goes. This road is similar to the road to success in commercial music. There is no tried and true method of achieving success in the music field. Pundits have recommended driving your shoes to New York or LA, camping there, and working for free to spread your cheer. Who does that anymore? After nine years of college I can think of nothing I would rather not do. How does one become a film composer? For some reason like cruise ship jobs, people have a notion about this. There is some kind of jive or hype involved. Why is this? It must be because there are billions of dollars involved in the music industry. All one has to do is look at ASCAP's annual newsletter that has their surveyed revenues listed. The first time I read it, I had to do a double take to remember the zeros had been left off to save space. ASCAP used to be the major organization that surveyed radio, television, and restaurants to collect royalties for musicians and composers. Those people in the know knew this was the way to make a living in the biz. How many jingles did it take? How many hit records. It seems that about five years is normal for a musician to live off of a hit record. Then they run out of money, unless you are OJ. If you read his portfolio during his murder trial, you saw a wise investment of monies. I don't know who his financial advisor was, but sign me up. You must invest you money to sustain it. I have written a handful of jingles and TV themes, and one day I think they will be discovered and used, after I am dead, posthumously. Mozart was published posthumously. So was Beethoven. People find unfinished works after they are dead and finish them themselves. They find previously unpublished works. As in the case of Miles Davis's son and nephew, they have found vaults of his old music where they just let the tapes run. Instinctively I have always somehow known that I would never make money from music, but it didn't stop me from creating it. It is what I enjoy doing, and I am good at it. I have a catalog of CD projects and written music that are better than most, but at age 43 hawking them from the trunk of an El Camino is not in my agenda. I want to be a success. I would like to have some of my music heard, but with the Capitalist economic system in the US, I have never felt it would happen. Somehow my instincts have told me, because I don't really believe in this system. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That is what I see. Now the United States is falling apart. On top of that our market is not really free. It is called a free market, and that definition does apply in some ways. The free market is an example of our current government. There is an ideal of that system, and there is reality. The reality is the rich come and take what they want. They sneer at you, they intimidate you, and they make you think they deserve what they are taking. It has nothing to do with knowledge, wisdom, or hard work. Our government and our country can function, but our fundamental philosophy has been defamed. The intents of the founding fathers have been replaced with an agenda of another regime, the one that is in power at the moment. As the American people have experienced, it has nothing to do with us. With gas prices at $3.00 a gallon, oil reserves mysteriously appearing and disappearing, and weapons of mass destruction doing the same thing our system is not ours anymore. Many say the American people deserve it, because over half of us did not vote for the candidates they believed were right for the job. On top of that there was this funny business at the polls in sunny la Florida, Jeb Bush's home state. Later it emerged that another foreign business was selling us voting machines and tallying the votes in our national elections. Can it get any worse? After a while you just give up, because the shite is too deep to even care about. Back to music notation. Music notation can be compared to our laws. It is meant to take care of the musician. It is meant to guide the musician in a clear and meaningful way in the actualization of a piece of music. It is not meant to confuse the player. It is not meant to elevate itself for selfish gain. It is not meant to inhibit or oppress the musician. It simply is a guide for a good performance of what hopes to be art. This is the way we should look at our laws. They should not be made in some hypothetical chamber by hypocritical icons. They should be made to protect and serve the American people about real things. The problem is in the last few years everyone has lost sight of what is real. Democrats and Republicans have drifted to such extreme positions no one would even know they are still human beings. What do human beings do? They work. They would like to have adequate work, so they can provide for their families and themselves. They would like to have a pleasant work environment. They would like to have benefits from work such as health care. Should the burden of retirement and health care be placed on a private business. I think not. Socialized medicine is the only answer. This task becomes, how will our federal government invent a system that disassembles a private system that makes the rich rich? This is the reason Hillary did not succeed in her quest for national health care coverage. The idea is right, but you need a methodic plan, a newly-devised constitution for this new system. This issue is exactly what I wrote about earlier. Our leaders must possess this ability of new thought. Only to follow the laws in existence is to let our country stagnate. How are we to evolve as a country if our leaders can not do this? This is why the conservative right wing faction must be relieved of their power to allow a new breath of air, an air of hope for the future. Our system is failing. For things to change there must be a philosophy iin place of what Americans want and need. Whether it be clean air, clean water, a safe homeland, ample employment, culture, or safe religion, there used to be an American Dream.

Begrudged Judges

If lawyers simply wanted only to litigate, it seems they should stay lawyers. Aspirations for a judgeship you would think carry notions of a higher stature. Ethics, morality, philosophy, and leadership all come to mind. These things don't come to mind when thinking about attorneys. In fact there have been many a joke about lawyers at the bottom of the ocean. In many foreign countries attorneys are in the minority in government, because they believe it does not take a lawyer to be a leader. As many of our Supreme Court Justices have stated, "We decide based on the existing laws." That doesn't seem so difficult, looking up a precedent in a law library rather than actually thinking about a situation. Leaders on the other hand must have the intellectual capability to accommodate new issues and find possible solutions based on things other than the law. If they did only that then they would be only lawyers, not leaders. Leaders do more. To lead is to have a philosophy, an education, and personal experiences that mold a point of view. For the educators at hand, schooling is teaching a set of rules to keep people from making mistakes. Education is experiencing something, so you learn from your mistakes. I have learned throughout life there is no one you can listen to other than yourself. Anytime anyone has attempted to give me advice, it has always been the wrong solution. Leaders who attempt to dictate and legislate based on a hypothetical set of rules, the law, miss the point all together. People forget that the laws were made for us. They are meant to protect and support our people as a nation. They are not meant to be a vague and distant doctrine that a group of religious/right politicians deem appropriate for the American people. Every time I hear Bill O'Reilly talk on television, he reminds me of this kind of person, a soap box shouter, a disconnected yet passionate keeper of that faith with no real life. What is his philosophy? What does he really believe in? To know these things is to have lived a real life, not a privileged, spoon fed, trust-allotted masquerade. Are people that suffer and want more real than those who don't? I believe so. If you have been given life on a silver platter, of what consequence is it to you? If you have wanted for life, then it means something to you. It is time for these political types to be voted out of office with hopes of replacing them with real leaders, people who have something at stake other than making a buck from the law.

Judge Ye Not

It seems unclear to the American people what a judge really does, or so says one Supreme Court Justice. To me the function of a judge is clear. Most people probably think a judge is a highly intelligent and educated lawyer who can listen, determine, and legislate wisdom in many situations in life that need mediation. Not so says this justice. Judges are clear in their message, as represented by Judge Alito in his confirmation hearings, that they are simply litigators that have been elected or appointed to oversee court proceedings. They, in conjunction with an "impartial" jury of your peers, decide according to our laws the outcome of a dispute. Disputes can vary widely in nature. They can be criminal proceedings. They can be civil disputes. These judges can and also should determine the constitutionality of our laws. That right is being threatened says ex-justice Sandra Day O'Conner. Not only is their function being disputed, but also their lives are being threatened. It seems our U.S. Congress and some states are strong-arming the Supreme Court into supporting their agendas. If they pass down rulings that disagree with the current regime in our federal government, then the justices face repercussions. Some states have even suggested jail terms for judges that fail to produce a "fair" outcome. Judges are afraid maybe for the first time ever in the United States. With the omni-present threat of Al Kaida, the nation as a whole probably is experiencing a similar fear that makes the quality of life in the "free" United States of America seem not-so-free. It is a difficult issue. While gut-wrenching social and civil events give America her soul, how long should people cling to these notions of strife and oppression? African Americans have been carrying the torch of slavery for decades. Certainly the words and deeds of Malcolm X and Martin Luther King are a part of the soul of our country. Likewise the mass sacrifices of human life in the Civil War should be part of our soul. In the case of 9/11 how long should Americans bristle at the thought of Arab extremists carrying out terrorist acts? Certainly that has become part of our soul also, but we as a country are struggling with how to accommodate that uncertain future and an unsavory recent past. We should be angry as a nation at an assault on our hard-working people on our native soil, yet it was inevitable that would finally happen. Pearl Harbor, a Japanese attack on our state of Hawaii marking the beginning of World War ll, was probably distant to some because it occurred in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Is it easier to accommodate a terrorist attack by a disgruntled American extremist over a well-funded Arab one? I think is it difficult to discern a difference between one selfish, vengeful, murderous act and another. What matter is it of the reason? Innocent Americans die on their native soil. It is of no consequence that Allah, Jody Foster, or world domination are the motivation. We must just accept that war in our current sphere of existence is no longer traditional in a sense that we know exactly what it is. It is dark, murky, and elusive like a Sony Playstation game. It seems more evil this way because boundaries are not clearly visible. Knowing your enemy has become more difficult in the route to victory. The president of Pakistan on Charlie Rose outlined the process of solving some of our problems. He suggested understanding 'core' issues was critical. Simply in the case of the War on Terror, alienated, educated, Arab men are angry at the infidels for invading their homeland. It seems they will not be happy until we are gone. In terms of the war raging in our government, how should we respond to this assault on our sensibilities? When the line becomes blurred in our own system of government, and good and evil are not being upheld in our federal government, how are we to proceed? When the system of "Checks and Balances" is being intimidated much like the everyday people in America, how do we mend it? Voting in the November election seems key. Ousting the parties that are responsible for such acts is crucial to our survival as a healthy nation. No longer can we stand the pressures of a corrupt and dishonest government with no regard for the American people. We have been failed by our own system, and it is taking a toll on our health.

How "Digital" Has Destroyed Music

The beginning of it all was when Sony came out with Dolby Digital sound in the movie theaters. It was a worthy prospect. Abandoning analog sound technology certainly would make things easier for the production studios. Imagine carrying around a whole movie score on a portable hard drive. It began with Apple's Quicktime software. For the first time film composers, with the right equipment, could import a film into the digital domain, i.e. as a Quicktime file, and sync that to their music production software. When they played the MPEG file in a little TV-like window on their Mac, it would sync to their sequencing program. What is a sequencer? A sequencer is an indispensable piece of computer software that allows musicians to record digital MIDI data into a recorder-like interface. Basically that means you can play music on a keyboard or drum pads that transmit MIDI data to the computer in real time. You set up a time signature with a click and play the music. Then it is digitally recorded as data, not sound. In an editing window you can fix the wrong notes, timing or performance errors, and add expression such as dynamics or phrasing. Good composers play the music live. In essence the Macintosh became a glorified recording studio. As time went on engineers refined the software. As hard drives sped up and became more efficient, and analog to digital converters became less expensive, they created an interface that allowed you to record "live" sound to the hard disk in sync with MIDI data. That way keyboard sounds and digital drum samples could play in real time with the recorded audio. Every time the sequencer played, the sound quality was first generation. Eventually you would mix the composite recording to a mastering recording deck, such as DAT or analog reel to reel. MIDI was the real beginning of digital music. Musical Instrument Digital Interface basically took the notes you played on a keyboard and turned them into digital controllers, so you could also trigger other keyboards or modules. Huge layered sounds were now possible when playing live. Live bands picked up on this quickly, and MIDI rigs became crucial to the success of live musical acts. Keyboard magazine documented many of the "rigs" musicians were designing and playing on their gigs. For the first time a production oriented sound was available live. Keyboard players in bands could conceivably be virtual orchestras playing string samples, horn solos, and bass lines. Down the line the Hip/Hop faction utilized this with their Akai MC series drum controller. They played the "beats" live on rubber pads giving the music a "groovy" feel along with a unique sound. The Hip/Hop sound became a low, analog bass sound with a high, "chinky" high hat from a synthesized drum kit. In their world "Lo-Fi" became "Hi-Fi." This early gritty sound had character because of its primitive technology. Low resolution and bit rate and grainy filters provided a very analog-like sound that was appealing to many. As digital technology progressed, resolutions and bit rates became higher smoothing out the sound. Eventually "virtual instrument plug-ins," software digital representations of analog instrument, became available for use in sequencers. Imagine again abandoning your home studio made of heavy, steel, MIDI tone modules for the convenience of instruments that live on your hard drive. Sounds good, huh? The problem I see with all of this convenience is, when your whole studio begins to reside in a box, from where will your inspiration come? All of this digitization has had a lasting effect on the music industry. When one-man studios can hawk their inexpensive production techniques, music becomes secondary. Hype has taken over much like the TV show American Idol, and media tries to sell their cut rate product by aggressive marketing techniques. Television right now is the epitome of this flawed philosophy. Superficial, shock-effect, immediate gratification pitching has marred the communications industry. A once well respected and honorable form of news and entertainment has fallen from grace. Specifically how has this effected music? I have one answer. The digital domain has become high resolution. HDTV, plasma displays, and other gimmicks have flooded the market. The soul, artistry, integrity, or "analog" of the PRODUCT has been lost. Without this all the technological advancement in the world will not mean anything. When sequencers first became available to musicians, they were analog. Oberheim and Moog both offered analog sequencing devices that recorded musical events. The resolution of these devices was low. That meant the "timing" of the music was loose and felt human. As digital sequencers developed, new beat plug-ins became available that quantized MIDI events in various ways to simulate live performance. Engineers got "jiggy" and began marketing different rhythmic plug ins that effected the music. No longer did a live band have to generate a "groove" or "feel" in the studio to define a particular style of music. These plug ins attempted to recreate the human feels of musicians in the digital domain. In certain ways these "beats" have been helpful in the evolution of electronic music. Genre's such as Trance, House, and Acid Jazz may not have existed at all if it hadn't been for these tools. Taken out of perspective and put into the hands of a corporation, these short cuts in music production seem to have eliminated the musicians themselves. Once bands had to travel and record for months to develop their music into a product worthy of consumption. Now music in media has been reduced to shallow, trite, and disposable product. One bad example of the utilization of this technology for corporate gain is in the cruise ship industry. Showbands on various cruise ships are supposed to play live music for their production shows. Because musicians of this caliber are not readily available, cruise lines require the arranger of the show to provide a recorded sound track that acts as a security blanket for the ship. If and when the hired Showband can not play the show, the tracks can be played for a successful experience. On most ships they end up running these tracks all the time, because they include instruments that are not available in the live orchestra. A string section, french horns, backing vocals, and ethnic instruments are often added to a mix of a live band. Unfortunately this soundtrack is generated by a computer sequencer like the one I have been describing. When a composer does not have the time or resources to hire live players, they often generate a MIDI sequence from their notation program. They will arrange the music in a program such as Finale or Sibelius and export a MIDI file to Digital Performer or Logic. The result is a Casio Drum machine-sounding file that sounds like a machine. There is no human quality or expression in the performance of the music. Over time and because of necessity, arrangers have continued to do this forcing their live musicians to create a new "style" of music to play with the track. This strictly quantized feel has become the norm for cruise ship Showbands. For some reasons it seems many corporate executives took a fancy to this kind of music. Gloria Estefan used a sequencer like this in her song "Conga," and it had an appealing result. Whereas certain styles of commercial music can make use this quantized feel, American jazz for one can not. Many styles of music including European orchestra and chamber music do not use strictly quantized quarter notes. Early in academic music school fledgling musicians are taught to play slightly ahead of the pulse to give music a forward momentum. This positive and energetic feel is what creates true excitement. In other styles such as Rhythm and Blues, musicians are taught to lay slightly behind the beat to create musical tension. It is very simple to define a transcendent feel in music. Rarely in any kind of performed music do all the players play in strict metronomic rhythm. There is give and take in phrases, and this is what lets the music breathe. The best conductors are experts at interpreting like this. They spend countless hours rehearsing groups to achieve this kind of musicality. No where anywhere is it written, "All musicians should play exactly together like a machine." For cruise lines to allow this poor level of product from their arrangers is heinous. The neurosis that is created by hiring competent musicians, and then asking them to play like a machine is absurd. Only if the respective Musical Director is keen enough to remember the difference between "real" music performance and ship music will the band be able to transcend those musical barriers. The definition of a "pocket" in music feel is when a drummer or piano player can play slightly ahead of the beat with one extremity and slightly behind with the other. Earoll Garner did this first on the piano on his recording Concert By the Sea. In the jazz idiom a trap drummer will play ahead of the beat on the ride cymbal while playing behind the beat with his high hat. This creates a "pocket" or space for the music to breathe. In jazz the music swings over the top of slightly pushed ahead bass notes using a triplet sub-division. Only on ships are musicians brain-washed to think the dotted eighth sixteenth rhythm will substitute. Likewise the ebullient movement of only eighth notes undulating around this forward pushing beat can provide the traditional jazz feel most aficionados appreciate. To sub-divide every style of music into sixteenth notes or higher defeats the purpose of the music itself. It has only been with the development of the software digital sequencer that this high resolution has confused and tarnished what once was a human aesthetic.

Glam-or-ama

I am turned off when I turn on the television. I can barely tolerate listening to any of the commentators except those on Monday Night Football. There I hear voices naturally that sound American and excited about something that seems to be valuable to citizens. In Will Ferrell's recent movie Taledega Nights, Nascar like football seems to bridge a chasm in American culture. They are roots. What are the others? Baseball is supposedly our "national pastime." What other things are meaningful to Americans? Hot dogs? Ice Cream? Coco-Cola? Bubble gum? These things are parodied in Cold War era movies about Russia. Russians attempt to defect their own country finding a border house filled with these amenities. Does America really stand for these things, or do these things stand for America? I thought it was freedom, but freedom from what? Religious tyranny? That seems to be what we are taught to believe. Was it to escape the Holy Roman Catholic church? Are the British predominantly Catholic? All of this supposition about the Holy War that is occurring today seems to be prefaced by other movements that used religion as a facade. That is doing things in the name of religion. Therefore we have a fairly common history of justifying our wants under the guise of religion. Think of the hypocrisy of these so called puritan religions active in the United States. One polygamist was on the top ten list of most wanted by the FBI. I think we need to stop calling Arab terrorists "Extreme Muslims" and call them what they really are. Terrorists. Using the mainly peaceful religion of Islam to justify anger over America, the infidel's, defense of Kuwait is misleading. The same is true calling POW's "detainees." The "War on Terror" is new to the US, but war is not. Should we have rethought and rewritten American military strategy as Mr. Rumsfeld did to accommodate a "new" enemy? In the early stages of the war this proved to be successful in our imperialistic coup d'etat of Saddam Hussein, but was destroying a country worth the cost? Was igniting and fueling an all ready existent holy war worth the unfounded threat of possessing "Weapons of Mass Destruction." Over time we discovered as a country we were gullible after 9/11, and we, a great super power, were duped by a self-righteous, propagandist dictator. Because maniacal Arab men commit grievous acts in the name of their God, Allah, does not mean we should assume all practicing that religion are evil. As Ralph Reid erroneously invoked Christianity as a political movement, we know from history that religious fanaticism in government fails. That was the basis for the American ideology of separation of church and state. It doesn't mean we should have removed the representations of the moral and ethical values of religion from our schools and work places. What religion was Great Britain that caused rebellious citizens to sail thousands of miles over the Atlantic in pursuit of a freer land? I thought it was to escape a constitutional monarchy and acquire freedom from economic oppression. What are these Puritan roots? The Quakers? The Amish? The Mormons? Or was it the Free Masons? There was a special on the History channel on Free Masonry. Many of our notable founding fathers were Free Masons. They had Masonic temples, and those represented power and knowledge at a grass roots level. Masons are simply stone smiths that manipulate rock and mortar. That seems pretty down to earth to me. Why the need for an organization, and one that seems to be secretive, for such an activity? Was it really just an exclusive men's club? That emblem on the back of the dollar bill is a Masonic pyramid, not a tip-of-the-hat to the devil. The "all seeing" eye as it were. I have no problem with this, other than if it was meant to be exclusive. Were Free Masons biggots? I think freedom is the general reason why people immigrate to the United States. We all want freedom. Larry Flint braved the way exercising the freedoms guaranteed by our constitution. Some are freedom of expression and the pursuit of happiness. "That's a woman's vagina. Photograph it," and he stood up for his freedoms and won in the Supreme Court. Hurrah! The "Rebel Without a Cause" and "The Easy Rider." It used to be you could be a hippie. You could hang out, take drugs, and chant, "Free love." All during the 70's the middle class was snorting coke, having group sex, and dancing all night at Studio 54. "Drugs are bad, 'kay." The hair bands of the 80's fell into despair, rehab, and OD... overdose. Self-destructive behavior is troublesome, but at least it makes you feel alive. When you are testing your body, you feel something in return, until you drop to the bottom. Then things change. I drink because it makes me feel good, most of the time. Most of the time I don't feel like myself. I feel like that image that is being projected on TV, glamorized, de-sensitized, sanitized, and homogenized. Other days I feel that never ending Arabic influence. For the first time, probably like the cultish recruiting and indoctrination of Al Kaida's members, I am beginning to wonder if this foreign existence somehow has relevance to the United States. I feel like we don't have an American soul. Does that mean that the terrorists are winning with their propaganda, or does their fundamental dogma have credence? After removing the insane and murderous behavior that seems to effect many sects in Arabia and Africa, is their political agenda evil? Our boy band rock and dirty pop culture won't give us an ounce of soul, because there is none without religion. There is no "Message in a Bottle" except buy, buy, buy. Conversely musicians such as Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison had convictions in their music. It was representative of something more. Life has to happen first like it seemed to in the 1950's. What has changed? Television back then was based on reality... what happened in everyday households. Is Reality TV today representing what is real in America? If so it is a poor metaphor to the rest of the world. If we don't want the negative criticism of such extreme religious groups, then maybe we should discard some of the hypocrisies of American Capitalism. "You're fired, yourself. Go eat slugs. Jump off a cliff." It seemed then there were moral family values. From where did they come? The Church. Running for office behind the facade of religious conviction, but abandoning those convictions governing the country is hypocrisy. Leave it to the Beaver, or Ward, or Andy Griffith to teach Opie what was right and wrong. We don't see that much on TV anymore or in the government. The Bradys or the Partridge Family aren't struggling to rear a family. Instead we have oil barons, lesbians, cartoons, single parents, and a myriad of cops, detectives, and crime scene investigators. Seems one of them gators never got Steve Irwin. An evil stingray did. Well, they aren't called "sting" rays for nothing. I wonder if Steve would have lived if he had left the barb in his heart to plug the hole and cut the ray's tail. Sad, losing your tail or losing your life? Who are these guys yelling at me on TV?. "Go home and yell at your dog." I wonder how having a speech impediment enables you to become a news commentator. How about a little of the King's English? I always like speaking the Episcopal Communion Service Rite 1 in "Jesse speak," like a black man would say it. Like American jazz that rhythm gives feeling to the words. Those slaves out in the fields knew what feeling was. They knew what suffering was, so when they had something, they appreciated it. When you go without for a while, it does that do you. It makes you appreciate life when it is good. I say, "Get rid of the glam." I am sick of seeing plastered down hair and glossed over bumps and wrinkles. Do they really want to look like a characters in an animated film? A Barbie doll, stiff, unfeeling and uptight? A cool conservative right winger? What happened to Grunge, flannel, baggie jeans, and droopy hats? What happened to being earthy and comfortable and real? It is hard to watch to a newscaster who looks like Barbie. I'm sorry. "Shall we play dress up? Here's your pocket book. Go out for a stroll on Rodeo Drive." If they looked like tarts or sluts I would understand more. How about a little European TV, topless commentators, and tits and ass? It's because we really have morphed into metrosexuals, metrosexual meaning a blending of the sexes into beings that are androgynous and professional. I see it in everyday life. Women acting like men. Men acting like women. Confusion of identity. What is the problem with acknowledging our heterosexuality? We are TWO separate genders, and that is the beauty of it. There are womanly attributes and manly attributes. Which don't you understand, other than they are not really being depicted on American television? God said Adam was the head of the household, and I believe it. In all my relationships I have worn the pants, and I have yet to know a woman that knew more than I did. What makes it good for me is desire. D-E-S-I-R-E. Sex isn't good unless there is personal desire. If you want something, like that apple in the Garden of Eden, then it tastes better. Too bad about the consequences. Are we going to go to hell for desiring? I don't think so. I think it drives us. At the age of 43, when you enter middle age and begin to mellow out, it can be difficult to maintain focus in your life. When you are young, dumb, and full o' cum, there are hormones driving the boat. Testosterone is pumping. Endorphins are flowing. Animal desires. Survival of the fittest. Leader of the pack. When you get older, those things subside and you get a little more comfortable with status quo. But, if you don't assert your desires, goals, and aspirations who will? How will you define yourself? Without goals, we are nothing. I have to remind myself that the humility I have assumed, the unassertiveness that feels polite, will get me nowhere or nothing. It is okay to want. If you don't want, then we just exist in a space where life will absorb you into its commercial, capitalist, superficial metrosexuality. It is easier to control a docile flock than one that is educated and enlightened. Is this why our public schools have such little value to our current political regime? If television is useless propaganda and the schools are failing, then who is educating our youth? Is it single parents? Violent video games? The internet? Cell phones? MP3 players? All of this pop culture is teaching them nothing but how to be isolated. This chaos in American society will not end until we are out of Iraq. There is only one logical conclusion to it all. Until the "infidels" leave the Arab world there will be bloody anarchy and raged terror on the United States. If it means giving up a hidden agenda, then the decision must be made as to who is more important. Is it the American people and their culture and life style or the people of Iraq? If president Bush would take even a few minutes of a speech to acknowledge the needs of the American people rather than Iraqis, then I might somehow believe he was our president.