The Invisible Devil that Should be Gone

I have been preaching relentlessly about the ills of the rail industry since I discovered them.  Having been a model railroader since my youth, the novelty of trains always has been intriguing.  Although few of my handmade layouts ever functioned well, I persisted in building them until I could not take it any longer.  The best running layouts were an .027 mammoth in our attic on McGougan Road, and a small HO empire in our garage on Westchester Drive.  On these two pikes at least the engines ran.  Electrical continuity made its way from the electrified track to the contacts on the wheels of the model locomotives.  The trains actually ran.  When I switched to the "better " nickel silver flex track, they stopped running reliably.  They would hesitate, lurch, and falter.  After scenicking my last HO layout in that Westchester garage, I tore it down with one fell swoop of the axe.  I couldn't take it that all of that work yielded failure.  The track was coated with some black wet oxidant preventing the electricity from flowing to the wheels of the locomotives.  The trains ran like shit.  The mountainous scenery was something to behold, but with the trains not running it was ridiculous.  This was not the last railroad I built.  My last still sits on its side upright in the same garage.  It ran.  I was determined.  I did use the same kind of track, but I purchased new engines with clean wheels.  In the process my father and I had taken the locomotives back to Hayes Hobby shop.  Gentry Hayes attempted to clean the oxidation off of the wheels in vain.  Even a Dremel mototool with a grinding attachment couldn't loosen this evil substance.  I never knew what caused this failure of fun.  Only decades later working in the same garage did I realize that pollutants from the environment are rampant.  In this area of North Carolina pollutants are rife.  They have gotten worse over the years.  After coming back from abroad for twelve years, it has taken two long years to come to terms with this pollution.  Not only do I have allergies I never have had before, each and every day seems like a battle against the elements.  As a wearer of gas permeable hard contact lenses, life can be a challenge.  Add pine pollen to the list of irritants and suddenly life becomes an epic struggle.  There is one other struggle that occurs daily that should not.  We American people have enough worries.  With the "economic crisis" America finally has become a third world country.  It was inevitable.  Without someone looking after her with moral and ethical integrity, the once great nation of America almost overnight has slid into darkness.  Unguided, unled, and unfed our difficult history has returned with a vengeance.  The list is so inane.  Video games.  Television.  Music.  At one time in our history when Ms. Pack Man, Crazy Climber, and Galaxian drew the nation together in amusement, now we have become a disparate band of rogue outlaws.  One only has to turn on the television set to see its newly conceived agenda.  The programming is so far extreme right it almost is unfathomable.  Without spending millions of dollars researching the programming, only can one say that what is being broadcast on television is not good for the American way.  It is extreme.  Easily we can assign that term to radical Islamist terrorists.  Easily we can assign it to today's television programming.  Easily we can assign it to today's video games.  Music no longer matters, but it still is there confusing the populace like seventy virgins.  With all of this distraction there is one other element that in my opinion is complicating life in America.  Unlike our extreme corporate-produced mass media, this element effects us at an even more intimate level.  In certain ways it defies explanation.  To this day and since I have been raging a war against this pollutant, nary has there been even one news article about its ill effects.  It is because the railroads built America.  Necessarily they deserve a certain amount of respect in the annals of American history.  It is when these institutions with the help of newly developing electrical technology become dangerous that a line must be drawn.  No explanations have been rendered for the numerous mass shootings that have occurred in America other than a probable connection with medications.  If there were another element, an antagonist, a culprit that more directly could effect the human mind then the indecision could be lifted.  What is causing America this undue grief?  After being sick with the flu for four days straight and battling those horrific symptoms, again it has become apparent to me that in addition to our daily challenges the American people have been beset with an unfair foe.  I have been battling it head to head from my bedroom, since this is where I have been resigned. To describe "it" is difficult.  Probably it has not been described in words before.  The effects of infrasound have, but the actual entity itself has not.  In this case it is more than just a low frequency sound wave.  I may be unique, because I have a small amount of hearing loss in my left ear.  Probably this came from playing keyboards sitting in front of a drum set on the Carnival Conquest.  As many military veterans know hearing loss occurs as tinnitus.  As many people do not know, and the well established medical community in America will deny tinnitus is created by infrasound.  When there is a low frequency sound wave present the spectrum of hearing loss rings with tinnitus.  This is how I know when such a phenomenon is present.  I can predict an jet or diesel locomotive before anyone actually can hear it, because my left ear begins to ring.  It took me quite a few years to discover this trick.  Upon moving back to Fayetteville, North Carolina it has been quite upsetting that this occurs a majority of the time, because of the mainline of CSX-T.  Several expensive rail studies have been commissioned by our local government, and all of them have been ignored.  It was discovered twenty-eight freight trains travel through downtown Fayetteville every day. We had almost the same amount, when I lived near this same line in Columbus, Ohio.  It was disturbing then, and it is disturbing now.  It would be difficult to say if I didn't experience the tinnitus if I would notice the other physical invasion.  I would.  It is tangible.  As a lucky soul and talented musician I have been blessed to be a part of the four percent of the population who can sense low frequency sound on their skin.  In addition to this I have been the proud recipient of an iridotomy in my right eye allowing the aqueous humor to freely flow between the anterior and posterior chambers of my eye.  Infrasound pushes on the mucous membrane of my eye and forces the fluid to flow allowing me to perceive its frequency.  These are unwelcome gifts.  While sensitivity to sound is a blessing as a performing musician, conversely trying to survive in what now has become the "Great Void of America" is a huge hindrance.  Almost every aspect of my daily life is predicated by this phenomenon, because of where I live.  This just happens to be less then mile from the CSX-T mainline, and roughly two miles from their Milan switching yard.  Throw in the Aberdeen and Rockfish and Norfolk Southern lines and Fayettenam is one great rail whore.  It never stops.  For four days as I have been convalescing in my bedroom, the sound and vibration from the diesel locomotives has been making my life a living hell.  [sic].  This is where the corporate headquarters of CSX-T, a fortune 500 company pioneered by former Secretary of the United States Treasury John Snow, would break into mocking laughter.  The Interstate Commerce Commission assure we can do whatever the fuck we want, and they do.  Federal oversight agencies and boards have turned a blind cheek when it comes to regulation of America's railroads mainly because we are reliant upon STRACNET for our nation's security.  A study that was commissioned by Fayetteville's local government made two recommendations for rail traffic.  One was to build a direct entry into Ft. Bragg from the CSX mainline necessitating a new bridge be built over Cross Creek.  The other was a new interchange in Pembroke eliminating the same time consuming "back up" method of moving trains from Ft. Bragg To Sunny Point.  
When a two mile military train exits Ft. Bragg it must "back up" on the CSX line that runs down Russell Street before being diverted in the correct direction.  This one line could be an indication of how  unregulated CSX really is.  If this one section of track is the backbone of our national security getting military munitions overseas, then how could it be so neglected?  One only has to walk the section of track for a quarter mile to see its poor maintenance.  It is a travesty really.  Broken ties, uneven ballast, half way driven rail spikes.  It is a mockery of our cutting edge military, and yet it persists.  It persists like the continual invasion of CSX engines breaking power axles regulations and basically doing whatever they please despite the invasion of Fayetteville's citizens.  For four days straight I have sat in a room trying to get well, and my one and only companion has been the continual undulating, humming, and disturbing of diesel locomotives seemingly at large.  It never stops. There is no respite.  I have this sound in my head 24/7, and I think they enjoy it.  

Being Sick

A number of interesting things transpire when one is ill.  There are different stages of being ill.  Later forms of illness may merit a doctor visit or a stay in a hospital.  Usually the initial stages of common illness merit a stay at one's own home.  It is here an individual attempts to weather the storm and convalesce into a normal healthy individual.  Isolation in one's home can be interesting.  Depending upon the number of occupants at one's home the isolation could or could not be beneficial.  I recently have found that this isolation is useful.  When one is ill and not operating at full capacity, life is different.  One's environment becomes paramount in providing a certain amount of comfort to weather the storm.  Because illness means we feel bad it is important to have these thing in place to ease getting well.  Metaphorically we begin to interact with our environment on a much more intimate manner.  Our ability to provide a social perimeter is weakened.  We begin to rely upon our immediate environment to provide us the comforts we may take for granted while we are well.  With this isolation from society it is interesting how the things we have chosen to surround us provide for us in our illness.  Do they reinforce the things that are important to our well being, or do they distract from our chi with superficial distractions?  I always have felt the process of surrounding one's self with life's most important things is paramount.  Eliminating life's distractions, short comings, and disappointments is crucial to beginning to reinforce life's successes.  At this point in history in America there is not much helping anyone advance in their individual lives.  Corporate America has abandoned the common man.  The arts are moot.  It seems our little individual surroundings are all that we have to propel us forward in our lives.  Via America.  We have not changed.  Get what we can get.  In a Socialist society things are different.  People look out for one another, because it is the right thing to do.  People do not look out for one another in America.  In fact people do not matter anymore.  We are indispensable, unusable, and a burden.  This is what America's broken system of education has fostered and for a reason.  It was not without purposeful effort that employees of state and federal government decided to turn a blind eye to corruption and influence.  While they siphoned off their piece of the pie, policies and practices of rule turned a blind eye to the constituency they were created to serve.  This is Capitalism.  Capitalism is a segregating warrior that effectively has stratified America.  When reflecting upon the most influential factors that have unified America through her years of strife, it is disconcerting.  Music has been influential.  Television has been influential.  Diesel railroad freight traffic has not been influential.  Diesel railroad freight traffic has been instrumental in the growth of America as has been its predecessor, steam.  As has happened in the past at particular point of political conversion, the railroads once again have taken precedence over the common man.  For over a decade freight rail traffic has increased as government oversight has decreased.  Catastrophic accidents have begun to occur killing many innocent people.  The Interstate Commerce Commission is standing by their man.  "Freight rail is supreme, especially in transporting that newly harvested oil in North Dakota."  It doesn't matter that those old tanker cars are not certified for hazardous materials.  This only is a minute glimpse of how many of the departments defined in the hierarchy of our federal government casually have looked the other way as private businesses have flourished.  These corporate monopolies have little to do with the day to day well being of the American people.  If I had to make a choice of whether I wanted diesel rail freight to continue, or if I wanted my domicile to once again be healthy, I would choose the later.  I would choose to convalesce in my home without the rude and selfish invasion of sound and electromagnetic wave after wave.  Battling my strain of the flu would pale in comparison to fighting these evil demons.  In fact the majority of the time I feel bad is not from my symptoms of the flu.  It is because they grossly being exaggerated by these massive and consistent infrasound waves.  If I described it figuratively it is like having a little bird standing on your shoulder who never shuts up.  It is a consistent movement, disturbance, and distraction from the zen peacefulness we need every day to heal our bodies and minds from the onslaught of mass media.  I am not sure America ever will recover. 

Unnecessary TEXT, not SEX.

Quite a few things are upon my mind.  The first is in response to posts on social media that are portraying texting automobile deaths.  
My only thought about this is if texting never were invented, these adolescents would not be dead.  It has been reported that texting related deaths now have surpassed alcohol related deaths in automobiles.  Candidly I remember when past North Carolina governor Jim Hunt changed the acronym D.U.I to D.W.I and instated a mandatory two night stay in jail for such an infraction.  Driving while impaired was implemented and overnight the drinking culture at UNC Chapel Hill changed.  The place that consumed more beer per capita in the entire United States quickly had to regroup.  Many years later an almost ridiculous practice now has surpassed alcohol related automobile deaths.  The production and use of alcohol is intertwined with man's history.  Texting is not.  Texting is a novelty, and there is no better novelty to act as a metaphor for the sheer disrespect America has for her young people.  Let's create a lucrative communications device that will kill our young adults.  What was the concept?  Who dropped the ball?  Who exactly was responsible for enacting the proper protocol for this wireless communications invention?  It will not be the first time agencies in our federal government have faltered.  FEMA usually takes most of the blame, but others are guilty for looking the other way.  Was is the responsibility of the Federal Communications Commission to recommend legislation to regulate wireless communications?  If they operate anything like the DOT, the best interest of the American people is not their concern.  What is of concern via corporate America is interstate commerce.  Anything that fuels the economy through very specific corporate channels is their concern.  How it effects the people of America is the absolute last thing on their minds.  People are dying.  People have been dying for a long periods of time, and they are overlooked.  It should raise the bar somewhat that young people needlessly are dying for such a ridiculous thing.  

My Mind is Spinning Like the Wheel of Fortune

Really my mind is spinning, spinning, spinning, and not like the great popular song "Wheel of Fortune."  It is spinning or reeling rather trying to try to avoid the lobs of B.S. that have come my way this month.  Let me clarify.  B.S. or bullshit I should define as "jive."  Let me clarify.  The definition of jive is something that is worthless or more problematic, deceptive.  Satan is deceptive.  He masquerades as goodness but really is evil.  The old adage, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,"  I have found in my experience to be true.  One must lie in the bed with evil to fight it.  It is tiresome.  Sometimes I just want to be good and kind. I don't want to expend my now limited creativity dealing with evil or more precisely jive competition.  How is "jive" competition different than true competition?  Jive competition knowingly is fake.  A fake is a forgery or a sham.  Professional Wrestling is jive.  It is okay, because they are not hurting anyone with their harmless exhibitions.  Jive is a word that today seems to be defining the music industry.  In a video that is circulating in social media, pop artists are being exposed as lip sync-ers.  I do not have a problem with Madonna or Britney lip syncing.  Their shows are not meant to be vocal extravaganzas.  They are burlesque shows, shows that are meant to titillate sexually.  As a professional musician never have I found sexuality to be component of any music with which I have been involved.  Maybe this is abnormal or unique.  While romance has been at times a crucial concept in music composition and performance, never have I acknowledged that music could be a whore of sexuality.  Music is the breath of God, and to reduce it to a hedonistic vehicle for self gratification would be a sin.  It happens every day.  It has been happening.  I have ignored it.  I know innately never I have been attracted to the music of Motown.  I respect it, but four singing sweating black men do not turn me on.  There only has been one female pop artist that even suggested that sexual arousal was possible from a singer.  That was Shania Twain singing "You're the One."  Listening to that Canadian country brogue whisper in your ear was enough to get your juices flowing.  Her performance was not sexual.  It was intimate and sincere, something that long has left the music industry.  The historical concept of country music long has left country music.  The innate melancholy of traditional country music has been replaced by selfish hedonism.  When traditions in America that have been sincere and earnest become selfish and sexual, then they can be considered "jive."  They are not sincere efforts at producing an art form, something meant to entertain and enlighten.  Let me clarify.  Talent.  What is talent?  Talent doesn't seem to be important any more in the music industry.  Talent once in America was the thing that earned revenue.  It was an element that transcended humanity and crossed over to the spiritual realm.  We all know that the spiritual realm in America has been on the chopping block for a decade.  Radical right wing extremists have tried to exorcise God from every corner of our country.  Consequently tried and true formulas for entertainment and commerce have been rendered impotent.  This is why the economy is floundering in America.  This is why the dollar is weak.  We have no clue about what America is, because she has changed.  It could be said she has changed for the worse.  Was it a good idea to change the rules of the game leaving its players running in circles chasing an invisible rabbit?  I find it troubling trying to figure out the new America.  I find it infuriating dealing with "jive."  Having spent the entirety of my life studying and playing music, it is insulting again and again as a true musician being disrespected by jive.  The rules have been changed, and traditional talent no longer is important in music production.  Again what exactly is talent?  Talent is a transcendent entity that allows the experiences of an artist extemporaneously to manifest themselves as wisdom in a particular medium.  Once this practice of communicating with an audience at an intimate level was the desired vehicle for entertainment.  It almost guaranteed that the show would be a success.  One only has to watch the STAX/Volt Live in Norway DVD  circa 1968 to witness this phenomenon.  There is something happening that to the untrained eye seems inexplicable.  It is only a band and some singers, but.....   The songs they are singing are metaphors for life's experiences.  They communicate almost directly to and from the human soul.  That is why it is called soul music.  America does not have much soul music today.  That is because the rules have changed.  What used to be the cash cow now has been deemed the enemy.  That is because it takes talent to write and perform soul music.  One must possess a soul to engage in it.  A soul.  Let me clarify.  Soul is emotional or intellectual energy or intensity especially as revealed in a work of art or an artistic performance.  Let me clarify.  In short this means a performer or artist must have "something to say."  They must feel an urging to express themselves for some reason.  The reasons for this urge can be diverse, but without this emotional or intellectual energy driving them the product will be lackluster.  Talent comes in when this urge is recognized, a medium is chosen, and a performer seeks to become artistic in their rendering.  They must hone their skills first into craft and then into art.  America is to ADD to have time for this anymore.  It's all about immediate gratification.  Upon coming back to America from over a decade abroad, it is like hitting a brick wall.  The generation that understood and consumed artistic culture almost is extinct.  America's new youth only have learned from MP3's or streaming media.  It is a shite state of affairs.  What is phenomenal about the STAX/Volt revue is that each and every performer on stage is "feeling" the musical flow of energy.  That means that the songs or vehicles of music are well-written, naturally expressive, and have something to say.  They "flow."  The song from beginning to end is a flow of energy that ebbs and flows.  It creates tension and then seeks to release it.  It is a near perfect metaphor for most musical compositions.  There is a beginning and an end and something interesting happens in between.  An analogy can be made with the three great composers of the Classical Era.  In a symphony the piece builds and builds to a climax.  At the climax each would offer an extremely diverse denouement.  Franz Josef Haydn would make a joke.  Ludwig Von Beethoven would dazzle you with his fireworks.  Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart would treat you to the most beautiful entity he could devise.  Good popular music seeks to do the same thing if it is not "jive."  Jive in this context is a non-musical enterprise trying their best to capitalize in the music industry.  They have failed.  It is disheartening to see musicians with integrity become diverted down this road.  Apparently it is easy to sell out.  Let me clarify.  I observed a skilled group of musicians last night completely drop the ball.  It was heinous.  Much like singer and guitarist Dominick Allen, they masqueraded as something else.  They ignored the historical meanings of the songs and made them selfish vehicles for themselves.  They faked it, and it was noticeable.  Not only was it noticeable it was grotesque.  There was not one ounce of music made at this concert. How can I say such a thing with notes flying around all night?  The quintessential flow of energy that is necessary in a musical performance was absent.  Whether it was the arrangements that were lacking or the acoustic of the arena, something did not allow a drop of sincerity to find its way to this concert.  It was "jive" with a capital "J."  It was weak, it was tepid, and it was jive.  Fake.  Deceptive.  I don't really understand how a group of talented musicians can "lay down" like this on the job.  Let me clarify.  The first time I heard an instrumentalist play like this was on a cruise ship.  I had no idea there could be such a musical concept that would allow singers or instrumentalists to blow puffs of air in your ear like a fairy.  All my life musicians have sought to expend energy from their souls by playing out.  The very idea of using music as a vehicle to weaken the fabric of life is unsettling to me.  It is wrong.  Art to does not seek to make you weak.  It seeks to empower you.  God does not seek to make you weak.  He seeks to empower you.  This kind of music is a disgrace, and if professional players need this kind of gratification they should seek it elsewhere.  The field of music is a professional area, and the meek and lowly do not qualify.  It takes gumption to be a musician, not submission.