Let's Be Friends

 I am aware it is "Pride" month. Pride will always be the longest distance between two people.  It makes us artificial.  Humility makes us real. - Thomas Merton.  I was having dinner at the Chinese Buffet in town, and I was dining alone.  When I attended The Ohio State University in the 1990's, I became accustomed to dining alone.  I was in a completely new state and city, but why should this limit your ability to enjoy your dinner?  I forced myself to frequent restaurants alone, and most often I would sit at the bar.  They were happy to serve me.  When you are devastated the first time from the big break up having been codependent upon your substantial other for a long time, it takes time to retool your life.  This is such an common everyday scenario.  Love and companionship provide such joy and pleasure, but when they leave...  The chasm, the void is vast and dark.  There will be a point if you chose to survive and continue living, you will change yourself to accommodate the loss.  Most often what that entails is choosing not to love that way again.  I had the love early in my life, and it lasted seven years.  For a long time I continued to believe this kind of love always was possible.  It is not.  Maybe it is an adolescent thing.  Maybe it is a first love thing.  I refuse to concede it no longer is possible.  For me I know it is not, and if you continue to want it for yourself you are creating a world of hurt, loneliness and disappoint.  I like to imagine it still being possible, so that occurs in my mind.  Is it fantasy?  Perhaps, but that kind of intimate, physical, emotional love which may only occur in adolescence is as pure as gold.  I am extremely luck to have had it, and it didn't just happen by itself.  I made it happen.  I had an idea of how I wanted it to be, and I worked for it.  It was almost a full time job this love.  A marriage is the same.  It is a full time job keeping it alive and vital.  I would like to see this kind of personal expression preserved.  The feeling in the film "Endless Love" is in the ballpark.  It is tangible this feeling, and although it is not readily accepted today, physicality has a lot to do with it.  I am pretty fatigued as a sixty year old man being expected to relate to women for their minds only.  May I ask what vessel carries this mind?  The mind is a blob in your head, but the vessel that carries it is equally as important in love relationships.  I am chastised for even thinking in my mind what a beautiful body a woman may have.  This is the age in which we live.  It is a whole.  There is no separation between the mind and the body, accept that you can choose to engage your mind only.  If you do you are negating most of what makes you human, and certainly as a populace we don't embrace that anymore.  Humanity went out with Donald  Trump.  Brutality, narcissism, savagery, and fascism are the adjectives of the Trump ideal.  In the Trumpian dystopia is nothing more than plantation owners working their slaves.  They feel a subservient race should be enslaved and should toil for free for the profit of their masters.  It is nothing other than Jim Crow.  It is not new.  It was what built America, but it was wrong.  We are confused.  I sat in a booth at the local Chinese Buffet, of which we have not frequented since the onset of Covid.  When I looked up my view was a lesbian couple sitting next to one another.  they were young and I guess in love.  The dominant partner really exhibited the persona of a Latina gang banger.  You may have thought "she" was a man.  She acted like a man, and more unusually than men treat women, she was dominant over her partner.  This is a recurring theme in Fayettenam.  I see it all the time, militant, feminist, lesbian husbands determined to control their female partners.  On many of the cruise lines it is the homosexual men who wield this control over the heterosexual women.  They will do anything in their power to keep a heterosexual man from approaching a straight woman.  It is called "Cock Blocking."  I didn't have time to fight the "Gay Mafia" at sea, but I would not choose to cross the husband in this lesbian couple.   She was angry, violent, and protective of her charge, not unlike a Mexican cartel operative steeped in violence to control territory.  I ate in peace, and this was my TV.  Young people have yet to grow into adulthood, and as such they are separatist and rebellious to authority.  I expect too much as an ex college professor that young people could step out of their personal intimacy needs and actually engage in society.  That is the kind of juvenile love of which I spoke.  Over the years I learned to change my perspective.  I realized it is not rational for a husband or wife to be able to satisfy all of their spouses needs.  They need other friends.  Pick what is most important to you for the basis of the relationship, agree on it, and carry on.  If you are committed to one another than other people should not be a threat to their marriage.  They will be an asset.  They will provide diversity.  They will provide variety.  Most couples I see are not this way.  It was a surprise to find out some married couples share Facebook feeds.  Wow!  They use the same profile, so if you are talking to one the other hovers not far in the background taking notes.  Ugh!  I have been admiring a local business professional.  This woman is unique in Fayetteville not only from her look, but from her behavior.  It is what catches my attention.  Bait on the hook, and I can't bite.  I will think about it though.  She is of mixed race, and in the business environment appears white.  When I saw her tonight checking out of our Food Lion grocery store I was allowed to see the other side.  On task she dresses and behaves professionally with sleek business clothing and tended hair.  This is unusual today.  Professional dress is a thing of the past, so I respect it.  She has wide shoulders, a thin frame, and a Jamaican face.  (These women always have been beautiful to me)  Tonight God allowed me to glimpse the other side, and I stood quietly and observed.  How can I explain the feeling?  It was not infatuation, because I am not sexually attracted to this woman, but I do find her stimulating and interesting.  Perhaps it is her personal lifestyle that prompts my interest, and I think it is.  She was with another woman, and they were shopping together.  I can't project if they were a couple, but it is possible.  In this setting the business clothing was gone, and a complete other persona was in play.  This was the surprise.  She was scantily dressed with no brassiere.  Her shorts were so short her cheeks were exposed, so it was an extremely relaxed demeanor suggestive of comfort and security.  She was confident, flirty, and sensual.  My intuition guessed this immediately when I saw her the first time, and as a man naturally I responded.  As a probable lesbian promptly she shut me down.  In our time in public it is fashionable to dress like this for your partner, but feel somehow other around you should be immune to your affect.  I was standing directly behind her, and perhaps others shoppers would not be intrigued by such a character.  As a man I am.  It is man's nature, and it is natural to him, yet I am chastised for responding this way.  I said nothing to her, because I was not prepared for such an exchange.  Simply I made note of her alter ego, and will remember it when I conduct business again.  To find someone interesting for certain reasons is normal, but to assume they want to have sex with you also is egocentric and short-sighted. Young people who have not matured into adults may have trouble interacting with adults.  The only model they have is their parents.  It is a searing jab to be disrespected by a recalcitrant daughter, when you are not a father.  I am just a single man living in this world trying to get by.  I would say you could have the most satisfying interaction of your life if you tried it.  The millennial generation is separatist, antagonistic, and self-serving.  "Pride always will be the greatest distance between two people.  It is humility that draws us together."  As a teacher and former college professor I only want to talk to young people.  Their parents are protective and controlling, and the children yearn for diversity, experience, and freedom.  "Dancing, eating, and drinking are not holy."  Of course they are not, but you don't do them in church.  Not doing such things would ensure extinction.  This country is confused, and the "Three R's" aren't going to fix it.  It is a humanity problem, and it can't be solved with an iPhone.  

P.S.  I went to get a Covid booster today at Health Pavilion North.  As it turns out I have two more weeks to wait before I can get another shot.  (I am sick again)  Discuss.  With all of that pretense and a gaggle of parched and hungry Canadian geese camped out on the clinic front porch surrounded by their own feces, when I sat down in the waiting area I glanced down and to my right.  There in front of me were the same crocs I had seen last night on the feet of my bank teller.  They upon closer scrutiny were unmistakable.  They were red, white, and blue, and mostly white.  White crocs.  Above the crocs were a thin pair of black legs terminating in a mask staring intently at a smart phone.  I asked myself, "This couldn't possibly be the same women?"  It was only last night at the grocery store I saw these shoes filled by a scantily clad, thin, young woman.  Without staring I came to realize it was her, again.  Was I stalking her?

Drugs Flying Into Our World

I am going to sleep downstairs tonight, so that the offending Apaches from Tallahassee don't give me a late night sunburn.  I just as soon donate my scalp as to contract radiation burn.  With Sierra Nevada producing such a diverse choice of modular sensor arrays, and L3Harris building them into every aircraft conceivable, your chance of avoiding their scrutiny is nil.  Infrared surveillance is everywhere in the sky.  It is just a matter of who it is.  Elon Musk wants his pie in the sky to the tune of thirty thousand low orbit satellites.  Again I will ask the question.  "Who does one go to to receive permission to fly thirty thousand satellites all around the world?"  When the Donald was President inexplicably he created a new branch of the armed services.  It was called the "Space Force," and we know nothing about it.  It is headquartered at an airfield on the eastern seaboard of Florida.  Meanwhile... Mr. Musk is rocketing is fleet into the sky with abandon, and each bird contains a steerable microwave array much more powerful than the standard transmitter.  It is G5 technology.  Is it a surprise I am getting a tan at three in the morning sleeping in the upstairs bedroom of our home?  More accurately this airborne radiation, microwaves especially, deeply penetrate the skin.  If you have eczema, psoriasis, and a fungal or bacterial skin rash, this radiation will make it worse.  If only could you believe it, Americans are being assaulted from the sky.  If we did realize, it would be difficult to discover who the perpetrators are, kind of like drug traffickers.  They like to fly just above the treeline, under the radar, to most watching eyes.  The names of the LLC's who own these small planes and jets are acronyms or other miscellaneous gibberish.  Purposely they are created to reduce liability for the plane owners.  More likely it is to disguise their identities.  With all of the available drugs in America, it is interesting only the little guys ever are busted.  Those trafficking the volume of lucrative illicit recreational drugs most likely are seemingly upstanding community members.  America is hypocritical at best, and Washington is the origin.  

Rage Against the Machines

I don't enjoy being angry.  It wastes valuable energy and time.  Anger can be a rallying cry, and it does accomplish certain things.  Anger is a base emotion used only in dire situations when rational thought and logical explanation fall short.  Sometimes deep human emotion requires extrication, and this is when anger creeps in.  Anger can be an effective tool, and it can be threatening.  Those who feel threatened can be manipulated, most often children.  Today I was angry, because when I was driving to see my mother I realized the sky was covered in ribbons of jet turds.  I have been watching this for a few years.  Inexplicably to us on certain days, the Fayettenam sky is frosted with Chemtrails.  The first time it was predominant was a week after New Years.  On the news a year later, we heard the source of this lattice work of white lines was a military exercise.  I knew this, because these Chemtrails do not originate from Fayetteville Regional Airport. (Grannis Field)  Instead they fly just above our treeline crisscrossing downtown Fayetteville and its surrounding residential neighborhoods.  We know the 82nd Airborne.  We know bugging out.  We know Cherry Point, Seymour Johnson, and Camp Lejeune.  We understand Pope Field and Simmons Army Airbase.  We also understand military sorties fly "under the radar."   I was infuriated today for another reason, and this reason was in 2011 the Federal Aviation Administration drastically changed traditional flight paths of many major airports.  This change was attributed to their switch from ground-based radar to satellite-based air navigation.  (GPS)  It was rationalized as a good thing, the same way the Norfolk Southern Railroad claims their operations are "Green."  Usually when you see a commercial on TV claiming something, it is because the parties offering the propaganda are corrupt and need positive advertising.  Chemours is an example of this.  They are offering a seemingly heart-felt television ad telling you how environmentally the company is.  The truth is Chemours is responsible for disease and death in hundreds of citizens and have been releasing Gen X and other toxic chemicals into the Cape Fear River.  They are DuPont Jr.  When DuPont was found liable for this activity, they sold off a company to produce a similar chemical with a different name to the China.  It was Chemours.  When someone feels the need to tell you how honest and good they are, it is because inherently they are the evil.  The commercial airline industry took a hit during Covid, and this two year respite from commercial flying largely closed the hole in the Ozone over the South Pole.  Jet exhaust is not user friendly.  It is a major source of carbon emissions.  Chemtrails are problematic and polluting, and these white ribbons in the sky have become more prevalent in Fayettenam with BRAC's decision to move Ground Forces Command here.  On any given day the white in the sky more likely is toxic waste spewed from jet exhaust rather than puffy white clouds.  When I cut my grass yesterday I had difficulty breathing.  Most of us would think Covid 19.  I looked up and the entire blue sky was a gauze of white jet exhaust.  The air was thin, because it was being replaced with carbon emissions.  In 2011 the FAA changed the flight paths, and for the first time in memory flights leaving and arriving at Grannis Field began flying directly over downtown Fayetteville and its surrounding residential neighborhoods.  No longer are they required to climb high into the sky to spare citizens the brunt of these emissions.  Instead in the most insulting and infuriating manner, they take off north and make an immediate left turn flying directly over Fayetteville at low altitude.  This is three thousand feet.  The message being sent is, "Eat my shit.  We don't care about the people in Fayetteville.  Let them breathe death."  This attitude is such a blatantly cavalier, brash, and Trump-like behavior, only can this activity be construed as purposely insulting.  They fly with impunity with their bird flown and spitting into the eyes of those underneath.  Clean air is a necessity for healthy human life, and that no longer exists and Fayetteville.  Most successful middle class citizens have flown the coup in an exercise of "fight or flight."  With this kind of corporate abuse landing squarely in the lungs of local residents, one can imagine the ensuing rocky terrain of of civil war, carnage in the streets, and eventual revolution.  We shouldn't have to deal with such abuse, and Washington and North Carolina have failed again.  It is almost as if corporate America is baiting us for a civil melt down.  It is a shite "Condition of America," when airplanes and locomotives become a human enemy.  It always has been prophesied to be "Rage Against the Machines."  I would rather wait for the aliens.  When we begin being killed by our own the problem accelerates.  

Mishapen Human Sexuality and Its Political Platform

I am going to be bold and write about this, although it is controversial.  It is controversial now, because the Republican National Party is using it as a platform for expression.  Texas, like Florida, is enacting state-wide legislation condemning the LGBT choice, and its accompanying behaviors.  The American governmental system requires a symbiotic relationship between state and federal legislation, and in the recent political landscape under the far right siege of Donald Trump, state governments have begun to unravel and enact unconstitutional and  corrupt legislation.  They are being lobbied and influenced by Trump's machine, and his quest for a communist dictatorship.  Carefully he has planned and implemented a far right assault upon American democracy.  This is not the subject of my blog entry.  The subject of my blog entry is the LGBT "movement."  I have come to realize this "movement" and being gay aren't not necessarily the same.  There are many homosexual couples and singles who do not feel the need publicly to "have pride," "parade," or otherwise flaunt their personal choice of sexuality.  Most people respect the privacy of this choice, and also feel no need to flaunt their own personal choice.  Why would or should heterosexual people expect special treatment from their personal, private, sexual preference?  Consequently demanding both national and state-wide acknowledgement and acceptance of the LGBT lifestyle is unique and unusual.  I have come to believe it is detrimental to our nation.  For Americans as a populace to be expected to embrace an alternative personal lifestyle like it were exemplary is far reaching.  Why?  What is it LGBT people do that demands this special recognition?  More likely this call for acceptance is because of all ready existing discrimination.  The LGBT community feels unsupported and persecuted, so it is this discrimination that is exacerbating their need to protest publicly.  So be it.  Without a better understanding of LGBT habits, it will be difficult for mainstream America to accept this seeming aberrant behavior.  We are in the throes still of discriminating against women and blacks.  Adding LGBT to this list staunchly places this group at number three.  It is a lost cause.  The American Constitution and Christian faith suggest all people are created equal, but the LGBT community seems to want notoriety.  Why?  What is exemplary about being gay?  My opinion about what I see in the local LGBT community choosing this lifestyle, which denies a natural physical, spiritual, and emotional connection between men and women, is it is regressive.  It is devolution.  It suggests those choosing this sexual orientation aren't capable of mitigating the male/female dynamic.  We know this inherently is not easy.  The "War of the Sexes" has been around for centuries, but this struggle is the subject of and inspiration for most traditional art.  Most literature, film, and music would not exist if it weren't for the male/female relationship.  It is the crux of the human existence.  Suggesting it no longer is valid is a stretch, and expecting the majority to accept something which seems to offer little in his way is shallow.  LGBT is shallow and mono dynamic, because it excludes half of the human equation.  Choosing to live this way is one's personal choice, but suggesting the world herald this way of life is ridiculous.  "Don't ask, don't tell" ironically was a better perspective.  I will be candid in saying allowing open homosexuality in the United States military was a grievous mistake.  It is an unneeded distraction and threat to the integrity of our troops.  It is an unfair bias which should be absent.  A singular mono dynamic life experience would be limiting.  One only is capable of understanding their own perspective.  Many married heterosexual couples marry someone who looks like them to comfort rather than simulation   I see this often in the married couples I know.  They feel comfort only in looking at a reflection of themselves.   Variety is the spice of life I say.  To me this inability to absorb a  different perspective, gender, and physicality means you require special treatment.  This gender diversity is what the human race has had since its inception in the Garden of Eden with the creation of Adam and Eve.  From my personal experience this connection between man and woman, emotionally, physically, and spiritually is what makes life worth living.  When encountered, acknowledged, and allowed this chemistry can be like magic and can create a euphoria that never will be experienced otherwise.  It is a lost art, and America is not helping.  Yes, we are living in the shadow of heinous sexual harassment by white men like Bill Cosby, Jeffry Epstein, and Harvey Weinstein.  The list goes on, but it does not mean all men are pigs, and it should not discount God's pattern for human interaction.  It has.  The LGBT movement, like the Tea Party, has become an impetus for the victims of these crimes.  Not everyone is a victim, and Americans should not be expected to treat the entire population as victims.  Our local area is rife with militant lesbian feminism.  They are tough, angry, and hateful people,  especially toward "The White Devil."  (white men).  Watching these domineering females demand and keep control of a female mate and her child is sickening.  Once it was called "Penis Envy."  They want to be men, but they were born women.  I, as a middle aged white man, find it infuriating and frustrating that the LGBT community finds it unacceptable for me to be attracted to a traditional female form.  Why would I be attracted to a woman who thinks she is a man?  It has become sacrosanct to relish the difference between man and woman, between masculine and feminine, and between penis and vagina.  I have lived with myself alone for so long, the female form to me is the Holy Grail.  I long for this difference, for this complimentary form, and for the natural connection and intimacy the male/female model performs.  Once America agreed, and our entire lives revolved roughly around this pursuit.  LGBT has changed that, and cable TV now openly ignores male/female romantic and sexual energy.  It is urging us to ignore the naturally occurring "ID," and its attributes.  They are trying to make it vogue to be saccharine, mono dynamic, and bland.  The metaphors of the human "Mojo," defined in physical bodily terms, now are being scorned in favor of generic, nondescript, androgynous blobs.  We are traveling backwards toward one-celled organisms.  Is the comfort offered by shapeless, mindless, and sexless plasma really desirable, or does it simply provide comfort because of it compliance and non resistance?  Throughout history a good fight always was stimulating, desirable, and thought provoking.  Conformity on the most basic level is "Special Needs."  The human race is capable of much more, and we should attempt to rise to this challenge rather than demanding acceptance of mediocrity.  

Toe the Joe

 I have this to say.  Gas prices were this high once before, and it was W.  W. was from an oil cartel family, and because of them and their fallout with Saudi Arabia, the lower Saudi royals bombed the World Trade Center.  It wasn't Saddam Hussein.  Osama bin Laden was a part of it, and he wanted to be the fighting force for Saudi Arabia, but they turned him down.  He became his own fighting force with malice for this country, but it was the lower Saudi's that planned the bombing of the  American Twin Towers.  Saudi Arabia is NOT our a ally.  Change gears.  Rudy Giuliani was conspiring with known mobsters, displaced mafia henchmen, stationed in Ukraine.  The current President of Ukraine is a comedian and actor, not unlike former American President and actor Ronald Reagan.  It is possible he is performing the same task as Ronnie.  He is being puppeted by ulterior forces.  Meanwhile Russia invades Ukraine, and Joe Biden mindlessly is pumping billions of American tax payer dollars into Ukraine.  Meanwhile gas prices have risen for a second time to the highest level in U.S. history.  Meanwhile Joe Biden is pumping billions of dollars into a second proxy Cold War neglecting the American populace.  Instead he is fighting Vladimir Putin.  Shite never has been worse in America.  Joe, what are you doing?  Even the Alt Right, corrupt, Republican degenerate party is calling you a Communist.  This is not good.  We don't like it that you are hemorrhaging American tax-payer dollars to fund Ukraine.  We rather would prefer you to fund Americans. 

Jim Crow Jr. - The Sequel (but worse)

 It's best for us to understand that Mitch and his cronies don't care.  Rather they see a mass shooting at a largely Mexican-attended elementary school as a blessing.  They want to build a wall to keep Mexicans out of America.  Twenty dead Mexicans is a step in the right direction.  As Americans we really need to understand our dire political situation.  These men are fascists.  They are Nazis.  They are mass murderers.  Of course no eighteen year old should be able to purchase an assault rifle.  One thing Bill Clinton did accomplish in the crime bill was an assault rifle ban.  Touche.  There are so many things amuck in American society and politics, we cannot begin to fathom their challenges.  The more quickly we understand Mitch and his boys are ethnic cleansing from inside, the better.  Most of it has been masterminded by Satan himself.  MSNBC reported in all likelihood the 2024 presidential campaign would be Donald Trump vs. Joe Biden.  Quickly I reminded myself half of the news is hearsay.  I don't think that will happen.  If it does, if our Attorney General and the January 6th committee don't take this turd out of circulation, a twice impeached failure of a president, and he is allowed again to run for the President of the United States, then a civil war is merited.  A revolution may come to fruition.  If this nation, if America is subject to another round of lies, corruption, and evil, and it is allowed by American law, then everything about this country has failed.  Anarchy could ensue.  Any faith I have in America will be gone.  (Mostly it all ready is gone)  The people are merited in fighting back.  I don't want to spend the last chapters of my life as a guerilla soldier.  Fully I understand all of use at one time or another must stand up and fight for our freedom, but it is the job of our leaders to provide justice.  They are failing.  Not only are they failing, they are assaulting us from within covertly while wearing white collars.  Jim Crow Jr. is white collar crime, and if and when the average American decides to put a stop to it, it will tumble like an eighty year old falling off wall built to keep Mexicans out.  The fight, it seems, is on. 

Up Chuck America

 Time to write again.  It has been a while.  Before the latest carnage in Texas, a hate crime against Mexicans, SCOTUS busily was trying to ban abortion.  This came out of the blue, or did it?  It was just a matter of time before Trump appointed justices would abide by their true color, red.  A woman does and should have complete control of her own body, but we do live in something called a nation or country where solidarity is necessary.  Vaccines once were normal, because they save lives.  Only in this heated time of misinformation, gas lighting, and utter lying to their political constituency has evil constituted a governing policy.  It is past the point of absurdity, and necessarily I feel we will be fighting each other in the streets.  I hope that does not transpire, but if it does I am prepared.  Abortion should not be the issue.  The issue is contraception.  A woman's number one responsibility is to avoid unwanted pregnancy.  Once this was paramount in the ethos of public instruction.  You don't get pregnant, because if you do mostly your life will be over.  You don't get pregnant, and not getting pregnant has become too much for American youth.  Spoiled by smart phones, wireless internet, and immediate gratification, taking the necessary means not to get pregnant is an inconvenience.  It would mean you must commit to something.  You take responsibility for your own sexual desire.  I began having sex at a young age, and my number one objective was not to get pregnant.  We didn't.  Never.  Women can and should do it, practice safe sex with contraception.  It takes thought, energy, and dedication, things we no longer accentuate in American culture.  If the internet and a smart phone can provide so much, why can't it keep me from getting pregnant?  What a smart phone will provide during Armageddon is a weak and short-lived penlight.  That's all.  It will not plant a seed.  It will not till a field.  It will not harvest a crop.  It will not help you, so we need to wean ourselves away from this addiction.  Above all abortion should not be used as contraception, so I disagree with all of the angry women carrying signs.  Don't get pregnant.  You can do it.  Prove yourself.  Don't get pregnant.  If you get raped or molested by a family member or anyone else, then it would be your choice to terminate this life if the parent(s) cannot provide adequate sustenance for this child.  If the parents are drug addicts and are physically weak and diseased, spare the world another human anomaly.  We all ready are fucked up enough eating from the American food system.  This is why America has a weight problem, because commercial food is shite.  Buy it fresh from the store and cook it yourself.  It is easy.  Get yourself a steamer basket, a broil pan, a saute pan, and a pressure cooker.  It is easier to cook fresh vegetables than it is to thaw out frozen poison.  You simmer them water.  Don't get pregnant, and that is accomplished  by the LGBT community.  Procreation is a necessary tenant of the human race, except that human beings no longer are good, just, and honorable.  The amount of work it takes to sustain a marriage would be the most difficult thing you ever accomplished, but it is worth it.  Work.  It takes work to provide romance.  Any group that is represented by an acronym is doomed to failure.  They keep adding letters to the name, and who knows what any of it means?  The LGBT community around here is angry, misandrist, and separatist.  They almost violently mark lines in the sand with their toes, and dare you to cross it.  I mean lesbians protecting their cubs like bears.  It is disgusting.  You wonder why America is fucked up? 

The Dark Hole of Cumberland County

Personally I don't like to be a ragger.  Ragging on things can be a waste of time certainly, if only you dwell on the negativity of life.  Times arise when the shite is thick, and that is now in Cumberland County, North Carolina.  "Fayettenam" has been around since Viet Nam.  There have been myriad explanations of this emergent term, and often they are laced with endearing sentiments.  Many people of lived in Fayetteville, North Carolina because of Fort Bragg.  (soon to be Fort something else) I suggest Fort Powell.  Many also do not want the name of Fort Bragg changed.  Ironically in true North Carolina fashion, changing the name of the post has been explained in dollars and centers.  (how much it will cost to change signage)  This is stupid.  Who cares how much it will cost?  The idea is to remove the ramifications of Civil War bigotry from our current consciousness.  That is impossible, because America is under siege from Jim Crow Jr., really Donald Trump.  Fayetteville ironically has had an intellectual and creative side necessarily to "trump" the blatant and dominant military influence.  I am not a miliphobe, but now living in a traditionally middle-class civilian neighborhood turned NCO club, the stark contrast of civilian vs. military is blaring.  Once perhaps it was not.  Military and civilian citizens live their lives in completely different ways, and there is no law or national policy which mandates civilians must live a life of the military.  But they do, and with BRAC and the adoption of Ground Forces Command at Fort Bragg, there is no turning back.  Fayetteville is military central, and that is its focus solely because of the dollars flowing from Uncle Sam.  The more grievous problems of Cumberland Country and Fayetteville totally are ignored for this reason.  We are in a deep state of denial about the quality of life of Cumberland Country.  I do not like to rag, but fake news and misinformation have become rampant.  The truth no longer is told, and it is now commonplace to interject "Newspeak" into public consciousness.  Most of it is lies.  This is a surprise to me that you no longer can trust your leadership, and that with the emergence of the Trump Dynasty corruption and oppression are his formula for personal gain.  His goal is to convert America to Communism and to become our fascist leader.  He has reiterated his philosophy, but his humor and charm somehow duped half of our population.  When you find you have been taken, that is when it really stings.  Many still won't believe Donald Trump is evil, probably because he reminds them of themselves.  Virtue, honesty, and integrity are lost human ideals, and many Americans have no vestige of these qualities.  The absence of God's leadership, unwavering love, and compassion are the reason for this shift.  America has removed God from our nation, and it has been a heinous mistake.  Will we recover?  To rag.  To complain.  To point out.  What was my original thread?  Fayetteville has become Watts and Compton, the sewer of Fort Bragg.  The corruption of local corporate America is so deeply seeded, there is little chance of recovery.  Most of this aberrant activity is from foreign influence.  Most of the siege of American freedom, democracy, and Capitalism has been from communist nations.  They infiltrated America by buying our real estate and our businesses and planting their seeds of moral decadence and corruption.  It began in Hollywood with the Japanese, and it has continued all over America.  China and Mexico have large stakes in American commerce, and as such their fascist ways have infiltrated traditional American values.  Teachers won't teach in Cumberland Country.  Soldiers commit suicide after returning to Fort Bragg.  Murder is rampant.  People more often than not are on drugs, so progress is impossible.  Local politics sprinkle money on the deeply seeded problems.  The police chief, unable to keep an active force of sworn officers, is offering microgrants to quell violent crime.  What greater "cop" out can there be than for a police chief to sprinkle money on her constituency to get them to do her job.  It is because she is on the take.  Corruption has taken the place of honest leadership, and its money runs the local economy.  There are time I believe this corruption merely is ignorance and lack of morality.  They don't know any better, and there is nothing to teach them. 

The Evil Red State of Drugs

If I go for too long, "When good men do nothing, evil flourishes," it would seem The Donald keeps attracting flies like the worthless pile of dung he is.  The world has become overwhelming, and that is because democracy is in peril.  The Capitalist free market system cannot operate under siege.  It is and has been stricken with disease for a while now.  The rich no longer need the capitalist market, because they have all the money.  America can flounder, kick and scream, or break into civil war.  It may be the latter is the only answer, because to restore Capitalism the most major effort required of America must come to fruition.  The evening news reports the depressive news, but like local politics they fail to enter the ring at all.  The issues facing America are not fringe; they are the most basic philosophical ideologies imaginable, something beyond the capacity of current American thought.  Jim Crow Jr. is so ignorant, they don't know American civilization is a risk.  Instead a logical and natural conversion to Communism will ensue.  It all ready was begun and is continuing in our midst.  Joe Biden will not stop it.  Mike Pence will not stop it.  The only people who can stop it are the citizens themselves, and it will be arming ourselves against our neighbors who have been led astray by evil cloaked in human form.  Evil masquerades as good, and that is Donald Trump.   

Happy Doing Less?

 The all hallowed bubble or the Trumpian Utopia has been presented as reality, since Donald Trump emerged into the American political landscape.  Rest assured he has been painting this picture his entire life.  Need some snake oil?  How about some magic elixir that stops the pain?  Donald Trump has been selling fantasy, since the puppet Ronald Reagan drastically reduced income taxes for the rich.  "Yuppie" also emerged, and it was Donald Trump selling Manhattan dreams to the young and upwardly mobile Nouveau riche directly benefiting from "Trickle Down Economics."  In the 1980's, a decade in which I lived a large and important portion of my life, I felt what has happening in the American economy was acceptable.  To me "Trickle Down Economics" was working, because the consumer saw businesses, merchants, and manufacturers reinvesting in their companies.  There were tax loopholes to be found, but I saw American commerce flourish as a result.  Never was an American mall so well stocked or decorated for the Christmas holidays.  It was boutique, designer, and gourmet to the hilt.  I looked forward to reading the Land's End or L.L. Bean catalog, because the clothing they offered truly was of a higher quality than mall fodder.  The musical instrument market burgeoned with the introduction of the Yamaha DX-7 and the Korg M-1.  Ray Kurzweil set the stage for soul-moving sounds in music production.  All of this being said I have a right to reflect on the current "Conditions of America."  Never has it been worse.  There is this saccharine veil of comfort provided by internet streaming on a smart device.  Never are you very far from digital comfort, if you chose to suck on the teat of an iPhone.  I do not.  I want nothing to do with a portable consumer device controlling my home's security system.  It is flashy and convenient, but it is not trustworthy.  I went to graduate school to learn how to use the Apple Macintosh computer mostly for music purposes.  Other than the proliferation of millimeter waves in our personal airspace, apps that are available today again are consumer level software.  That is the chosen market.  I like the professional market, but it is difficult to remember.  Anyone can have a recording studio on their laptop.  Anyone can shoot a movie on their iPhone camera.  What does any of this have to do with the Trumpian Utopia?  It is candy.  It is sugar sprinkled on shit, and it in no way confronts the problems and issues of this nation.  We have been living in a the daze of the surreal for a long time, and it is the Republicans who have been pitching this illusion.  Science?   No need to worry about climate change.  The arts?  Why do we need them?  Journalistic integrity?  Big Brother lies to everyone to aid the rich and keep them in control.  George Orwell's novel, "1984," came three decades later as did the predicted catastrophe of 2012.   We are in it now.  What am I talking about?  I am talking about the Republican philosophy of denying everything real and hoping everything stays the same, while their compatriots rape and pillage America.  You can wear the rose colored glasses.  You can bury your head in the sand.  You can do what the cruise industry requires simply and "Greet and Smile."  After the onslaught of Covid 19, you can wake up and smell the shit.  I knew it would happen in my lifetime, because I have been writing about it for some time.  I didn't know our war would be a war with a manufactured covert pathogen.  That was pretty sneaky, but we are onto you.  I guess it takes living through a Great Depression, World War, or pandemic to understand life's true challenges.  Waking up each day with a smile is a nice thought, and your Crew Trainer will tell you to put all of your baggage in a trunk and slide it under the bed.  In America no longer can we do that.  We cannot ignore the ensuing decline of American integrity, prosperity, and happiness.  We are not great anymore, and the proof is in the pudding.  The reality is you can't make a Hollywood level movie on your iPhone.  You can't write a symphony on your laptop.  You can't make art unless you possess the knowledge.  Talent helps.  I am an artists, but it is difficult to remember.  When I came back to North Carolina to look after my mother, I had to stop thinking about making art.  Today it doesn't matter, because there is almost no art anywhere, especially on television.  Television sold out the day it invented "Reality TV" and stopped paying professionals to do the work.  Music was compromised the day Napster allowed copyrighted content to be bootlegged on the internet.  Thus far it has not regained its former worth for the American soul.  I don't think there is an American soul, and if there is it is just Republicans still wishing things will just stay the same.  Ignore reality.  Ignore selling America out with Globalism.  Ignore reality.  Ignore grown up life.  Ignore the school of hard knocks, the Protestant Work Ethic, and home grown values.  Ignore God.  Ignore religion.  Masturbate to pornography free and prolific on the internet.  I'm not sure why I keep chugging along.  I am not happy doing less. 

A Treeless "Fayettenam."

Recently the Fayetteville Observer ask for feedback on what the most pressing issues should be for potential political electees.  There was only space for one issue, but the paper suggested this Facebook forum for more conversation.  My family has lived in Fayetteville since my father acquired the band directors job at Terry Sanford High School in the early 1970's.  I have returned after moving away to earn post graduate degrees in music and having worked abroad playing piano for various cruise lines for over a decade.  This return was necessitated by my father's passing and my mother's need for care, who now is ninety years old.  We are living in our same home in Van Story Hills off Morganton Road.  While I don't publicize my Fayetteville domicile, I have lived here for going on ten years.  I guess I have become a Fayetteville resident again, although the quality of life has regressed almost drastically since the onset of Covid.  I have strong feelings on what issues should concern local politicians, and often they are glossed over because the issues that really concern Cumberland County are severe and daunting.  Why is this?  That is the question.  Why would it be necessary to have a Facebook group entitled "Remembering Our Lost Friends?"  This group was begun, because so many from Fayetteville die prematurely.  Most who graduate from high school and attend college never return, because Fayetteville does not offer the amenities of other less military cities.  This is true.  It is not speculation, and not long ago Fayetteville leaders were trying to query younger people as to why they leave.  The nickname "Fayettenam" can be construed as an accurate determinate.  Life here is more difficult than other places with a combination of ghetto crime stemming from the proximal violence of necessary preparation for war at Fort Bragg.  This dichotomy is real, and while it is part of Fayetteville's challenge it is not all of it.  The unfolding military industrial complex perhaps is more challenging to Fayetteville residents, especially after the creation of CSX by former Treasury Secretary John Snow.  In the 1980's railroads were on the decline financially, and John Snow sought to revive their profitability.  He did so by acquiring and merging the Chessie System with Seaboard Coastline in 1980.  Since this merger then CSX-T has escalated to behemoth corporate monopoly earning almost seven hundred million dollars a quarter for shareholders.  They have positioned themselves as a major controller of federal and state power, and this influence has little to do with common residents.  They earn money for investors, and consequently this earned income overshadows any quality of life for those living near their trackage.  With the onset of AC traction in the rail industry in 1990, CSX, General Motors, and General Electric effectively grew into a dominant corporate monopoly stifling most competition.  The Norfolk and Southern resisted the transition to AC traction for various reasons, but recently with the emergence of Wabtec and Motive Power have begun a conversion process to rebuild their DC engines into AC stallions.  These newly emerging locomotives are like giants on steroids, and this incredible and massive power largely are what have allowed CSX to grow into such a corporate monopoly.  Not unlike the recent unveiling of G5 wireless networks with phased array antennas, the availability of millimeter wave technology at the hands of past president Bill Clinton has skewed electromagnetic pollution and begun to irregularly warm the planet.  Train activity in Fayetteville is a major antagonist, and I have written about it before.  Local politicians would cower at the challenge of both confronting and trying to re-regulate the rail industry.  George W. Bush paved the way for this unbalanced power by deregulating much industry including airlines.  "Fayettenam," while most often thought of because of Fort Bragg, actually is created by excessive rail and air traffic.  Fort Bragg is part of this activity, and we all understand the necessity of the 82nd Airborne and what it provides for national defense.  What is not considered is separate corporate activity in what Fayetteville really has become, an industrial park.  While some enterprises have folded or moved on, Cargill, DAK Americas,  Valley Proteins, Hexion, Goodyear, and now Fayetteville Block have energized their output.  Together with the activity at the Fort Bragg railhead, the Honeycutt Marshalling Yard, rail traffic now proliferates 24/7 with little regard for local life.  Trains are a major antagonist in Fayetteville, and not just because they block grade crossings.  AC traction locomotives pollute at a level misunderstood and not studied in any way, and this is the way CSX, Wabtec, and Motive Power like it.  Add the Aberdeen and Rockfish and its River Terminal, and newly drawn flight paths by the 2014 NexGen aviation plan to vitalize the private sector of the aeronautical industry, Fayetteville has become a huge whore.  While regulating rail traffic should be a priority, stopping commercial air flights  from flying directly over downtown Fayetteville is urgent.  One only has to ask themselves, "Who is this serving?"  They changed the Fayetteville flight paths and added express service to Charlotte, and now Fayetteville is the sacrificial lamb for their profit.  It is a huge disservice to everyone in Fayetteville, but especially for those up the ladder of economic success.  This generation of affluent Fayetteville is becoming extinct, and with its conspicuous absence has come exploitation.  Ask any homeowner living on the Gold Coast, Skye Drive, in Van Story Hills, in Haymount, or anywhere else.  None of these capable money-earning citizens would choose to have PSA, Endeavor, or Piedmont jets flying over their homes at two thousand feet.  They shouldn't be, because they didn't before.  Rail traffic before Fortune 500 didn't operate twenty four hours a day.  They activity was reasonable with no need to earn a gazillion dollars for share holders.  Fayetteville is a whore and to a large extent Roy Cooper has promulgated this title.  The lives of residents of Cumberland Country are secondary, except for the flowing dollars of those in the military.  The pimp in this case is the Pentagon and the Department of Defense.  Life will not improve in Cumberland Country until these issues are understood.  In my humble opinion Fayetteville has been sacrificed for Ground Forces Command, CSX, and the rest.  Investing in children living in Fayetteville is not important to the bottom line.  Once there was a strong Fayetteville society presence because of affluence and subsequent influence.  Because this generation is dying off, new money is gouging the pie.  Before long there will be no trees left in Fayetteville.  

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

I don't have much on my conscious mind except survival.  When the Marines come to Fort Bragg,  all of life is reduced to their reality.  In the field.  Big guns.  Kill the enemy.  Maneuvers.  Completely I understand the need of  American servicemen to practice their craft, and there is no better to do so than Fort Bragg, North Carolina.  When Base Realignment and Closure made the decision to make Fort Bragg (soon to be Fort Powell) the center of the military universe, the bubble quickly was inflated to favor this strategic plan.  Why not make Fort Bragg the bubble itself?  A bubble always will emerge in a Capitalist society to favor commerce and revenue.  For Cumberland Country and Fayetteville mostly it was and has been housing.  The surrounding area must provide for these active duty military personnel and their families.  Always that has been the case for Fort Bragg and Fayetteville.  Not until now has housing been such a contentious issue.  A one bedroom apartment in Cumberland County rents for $1,200.00.  Gouge.  Then again we are in the wake of the Covid assault.  Necessarily the proximal economy must readjust, and America's news media is hesitant to point the blame for encroaching inflation on the supply chain blockage.  It's like we just forgot Covid really is to blame for increased prices for housing, gas, and food.  The reality for a host military community is, not everyone living here wants to live a military lifestyle.  It would be difficult for those outside of the 200,000 military bubble to exercise any sensibility other than that of those 200,000.  The few remaining can believe they are not governed by Uncle Sam, but the reality is the Department of Defense and the Pentagon hold sway over Cumberland Country.  It is their oyster.  There may be a few independent businesses, but wholly and fully the majority of Cumberland Country relies upon the flowing dollars of the military.  There is the restaurant scene, and evidently it has taken the place of the meet markets once located on Hay Street.  The smut or more accurately the diversion sought by taxed military enlistees has been cleaned up.  No longer does Hay Street cater to the needs of G.I.'s.  Unless they want to frequent a baseball game with their spouses and children, it is unlikely military personnel will  patron downtown Fayetteville.  Instead they will cruise Skibo Road and shop.  Have the needs of newly enlisted military personnel changed?  After living in a tent in the field for weeks at a time and undergoing stringent physical and psychological training, what do G.I.'s want to do?  Once it was drink alcohol, buy drugs, and hopefully get laid.  Was it appropriate to eradicate this potential from downtown Fayetteville?  Because this potentially illicit activity has been removed from public eye, where has it moved?  Is it possible that these once recognized and championed needs have been quelled?  Welcome Barack Obama and his introduction of open homosexual behavior in the United States military.  Believe me Fort Bragg has changed, and yet nary an institution has deemed it necessary to assess the ramifications of drastic change.  Gays in the military?  What does that mean, really?  If we now are allowing women openly to serve, is it possible Miss America is signing up for active duty?  Perhaps the Lady's Auxiliary has enlisted.  If one looks closely the more approximate profile of women in the military might be lesbian.  Considering Barack Obama sanctioned homosexual behavior in military ranks, could not serving now be exploited for this purpose?  Military life isn't civilian life, and if examined accurately we all must agree that military life is far from mainstream.  Basic training in and of itself presents a picture of challenge and extremism.  It is predicated by discipline and the necessary instilling of obedience and order.  Above all military personnel exist in and as ranks of people.  They operate in close confines as groups of soldiers relying upon one another to complete their mission.  This reliance is a necessary tenant of the military ethic.  Traditionally if the military once was predominantly male, allowing homosexual behavior freely to proliferate in the ranks would be a major shift of policy.  It could be seen as an unfair and inappropriate advantage for homosexuals the same way it is working in the close confines of a cruise ship.  As more women are introduced to military service the equation becomes more complex.  As a nation who funds the United States military through our tax dollars, we have no idea of the dynamic that exists today created by this new change.  Only those actively serving could offer a glimpse of this life.  The LGBT movement in America has been championed as a virtuous and reputable alternative to heterosexual romance, but because of its underground and rebellious nature we know nothing of its true integrity.  I personally find it insulting that factions assuming this persuasion are demanding our public respect.  What is it about LGBT that demands respect?  In a crude and primitive analogy what is it about a woman who proclaims she chooses and prefers sex with another woman that makes her virtuous and worthy of support?  The majority of the male race would and should say, "Get in line."  Of course the woman form is appealing sexually to many, but because you step on the bandwagon doesn't mean you get to cut the line.  Again I suggest, "Get in line."  As a woman are you more virtuous and respectable seeking the affection of another woman?  This would mean in a blanket assessment lesbians consider themselves more deserving for female companionship than men.  Bluntly they are "men haters."  Believe me Cumberland County is filled with Nazi Lesbian Men Haters, and I should ask myself whence they come?  The logical answer is openly homosexual behavior in the United States military has something to do with it.  Whether you are lobbing a grenade, swabbing a deck, or seeking gay sexual satisfaction in your ranks, this now accepted behavior in all probability has lessened the integrity of our fighting forces.  It is an inappropriate distraction, opportunity, and personal choice which should be been kept separate.  Bill Clinton's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" really was not bad policy.  

The Chapter of "Loss" in Life

 It is a bit of a surprise to realize and begin to understand I am experiencing loss again.  It should not be surprising.  We have been surrounded by disease, death, and their ensuing loss for over two years.  In the newly adopted aesthetic of American media we have focused on the shock value of Covid 19.  Scaring the shit out of Americans is commonplace, and any semblance of logical contemplation and attempted understanding has been put by the wayside.  America no longer wants to preen intelligent, thoughtful, Christian citizens.  Instead our country covertly has adopted scare tactics reminiscent of Nazi Germany.  It has been the brazen voice and orange coif of Donald Trump who embraced and championed this extremism.  There could be no finer example of a blow hard in American history, and yet Mr. Orange, in his falsely proclaimed campaign to "Make America Great" has done nothing but assault America and her freedom.  Any viable and constructive tenant of American democracy has been undermined.  Sprinkle Covid over the top and you have a mash of the most insidious and inciting rhetoric in our lifetime.  What has been the purpose of this assault?  There is no more clear answer than "Ethnic Cleansing."  Listen to what Trump has said, and he told us how entitlements were bogging down the American economy.  "Let's get rid of old people.  Let's get rid of the prisoners.  Let's get rid of anyone who puts a strain on the flowing dollars to rich Republicans."  What Trump has forgotten is that we are a human race, and money does not just materialize.  For the extreme rich (of whom traditionally we thought of as virtuous in the evolution and development of America), they live is such a bubble that they have forgotten at a grass roots level of existence money still needs to be earned.  Evidently there is so much money flowing in their coffers, total elimination of the rest of the population isn't out of the question.  I would be bold enough to say that it is their plan, and it is called "Ethnic Cleansing."  It has happened many times, and we need to remember.  We need to remember an evil dictator in Germany rounded up harmless Jews and shipped them in cattle cars to gas chambers disguised as showers at Auschwitz.  The Holocaust was real, and it was a stones throw away from now.  Slobodan Milosevic accomplished the same thing in Bosnia, and the world with the help of the Dayton Accords instigated by Bill Clinton, tried and convicted him of war crimes at the International Tribunal at the Hague.  He died in prison.  As we live and breathe Vladimir Putin is slaughtering harmless Ukrainians.  I have strayed from my original thread, but scaring common folk has become the way of the American media.  The common folk who are old enough and intelligent enough to discern the difference between good and evil are few, and this is what is titillating my sense of loss.  My opening sentence to this blog entry was going to be, "I should be happy to have experienced loss before, because it will not be unfamiliar to me now."  This newer sense of loss has been elusive, and it is possible I have not allowed it to come to fruition.  Having recovered from severe loss your new mission statement becomes survival at all cost.  The deeply yearning and sorrowful shadow is as strong as before, but it has been replaced as the most necessary component of your emotional construct.  I will admit I have been in turmoil, because my creative and artistic voice has been quiet.  It has been quiet, because if I opened my Pandora's box of real emotion, it could be overwhelming.  Perhaps that is what has happened.  Reality has emerged, and it is sad.  What is this newly recognized reality?  First Covid 19 has dealt a heinous blow to humanity.  The death toll is great, and we have watched those around us die continuously since Covid's emergence.  To pause and consider the number of notable citizens who have succumbed to this disease is startling.  With their conspicuous absence a quick and hearty wave of capitalism has begun.  Fayetteville in particular, with her second largest military presence in all American cities, quickly has retooled available real estate.  This disease for the real estate market has been a tremendous boon, and the transformation of old Fayetteville into military Fayetteville is stark and upsetting.  Instead of recognizing and appreciating Fayetteville's existing infrastructure, developers are urgent to purchase and develop every available morsel of dirt, tree, and stream to fill their pockets.  We literally are watching Fayetteville disappear and get replaced with gingerbread housing sold quickly and opportunistically to landlocked military comrades.  It is an enticing bundle.  Hefty monthly housing stipends siphoned right back into the pockets of the local developers.  It is win win for them.  It is not for existing residents of Fayetteville.  With this influx of new military blood (and I am not discounting its viability), the history of Fayetteville is being lost.  It is not reasonable to compare the attributes of UNC educated professionals with grunt G.I.'s.  While the housing market and to a large extent the entire Fayetteville economy relies upon military dollars, malcontent, gung-ho, high school drop outs cannot replace Fayetteville heritage and culture.  They bring with themselves the limited education they have, and that means a severely limited ability to appreciate finer things.  Fayetteville always has been a dichotomy, but the historical foundations of Fayetteville are eroding.  The loss of this consciousness is the reality which has beset me.  I largely have ignored this change, and unconsciously have vowed to continue with my own interests unfettered.  As I look around and realize my own personal sentiments no longer are reinforced, it is a large pill to swallow.  Loss is nothing to laugh at, and it is tangible.  If you live the transient military lifestyle and are taught to be ambulatory and superficial, perhaps not growing roots is appropriate.  When you have planted roots, watching your community disappear is disheartening.  

American Planation Life

As a former educator with a degree in music education from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, completely I cannot discount the state of American youth.  I would not wish it upon anyone the school of hard knocks of which they have been a part.  It has been different than walking five miles to and from school.  It has been different than working three jobs.  It is different than being poor and wondering whence your next meal will come.  Instead today's youth have had to endure the most mind boggling misrepresentation of human reality in our lifetimes.  It is like waking up each day and being a part of the "Theater of the Absurd."  The internet has proven to be the most harmful culprit.  In human development and learning an unregulated forum for social interaction and commerce is not capable of schooling children.  As a connected database of information, the way the internet was conceived, it could be an invaluable tool for research and learning.  Social media in and of itself has allowed the decline of human consciousness.  It is like a slumber party gone awry replete with rogue stalkers, bullies, and now murderers.  The best example of harmful content are sex sites.  Because America is a free nation, and because freedom often is a volatile, contentious, and arguable subject, there is malleability.  Without proper education, instruction given in a legitimate forum based upon bona fide scholarly information, opinions, viewpoints, and philosophies can stray to the aberrant.  The human condition requires and demands roots, and most of these roots are found in religion and in the writings of Jesus' disciples in the Bible.  America all but has discarded God and much organized religion, and the results should not be surprising.  Navigate to Chaturbate.com, and you will find the modern equivalent of Sodom and Gomorrah.  Pornography is a tenant of American freedom, and as Larry Flynt often would retort you don't have to look.  You can chose to ignore certain available freedoms in America.  These freedoms, often controversial, are what made America who and what she is.  Unfortunately America has lost her way, and that is because older generations of influential Americans are dying off.  As I watch these people die, it becomes clearer and clearer truly we are losing what once was our America.  I don't much like what is taking her place.  (but that is a different blog entry)  What bothers me the most is a modern lack of taste, style, elegance, sophistication, and beauty.  This lack of taste transcends boundaries, and ultimately it has degraded and undermined human sexuality.  The internet is not capable of replacing the farm upon which human animals must learn and develop.  Using the internet as such a community is a mistake, and one only has to take a look around to understand why.  The basics of human survival and existence have become skewed.  Our youth don't know what ground zero is.  I would be bold enough to say that most human pleasures have been so soiled, manipulated, and subverted it is difficult to find traditional human behavior.  We have deprived our youth of the things they have needed to develop into functional human beings.  Is watching unadulterated porn on the internet a representation of God-given human sexuality?  The answer is no, and anyone can continue to masturbate while chatting on the computer if they like.  This is not healthy behavior, because it prepares you for nothing except hedonism.  In addition the shock value of aberrant, gross, and startling sexual activity is empty and ultimately devoid of value.  The value of sexuality is what is learned while mitigating a sexual relationship with a partner in the context of a mature, monogamous, and hopefully loving partnership.  These attributes return their value exponentially, and they do not make use of an artificial video platform.  They are realized extemporaneously, in the flesh, and in real time with another human being.  The problem with this scenario is the farm upon which the human animal is supposed to be living and learning is no more.  It has been replaced with the internet and more specifically social media.  Once upon a time not that long ago one had to venture out to the video store to find stimulation.  One had to frequent the movie theater or a skating rink or a coffee shop.  The result was human interaction of some kind, not concocted, manipulated, and often illicit activity which harms the human psyche.  We are at a low point in human history, and it is tragic and sad that we have forsaken our younger generation.  For human sexual development to occur, very basic requirements are necessary.  These basic requirements have become the antithesis of capitalist ideals.  No longer do we really consider the human entity and its emotional needs.  Simply we exploit as quickly and as quietly the monetary potential of our youth.  Instead of giving them what schools once provided, a neutral and nurturing environment in which to develop, we give them laptops.  Laptops feel nothing unlike children.  Until we remember the importance and substance of human feeling, we will continue to flounder.  The reason why our youth are confused about gender, is because they are deprived of the farm upon which they would learn their identity through trial and error.  The basic requirement human beings needs is a neutral stage upon which to play out their individual drama.  Upon closer scrutiny this neutral stage actually is freedom, something which no longer exists in America.  The freedom to think, feel, and act with impunity against any ruling or dictating governance has been revoked by corporate America, because corporate America has become our government.  We have been too weak as a populace to notice and understand the significance of this siege, and it has been implemented by what has become the Republican party.  The plantation owner still is demanding his slaves how many years later?  

A Sad State of Affairs for America

 I am in my second day of not taking extra strength anti-fungal medication thanks to Covid 19.  (Google invasive candidiasis and you will find increasing information on many underlying causes of death from this particular Coronavirus.)  I have had four shots, and I have had Covid three times.  Each time I treated the underlying infection, both bacterial and fungal, and each time I recovered until I got Covid again.  Covid is a nasty, ruthless, manufactured killer, and I would like to know its instigator.  It smells Republican, because they are underhanded, selfish, and fraternal.  If they can't win fairly on the playing, they will change the rules without your knowing or tilt the field.  If they can't win a presidential election, they will try to commandeer it with lies and hearsay.  The interesting thing is some democrats seems reluctant to prosecute Trump.  They would rather sweep him under the rug and tell more lies about what he did.  This is very Republican.  Knowing that Covid is a manufactured disease means someone is responsible for its presence.  Those responsible for its presence are guilty of mass genocide upon the human race.  Sweeping Covid under the rug like Donald Trump is not an option.  It will behoove the human race to know who their assailant is.  You cannot fight an egregious foe without knowing who you are fighting.  That is what infuriates me the most, knowing the perpetrators of Covid are flying around incognito in their personal jets scot-free.  I cringe at the idea that no protections have been provided me from this continued assault.  I have received four "vaccines," and I am convinced they are not vaccines at all.  Merely they are antidotes, and now Pfizer is providing this antidote in a simple pill.  I never have heard anything more fucked up.  If Satan has made his way to this earth in human form, it would be as the perpetrator of Covid 19.  Meanwhile America wants to sweep Donald Trump under the rug.  Rest assured this world as we know it will not persevere much longer, and it is predicted in the Book of Revelations in the Bible.  If you are one with God.  If you have accepted Christ as your savior whether you are living or dead, you will be taken from this stricken and dying earth and transported to a new planet.  Those who do not accept Christ will be left to perish in the flames of Hades.  It will not be an enjoyable or in any way applauded death.  It will be agonizing, and there will be no glory in it.  The idea that those choosing to sin on earth eventually will be with their compatriots in hell playing cards with the devil is insane.   Those who choose to be cavalier, maverick, extreme, and irresponsible for the sake of public election in history will be cast as the ultimate losers and jeered for eternity.  That America as a nation has allowed this seduction to occur, painting bad boys as heroes, began with reality television.  The Academy Awards this year were nothing more than a rerun of a vague unpopular Jerry Springer show.  Chris Rock and Will Smith should be ashamed.  Now it is common to watch notable Americans melt down in public with hair dye streaming down their cheeks.  A cold break with America's media is the only answer, and it becomes a lonely challenging prospect understanding what is around us.  We reap what we sow, and America has sewn nothing.  Instead we have chosen to rape and pillage our youth, and consequently American society is a giant abyss with no capable skydivers.  We will dwindle into dust as will this earth, and life will begin anew on a new planet of God's making.  What a sad state of affairs.  What a sad "Conditions of America." 

Elitism in America

We, as the human race, have become distracted.  Heinous sex crimes that have proliferated among American celebrities have tainted heterosexuality.  Women have become so busy necessarily exposing and attempting to try and convict serial rapists, any time for healthy sexual interaction has been stymied.  Hollywood, once a stable fixture for the reinforcement of heterosexual romance, has wandered astray.  With the atrocities of Bill Cosby, Jeffry Epstein, and Harvey Weinstein, it would be difficult for most young aspiring actresses ever to trust men again.  These three men alone have demonized the male gender and whatever God-given, natural, sexual proclivities they may possess.  With wage inequality a fervent issue between the sexes, and the rise of LGBT rights (I don't even know what the extra letters stand for anymore), heterosexuality in modern America has become a thing of loathing.  "Kill the white man!"  "Kill the straight man!"  How do I find myself staunchly in this unfavorable category?  If anyone cared to look America all ready has had the sexual revolution, but it has shifted to the LGBT community.  All ready we have had the Feminist Movement, and its woman-centric doctrine.  All of it has happened before in previous American generations.  Where are we now?  The Civil War in the freeing of slaves, also diminished the natural blood line of America.  We don't talk in terms of genetics anymore.  We don't speak about bloodlines, families, and dynasties.  Only have we been programmed to accept everyone no matter how aberrant they may be.  This programming falls under the ruse of Christianity, but in reality it has planted disease in the human genome.  Many LGBT constituents are as lowly people as the rest of America.  Just because you declare yourself homosexual does not mean you have integrity.  The stark evidence of aberrant LGBT activity lies in the cruise industry.  Rest assured if you couldn't make it on land in America, you will try being on the open sea.  With over sixty nationalities represented and not much democracy, it is easy to fly under the radar with whatever conflicted plan of life you have.  What has happened in America is simple.  Our blood line has become infected.  Those in control have seen fit to diminish the quality of Americans through various avenues.  It has been ethnic cleansing not unlike what has happened in many other countries including Nazi Germany and Bosnia Herzegovina.  The elites or aristocrats don't like peasants, and see them as expendable.  Instead of helping Americans empower themselves and build a stronger America, we have been assaulted.  It began with the food source, it continued through lack of control of pollution in our environment, it denied us adequate education through public means, and now we are the victims of an overt attack on our health through a deadly pathogen.  It couldn't get much more difficult, seeing as this assault largely is unrecognized.  Americans can't stomach the idea that the last vestige of freedom in the world, America, now is a battleground rather than a refuge.  No longer are we taking applications.  With Trump came the closed borders of exclusivity.  The problem is, when you assault the entire American population, eventually it will flounder.  Any chance at becoming a strong, profitable, hard-working nation is moot.  The proof has become after two  years of Covid lock downs, America is finding it difficult to resurrect a viable work force.  Even if we did want to work and become profitable, all odds have risen against us.  America as a free nation has taken blows to the knees, and it has been purposeful.  Who is behind this attack?  Is it China?  Is it Iran?  Is it Saudi Arabia?  Is if Russia?  Many nations hate us, so take your pick.  The only way to save America, the real America, is to salvage humanity and what it needs to prosper.  There is no short cut.  There never has been.  People need clean air, clean water, nutritious food, proper sanitation, opportunity, and social mobility.  Once America afforded these things, when we embraced her population as a the home team.  Somehow the people of this America have become the opponent to the managerial elite.  They don't want to invest in us.  They don't like us, and they don't care.  That would be Mitch McConnell.  

DAK Closed in 2013 in Brunswick Country

I just can't get on with my day, until I write what I am feeling.  I don't have a Broadway musical as a voice, but I do have a prospectus for one.  Life in the trenches (I mean in a tin can). (I mean "at sea").  I really mean life in the close confines of a sailing ship (and the word "sailing" is figurative).  Life working for the cruise industry has its ups and downs.  For musicians mostly it is compromise.  There is little chamber music, although once Carnival did employ a classical trio.  There is not much jazz, because those who can play jazz more than not would not choose to work in the close confines of a metal cruise ship.  It doesn't represent the "jazz" lifestyle, which is an anachronism in America.  After watching two top shelf Hollywood-produced films yesterday, certainly "The Golden Age" of either film or television also is an anachronism.  It was almost unbearable the emotional and artistic content of these movies.  It is something we have lost as a culture, but these things do happen.  As someone who has lived six American decades, the loss seems unbearable.  There is nothing to replace it.  I only ask myself why would commercial flights be flying over the city of Fayetteville, instead of turning right and flying over a more rural geographic region east of the Cape Fear River?  What could be there that would have enough influence to lobby the FAA and have traditional flight paths changed after decades of usage?  There is only one conclusion.  It is not modest housing communities on Cedar Creek Road.  For a scant moment I thought it might be affluence in Eastover or at Cypress Golf Club.  Wealthy people live in these areas, and the more enlightened would have an opinion about low-flying aircraft.  With the convenient and indispensable aid of GOOGLE maps, the answer is clear.  It is a Mexican-owned PET plant now serviced by the Norfolk Southern Railroad.  Let me clarify.  It is DAK Americas, a manufacturer of thermoplastics.  DAK closed their Brunswick Country facility in 2013.  Ask why?  Ask why they are situated conveniently on the banks of the Cape Fear River.  Ask why the Fayetteville plant remains.  Ask why for some uncanny reason incoming and outgoing air traffic at Grannis Field now run LEFT and fly directly over downtown Fayetteville instead of turning right and sparing citizens a thermal blast of carbon monoxide and soot.  Is the eastern bank of the Cape Fear River so pristine so that it merits these kid gloves?  I'd say they are polluting like Chemours, and with no aerial observation they can get by with it.    

God Save This Planet, Please!

I have a lot about which to complain, and it is tiring.  I don't like to spend my time complaining, because it distracts you from progress.  My emotions are fairly accurate, so when I can't muster my own self-fulfilled happiness I have to figure out what is amiss.  Most often it is something happening around me.  I possess a keen instinct for truth, and without consciously hearing or seeing news often I can discern what is in the air.  That is why they say, "It is in the air."  In New Orleans the music is, "In the air."  You can feel it, because literally sound in its best sense is feeling.  Sounds waves travel in the air, air moves, and thus it moves the listeners senses.  Calling this extra sensory perception may be a misnomer.  Simply it means your instincts are working, and as human beings we have the ability to sense reality in different ways.  One thing I don't like is being surveilled.  No one would, but after 9/11 George W. Bush created his Department of Homeland Security.  A presidential declaration of war approved by Congress opens pandora's box for governmental overreach.  A president can pretty do much whatever he wants in the name of war.  The Patriot Act got passed, the NSA was expanded, and everyone in America became a suspect.  The government has been monitoring citizens ever since.  Today it is difficult to separate government, military, and corporate America.  In these here parts they are almost one entity.  Fully I understand Apache helicopters with Longbow targeting systems.  Fully I disagree with the widespread implementation of millimeter wave phased array radar and G5 wireless protocol.  Phased array radar is much more powerful and produces more heat than traditional radar.  It is many transmitters bundled as one antenna, and they are steerable by phase shifting their signals.  These devices are in the nose cones of military aircraft, they are in Elon Musk's Starlink satellites, and they were developed at the HAARP facility in Alaska mainly to transmit low frequency radio waves through the ionosphere.  If the world feels hotter to you, it probably is.  A feeling of being monitored or surveilled isn't a pleasant one.  How I know is when I do specific things such as talk out loud, play music, or otherwise be human, I feel something in the air respond to me stimulus.  There is a simple answer for this annoying nuisance.  It is the AN/TQP 53 built by Lockheed Martin.  Just about all military activity produces infrasonic refuse.  Helicopters and military transport planes are a fact of life, but I don't have to like them flying over our house.  Now that ISR, Intelligence, Surveillance, and Reconnaissance are such a huge trend in the defense industry with sensors galore, the air is filled with aberrant electricity of many frequencies accompanied by its complimentary magnetism.  Not all of it is electromagnetic, but much of it is.  I didn't put two and two together until I saw a short video cip of the AN/TQP 53 in operation.  It spins, so it is similar to Doppler radar.  I thought it was aimed directly at the enemy.  This would explain the modulation effect its produces on infrasound waves.  The Taos Hum was similar in that there was a slow modulation of its signal.  Maybe it would be flattering to think someone thought your activity interesting enough to monitor.  I'm sure John Lennon did not feel this way, and they killed him.  Richard Nixon hated John Lennon, because perhaps he had more influence on America than him, the President.  Now he's dead from some concocted theory.  American "intelligence" agencies are good at digging in the dirt and recruiting malcontents, degenerates, and otherwise unsavory would-be criminals.  I am positive the Nixon Administration had John Lennon killed, because he was a quintessential pain in their arse.  They blamed it on some poor schmuck, and the world lost a musical icon.  I don't like Big Brother commenting on my activity, because it breaches my right to privacy afforded in the United States Constitution.  Infrasound in general does the same thing.  It connects together otherwise unconnected things, such as people in homes.  I would rather not hear my neighbors voices in my own home, especially after we have spent thousands of dollars on insulating materials.  Unfortunately our neighbors have not done the same.  Many have the same antiquated single-pane glass windows, rock wool batting, and nothing else.  We on the other hand have modernized our sixty year old home.  The realization that pine pollen travels right through the walls as does infrasound is not pleasant.  The reality that our lives are made much worse by constant corporate and military pollution truly is an infringement of our civil rights.  We live in a war zone, and some activity is expected.  That CSX runs amuck, unregulated, and predatory belies explanation.  Tribal domination is barbaric behavior away from which humanity has grown, and yet still in third world counties with a lack of God's presence it festers.  Only the love found in Christianity can save this planet.  

The American Neo-Nazi Political Party

As a musician and keyboardist I have been through a handful of permutations of live-play rigs.  If and when you find yourself an employed working musician, the best way to ensure you stay that way is to have the best sound.  "The musician with the best sound wins, hands down."  In jazz music in particular sound, feeling, and interpretation become the holy trinity.  To play jazz you must swing.  To be listenable you must have a good sound.  To be artistic you must synthesize years of jazz history, personal perspective, and creative wisdom.  It is not called "America's True Art Form" for nothing, and it would be nice if the country began to recognize and understand that.  There is nothing to be afraid of from the "Jigs."  Black men and women, while susceptible to the same ills as everyone, don't carry the Voodoo curse.  What they do offer is the struggle of the African-American throughout our history.  Many would rather not listen to this story.  We can bury out head in the sand and ignore the extreme brutality of slavery and Jim Crow through the years.  It seems wise not to base our current reality solely on this scenario, but we should be cognizant of this history and more importantly understand what is possible in the human race.  Our tendencies can be extreme, violent, and antagonist when our souls are not nurtured.  Soul nurturing is something America has chosen to shift to another realm.  At America's inception you can believe we were engaged at a physical and environmental level.  "The Lost Colony" didn't survive.  Pure survival was paramount for early American, and it was enough.  As a nation we have become spoiled and complacent, and Covid 19 has spanked our ass.  Most of the useful and wise information garnered by previous generations has been shelved in a naive and narcissistic campaign of self worship.  This change in large has been promulgated by a small and evil faction actively who chose to exploit the youth of America.  Economic trends suggested teens had the most salient income in Capitalist America, so a conscious decision was made to exploit our children.  I would suggest Generation X and Z have been the most neglected generations in American history.  American society on purpose deprived them of the appropriate tools to survive ensuring a docile, naive, and spending future populace.  It is unconscionable.  When I see the confusion, ignorance, and hatred of America's youth, only can it be attributed to our own American society.  They are a product of what we have become.  In short the Republican siege, the communist attack on America is responsible.  Only during this extreme, violent, racist time has the nurturing of our youth been discarded.  In the last two decades I have watched notable figures in American culture die off with no one to replace them.  There is no one to fill these shoes, because the hard knocks school of success and Protestant work ethic have been abandoned for quick cheap fixes on iPhone apps.  Literally we have brainwashed our youth, but it is not too late.  If and when an individual decides not to be confused about their gender is when a transformation will take place.  We will realize currently solidarity isn't the answer, because we have few concepts over which to unite.  It is the new age of individualism, because we are on our own.  Certainly two years of extraneous, misleading, sometimes erroneous information about a life-threatening disease is enough to heighten our personal awareness.  We cannot reply upon Washington, the CDC, or Big Pharma, and without close scrutiny our state governments are nothing more than country clubs for the wealthy.  Not much has changed in America over the centuries, but Republicans would have you believe it.  The more things change, the more they stay the same.  It was been a long time since pure lies as propaganda was commonplace.  The Nazi party may be disguised as Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley, and Madison Cawthorn, but we are onto them.  

Our Modern Holocaust

I want to get this out of my system, because I don't like to complain.  I have been cast a complainer before, and you know what?  Twenty-five years ago in Cowtown it was for the exact same thing I have to complain about now.  First let me clarify my point of view.  I am a musician.  Musicians are different from everyone else, and America understood this once.  The main difference between a musician and an average person is, a musician is an artist.  What is an artist?  An artist is someone who chooses to study, reflect upon, and comment on the human condition.  They choose to express their own personal point-of-view through their chosen medium.  Most often this personal perspective also is an expression of emotion resultant from reaction to world stimulus.  Artists are compelled to express themselves with emotion through an aesthetic they have chosen.  Mine is music, and when and if I am lucky I get to purge my emotions through it.  Through the years I have developed my musical expression, and it encompasses different instruments and composition and arrangement.  I don't do much composing anymore, but I am compelled to keep playing.  I play our Hammond A-100 console organ in our den from time to time.  Organ has different aesthetics, and because my first love was jazz I play from that perspective.  I pay attention to black gospel organ, and whether it is jazz or church my organ playing happens at a deep cathartic level.  I am able to express my inner feelings on the Hammond organ.  I am a good improviser on trumpet, and I can play a funky groove on electric bass.  Jazz piano probably is my most accomplished field, but rarely do I have a chance to indulge in its mysteries.  Jazz is dead, and in the second most populated military city in America there are few venues for this mostly black music.  Music necessarily relies upon sound, and therefore audible sound is important to musicians.  Herein lies the first huge lie of Rock 'n' Roll.  "The check is in the mail."  Music while possible on an Sony Walkman, iPod, or in earbuds is most efficient, expressive, and successful at its mission when it is live.  That means live sound.  Live music.  That means instruments, amplifiers, and a P.A. system to broadcast sung vocals.  With the Covid lockdown many things changed.  Things all ready were changed in America's music industry.  The advent of the personal computer as a recording studio has had the most impact on the music industry.  Add Covid to the mix and musicians are recording in their closets and piping it to their band mates.  This is not the traditional path of music for most of the history of America.  In our history music was performed on street corners, on wharves, on sidewalks, in clubs, in churches, and eventually in theaters and stadiums.  The prevalence of live music in America has waned, and there are reasons.  There is an interesting dichotomy which exists that most people don't know about.  If told about it, most people choose not to listen.  When I was branded a complainer in Cowtown, people did not want to listen.  They did not understand the complexity of the issue I am about to describe.  America was built by the "Iron Horse," and the railroads were responsible for westward expansion across the Rocky Mountains eventually connecting the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.  It was an important accomplishment laying this rail, blasting tunnels, building trestles and creating infrastructure for America.  No one could or would discount the importance of the rail industry in America's vital history.  Consequently the sound of early steam locomotives shaped American history in many ways as did the sound of horses hooves.  The "chug-chug-chug" and "clop-clop-clop" created the rhythm upon which was based much early American popular music.  Both the tempo and kernel of rhythm were found in these defining ambient atmospheric sounds.  Without consciously thinking about it musicians began to emulate this feeling or aesthetic of newly emerging American life.  It helped create blues, ragtime, and jazz.  The steam train is ingrained in American consciousness as it should be.  For many decades the sentimentality of these trains remained.  Like all good things usually they come to an end.  The rail industry's transition to diesel was not so organic, but rest assured in musical circles this change was felt and mitigated.  This change from steam to diesel is a major marker in American history, and enough has not been said about it.  Imagine this long-standing, sentimental, and nostalgic backbone of America, then imagine its extinction and replacement with something much more volatile.  This transition all ready was represented by the compositional style of "Expressionism."  Composers needed a new way to express the changing life of the world, and so they chose the cacophonous sounds of modern cities.  They emulated these sounds in their newly developed compositional style.  The trouble is most people never have transitioned to such an abstract notion of music.  They prefer the familiar and melodious strains of popular tunes to the challenging polyrhythms and dissonance of modern American music.  For me it was a logical transition in my field of study.  American jazz music would have had a tough time competing with the sheer power of diesel.  Thus amplification came into vogue and Rock was born.  The sheer ability to amplify one's musical sounds above the noise of the city was indispensable.  Like the "chug-chug-chug" and "clop-clop-clop" that came before it, American found new patterns upon which to base its expression.  Music necessarily had to grow balls to have a chance of survival.  This gave rise to several decades of intense, prolific, rewarding popular music in America.  Music at this time truly was a reflection of society and its successes and failures.  The music industry became the moral conscience of America.  That no longer is the case, and we have lost this trusted companion.  We have lost this companion, because we no longer have this symbiotic relationship of sound.  We have lost track of sound, and we have been raped with sound.  America today conversely is is a sea of non discriminant noise with no viable or logical definition.  No wonder people are crazy and on drugs.  There is no sound in our environment that represents humanity or spirituality.  Instead we hear noise, and often we don't "hear" it at all.  Most often today in modern America, the biggest detriment we face is inaudible sound, infrasound created by huge, hulking, diesel prime movers.  This onslaught has occurred on the down low the same way the emergent, far-right, extremist Republican party has tried to introduce communism in America.  They are sneaky these Republicans, and so far we have not learned the lesson.   I began complaining about this radiation as soon as I realized its source.  It took a while to arrive at this conclusion, about the same amount of time it took to locate the source of the Taos Hum.  Interestingly they are the same thing.  The Taos Hum continues all over the world, although the moly mine eventually went bankrupt in New Mexico.  About what residents complained in Taos, New Mexico is what is plaguing the world today.  It is intense, never-ending, ruthless, mind-numbing radiation of the third kind.  If you only choose to remember Thomas the Train, that is understandable.  Most things the Republicans have implemented are so egregious and heinous, we would have a difficult time accepting, like the Holocaust.