A Transient's Life

Recently I was contacted by the hiring agent of my cruise line with only two days notice until a "fill" spot for orchestra piano opened.  Being a veteran of the cruise industry instinctively I knew something was amiss.  Living on the east coast of the United States in rather close proximity to the state of Florida, it was more feasible to embark upon such a challenge.  Once before when a pianist was needed in the Port of Canaveral I opted to show up with two days notice to the extreme surprise of the Musical Director and the band.    
Always the company is appreciative of these efforts, and often short term fills can be more fun than a dedicated six month contract.  I decided to offer this favor again for several reasons.  One is I could do it, prepare, pack, and fly with only two days notice.  It was a challenge.  Secondly for three weeks worth of work I would make some money.  Third I needed a break from the brutal winter weather in North Carolina.  I flew on Saturday morning to embark the Oasis of the Seas that afternoon.  Begun was the most intensive music work I had done since the Rhapsody of the Seas located in Australia.  I found out upon embarking this vessel Australia's music scene was quite different the ours.  The Sydney Opera House had something to do with this.  It turned out Australia loves their opera, and the acts we played were remnants of this Sydney Opera scene.  The cruises also were more varied in length straying from the usual seven day affair which really is nothing more than a scene our of the film "Groundhog Day."  On the contrary often I had three separate sets of music in my cabin at one time for an eleven or twenty-one day cruise.  It was the most demanding musical work I ever had done.  My sight-reading improved dramatically through rote, my technique diversified from jazz to classical, and I found more fulfillment musically from this demanding music.  There was no Motown, the fodder America seems to demand.  I'm not sure guests especially want Motown music for their entertainment, but certainly Barry Gordy would be happy.  I was burnt out on the repeating acts playing the same tried and true set of songs.  Not only did I have to play virtuosos pianists, violinists, and vocalists, also I was required to launch an end of cruise cabaret.  The Cruise Director decided to accommodate the desires of our production singers and schedule a Broadway themed hour long show.  The Musical Director adamantly refused to have anything to do with this charade, so I became required to satisfy the accompaniment for this show.  While they were quite content to use only the piano for this intense and intimate music, I decided if I had to perform so did others in the orchestra.  I began my two month long process of preparing the music.  I took many hours to launch this show from scratch, and being a doctoral level composer I possessed the necessary tools to accomplish such a thing.  It is all about the music preparation, something that seems incomprehensible to anyone but an instrumentalist.  Often the dynamic in our theaters was one of, "Why do you need written music?  "Can't you just play the music instinctually, like pulling it out of your ass?"  Often this was implied because of the lack of rehearsal time we had in the theater.  On the Oasis this occurred again.  My first act, possibly because I had played his show before, expected me to play his music perfectly the FIRST time with no preparation whatsoever.  I was not afforded rehearsal time at all.  None.  I was chastised because the necessary patches in the keyboard had not been programmed ahead of time, not recognizing I had signed on the ship three days earlier.  It took a lot to zip my lips and not respond to the fight that was being picked with me.  Instead I did what I always do as a professional.  I spent the necessary hours AFTER the rehearsal to prepare my music.  This is a combination of writing a playlist of the songs we were to perform in the proper order for visual reference.  This also is the proper arrangement of the pages in a single song to allow for effective page turns with no musical upset. This also is preparation of the keyboard sounds and their sequential programming as to be able to access them when necessary and at the appropriate time.  I did all of this AFTER our band rehearsal and before our first performance.  Often this means no dinner or break before the show.  Even as I succeeded at nailing the show, the powers at be diligently seemed to be hoping for my failure.  After all a twenty year old show possibly had lost some of its spark, and drama on stage resulting from flailing musicians is more entertaining.  This has come to be the case in general on ships.  Music no longer holds the place it once did for America, and possibly as it shouldn't.  The music industry is a pale shadow of the integrity it once heralded.  Often musical shows are nothing more than cheap self gratification as evidenced by act after act lip syncing to pre-recorded tracks.  Although I do not agree with this new found musical philosophy I was forced to accommodate it for the sake of my job.  This is one reason why I continued to work hard on my music as not to be humiliated on stage for the enjoyment of the public.  It happened anyway time and time again, until my soul told me I no longer could handle it.  I could not be a complete musical whore, even if no one reprimanded my musical performance.  What transpired was those in charge did not possess the knowledge, experience, or skill to make a value judgement about the quality of the music.  They were not capable, because they did not themselves posses the musical talent necessary to provide music at a professional level.  When this occurs you must make a value judgement as to the worth of your skills.  Are they worth being wasted for money, or do they deserve to be utilized in the way they were intended?  Luckily my three weeks on the Oasis reinforced the latter.  It was a musically heavy gig, and my skills were the appropriate method for achieving success on this particular vessel.  I had to play yet another Broadway cabaret for which I had to prepare in a similar way to the Rhapsody.  I just did not have as much time.  It also is significant that a single cabin on the world's largest cruise ship contributed greatly to my ability to be able to realize this music.  I had a space of study.  What is unnerving is the transient nature of this work.  Unlike most other jobs in America, cruise ship employees live out of the box.  There are good things and bad, but one downside is the instability of the social environment.  While there can be stability if you stay on one ship for a long period of time, if you change ships frequently as I do, each time you walk away you leave the social environment that provided comfort and support for your human psyche.  After a decade of this work, I have come to the conclusion that this is too difficult.  There does come a point when one begins to need stability and support from outside himself.  I have been fruitful in providing my own sustenance for many years.  Ironically the environment to which I return now is in great decay.  There is death all around me.  There is illness all around me.  Everything that has been in my life since my birth seems to be evaporating at the same time.  It is tragic and sad, and I was not prepared for such an emotional burden, again.  How can one speck of dust evoke change for a support system that is dying?  I do not believe it is possible.  I believe that changing one's environment is the only choice.  The alternative is to bury your head in the sand and ignore the things happening around you.  That is not possible either, because living in an artificially produced vacuum is detrimental to one's mental health.  Eventually reality will make itself known, often in a brutal way.  It is better to deal with it like a Republican.  "Plan your work, and work your plan."  I do not have all the answers yet.  In fact I have none.  I try to make it through each day one day at a time trying to achieve a personal goal on a small level related to my musical future.  It has absolutely nothing to do with my current environment, and that is unsettling.  There is no going home.