The Emotional Muse, Help or Hindrance?

How exactly did my personal life come crashing down back in the day?  It was pretty simple, although when you are engaged in it you are not able to step back and objectively see what is happening to you.  The first half of my life I lived with my heart.  Back in the l980's the cultural dynamic in America supported such an existence.  Movies were about romance.  Music was about romance.  It was the expected protocol.  You looked for your soulmate.  You expected to be in love.  It was what we did in America.  I would learn years later living such a way actually can kill you.  When you come to expect all of those things from another person, suddenly when you do not have them you can fall apart.  Actually what happens is when you have a great deal of emotional and spiritual interaction with another person, when you lose the ability to be able to actualize those same feelings, depression occurs.  Depression is like a dark blanket of nonexistence.  It happens because of a human being's inability to feel emotion.  Now that's a predicament.  We are made human because of this ability to feel emotion, yet it is powerful enough to kill us.  It took me quite a long time to figure this out.  Among other things I suddenly did not have the outlet for sexual expression which for me at that time was intertwined with both my personal and artistic expression.  Really it all was the same thing.  It was nice while it lasted, but it didn't.  Having to contend with a sudden lack of sexual expression in addition to losing my once viable musical career created my personal wave of depression that last almost four years.  I was able to start a new phase of music by enrolling in the D.M.A program in composition at The Ohio State University.  It was difficult moving to Columbus, but I stuck it out.  To solve my depression dilemma I had to change myself.  I had to change my 80's type of romantic notions in lieu of something more relevant.  I discarded love as I had known in in a romantic capacity, and took control of my life.  From now on I got to chose what feelings I would feel.  This was a catharsis emotionally and musically.  This choice greatly augmented my compositional ability.  No longer did I harvest what I was feeling with no conscious control of it.  Now I would make myself feel the way I wanted.  Not to say I stopped harvesting positive emotion when it was available.  When I began composing again while working on ships, I used the close quarters of the ships and thus the crew to inspire me to write music.  I would find a woman with a positive vibration or aura an try to personify that in a piece of music.  Therefore I ended up with quite a few pieces named after women.  "Adrienne," "Ana," "Callifornia," "Erin," and more.  These spiritual vibrations were very important providing inspiration for each work.  I will never forget when studying with Dr. Dick Goodwin at the University of South Carolina how he scorned me for recognizing an inspiration as a viable basis for composition.  Without a concept how can one write anything?  Without a plan, an idea, or a desire what you write inevitably will be contrived as was some of his music.  Fervently but quietly I disagreed and continue writing music that had a deep emotional connection with myself.  Was this selfish, or was it Romantic as in the traditional definition of this style of European music?  Screw it. I was the composer, so I could do what I wanted.  That's part of the beauty of it. In a contemporary music program, one does not have to adhere to the rules of schooled composition or rather the methods of J.S. Bach.  Many people over the years have felt Bach's extreme piety was oppressive, and that is understandable.  Expressing the trials and tribulations of Jesus is lofty subject matter.  Many also never really understand the crucifixion of God's son Jesus was an example of humanity's ultimate sacrifice.  This was a sacrifice when compared to those of our own.  Having a concept in one's music is what makes it logical and therefore discernible by human beings.  There is an affective, spiritual, and emotional side of human beings that we completely do not control. Grappling with this quality which is professed by Jesus to make us more God-like is a life long's work.  It has been for me because without it, what would music be?  Boring.  At the same time it has been troublesome, especially when the emotional expression becomes anachronistic.  The world around us evolves as do we.  Therefore we constantly must monitor our emotional selves for controversy.  At times we much change.  What has become difficult for me is that several valid forms of music at which I excel rapidly are fading from America.  For this reason many jazz musicians see Paris, France as a more nurturing environment for their art.  This is aggravating to me.  Why should I have to move to a foreign country to pursue my music career?  Like your emotional psyche it seems we also can outgrow our countries.  The only logical conclusion I can draw about my musical output is that it is suited for film.  That is the only medium which openly allows and promotes the expression of deep feeling, except for traditional theater.  Of course poetry seeks to do the same thing, and often there is music involved.  

A.B.D or All But Dead?

Somehow I have been involved with academia most of my life.  Partly it is because both of my parents were teachers.  I'm not sure if I ever really wanted to become a teacher, but I pursued a music education degree because it was prudent.  Evidently back in the day it was clear that trying to
nurture an economically rewarding music career was dubious.  Completely I ignored this dogma eventually finding my way into a D.M.A. program in music composition.  Previous were the B.M.E. and a Masters in Jazz and Commercial Music, one of the first degrees of its kind in the late l980's.  Today I choose not to remember any of it, because along the way the truthfulness of the heartache and sorrow attached to pursuing a music career came to fruition.  I personally do not have any regrets for pursuing music.  It was my chosen path most probably by the Creator.  As a composer all I have had to do was open my heart, my ears, and eventually my mind to receive the breath of God as Beethoven said, or at least Beethoven as played by Ed Harris in the film "Copying Beethoven."  I believe him.  Music is the breath of God, or at least most of it.  Today it is the breath of evil as many conventional cultural aesthetics have become.  Specifically in America the intrinsic but not inherent building blocks of our artistic, intellectual, philosophical and spiritual beliefs have become corrupt.  How can I make the determination, me a lowly classical and jazz composer and performer?  Simply because I have the academic credentials to be able to assess such an opinion which correlates directly to nine years of collegiate music study.  At one time a degree from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill meant something. It did during my tenure.  Unfortunately with the appointment of former Chancellor Holden Thorp that academic standard collapsed along with the reputation of that once fine institution.  For me graduation from Chapel Hill was the most difficult thing I ever accomplished next to playing the piano in the orchestra on cruise ships.  My Masters degree was fun but not difficult.  I was hired as a G.T.A. or Graduate Teaching Associate, therefore I got a stipend and free tuition to teach a few courses.  One responsibility was directing the second jazz ensemble, which I did for two years.  When the Coordinator of Jazz Studies died from a brain tumor I was re-hired as an adjunct faculty member temporarily to cover for his absence.  In this capacity I taught private jazz piano lessons and a course in jazz improvisation.  Also I performed with the Left Bank Big Band, the University of South Carolina's top swing band both on piano and trumpet.  Because I do not have the opportunities to do such anymore, I choose not to remember this period of time.  Also losing that adjust faculty position to an Eastman graduate the next year turned my life upside down.  It did more than that.  After a rewarding seven years being involved in music at the academic level, I found myself playing in a wedding band in Columbia, South Carolina.  That was it.  The band I founded and led to win the semi-finals of the Hennessy Cognac jazz search featuring saxophonist Chris Potter no longer existed.  My connection to a university level music education program was severed.  My personal life came crashing down for a plethora of reasons, not all of which were my fault.  Never did I want to be a music star.   Always simply I have wanted to be able to use my music talents to their best ability satisfying my own soul at the same time.  Somehow today that has been curtailed.  I feel the aberration of the American's traditional value system is responsible.  Somehow the gifts I have been given by God feel wrong to me now.  When I indulge in music protocols that make me feel good and satisfy my spiritual longing, my environment makes me feel the opposite.  Now what used to satisfy me at these deep levels creates heartache and even depression.  It is about this process I am writing to try and discover its cause and nature.  I acutely have been aware of this cause for several years, but I am beginning to forget.  Thus I have begun to try and function that way I have traditionally my entire life until my father suffered a stroke and no longer could remember me as a musical ally.  Instead he began to view me as a severe threat to his own musical existence.  I became the enemy, and I am not sure to this day if that still is not the case.  My father turned 85 years old this week, and although he is unable to do anything for himself other than see and listen still his selfishness for his own happiness is pervasive.  He quietly, almost silently, intensely is bereaved at the loss of his musical expression.  So am I.  It would seem logical if what I am feeling really is what he is feeling.  I discovered this a few years ago and made a conscious decision NOT to pursue music when in close proximity to my parents.          It shielded me from the almost incapacitating grief I would feel at the loss of my own opportunities in the field of music.  As a wise man I deducted my personal opportunities would return at the appropriate time and the appropriate place.  Lately I have failed at following my own rule.  I have begun to think it is possible and okay for me to pursue my music interests without hindrance, resistance, or competition.  What it has caused me is acute disappointment.  I look around and see the rest of the world engaged in their processes, and I am not.  I am not composing.  I am not performing.  What I am doing is organizing the many parts of my life that have become scattered after working on cruise ships for over a decade.  Luckily or rather unluckily I almost have completed that process.  Now for the first time I am bored.  While I have access to most of my tools of music, I do not have a studio integrating them all.  They are spread around with no one work space.  While I am capable of being pragmatic about that, I have yet to come to terms with the realization my joy at making music is my father's grief at losing his.  This must be the reason why now I feel pain and anguish at the things once that provided me so much joy and fulfillment.  It is difficult.  It is difficult being 51 years old and single, not for loneliness but for the complete and utter lack of a personal support system for myself other than me.  I am and always have been a strong person, but not having a single person in this world that is willing to understand me is difficult.  With the inclusion of this "father" issue and its effects upon my musical vocation, my opportunities to be musically viable have shrunk to almost nothing.  Still I peck away at it knowing in the future these things will come back to me, but America is not making that easy.  It makes me angry the my vocation for music has become extinct.  Now I now exactly how the jazz musicians felt when their field of music was overtaken by Rock 'n' Roll.  What you have done and have been respected for for years suddenly now was not valued anymore by mainstream society.  Slowly this has happened to music in America.  Understandably it has happened before now, and I guess as it is supposed to.  Crooning music from the l940's no longer is fashionable today.  Neither is big band swing dance music.  Upon examination most of the more viable forms of American music have become extinct or at least dormant.  How is it that today in the year 2014 America has changed so much from her roots?  How is it we have gone from Dorothy Dandridge to Miley Cyrus being dry humped by Santa Claus?  This tendency only can be correlated to the lack of an effective educational system in America.  Our schools have failed by their misadministration by the government.  I think this misadministration has been purposeful simply to dumb down the American people.  Consequently we have not trained workforce even if we did possess the jobs to hire it.  We are a shite state of affairs.  Our entire nation continually has devolved during my lifetime robbing me of the opportunities my parents had.  America has fallen from grace as the pinnacle of freedom to the world.  We instead are a debacle of confusion, evil, and selfishness which contends Satan's return to earth all ready has occurred.  It is unnerving confronting that obstacle everyday.  How did I get this?

Is jazz Dead?

I awoke a few days ago asking myself the question why I did not seem to have a feeling of familiarity with my surroundings.  I looked around my room, and then the idea suddenly popped into my head.  I had spent many years of my life studying and playing jazz music, more specifically on the piano and the trumpet.  Jazz piano.  Then it dawned on me the feeling inherent in most jazz music was what was eluding me. Upon reflection it has been on the decline and most recently absent from most American music.  Is this what happens when jazz dies in the bottom of a liquor bottle?  I carried a torch for this music, until my wisdom said it no longer was prudent to waste my time trying to be a professional jazz pianist.  Of course I have been.  I have made a living from playing music in many styles including jazz, Afro-Cuban, R&B, Hip Hop, and Beach music.  It always has been in one's best interest to do more than one thing, as it is more likely you will gain employment from a variety of musical options.  Over the years jazz seems to have disappeared from my offerings.  Thus the feeling that accompanies jazz music has been absent.  Like any prudent person I merely have regrouped and persevered with very few questions why I had lost such an opportunity.  When I awoke on this particular day, I realized I personally did not want to lose this feeling.  It was a feeling I had had the majority of my life, and it had provided a feeling of comfort and familiarity in my surroundings.  As I think about where I am now, I realize there is zero reinforcement of the aesthetic of jazz music anywhere near me.  I do not see jazz on television like I once did.  When I turn on the local "jazz" radio station what I hear is pop fodder.  Then I asked myself why jazz piano provided this feeling.  Lately I have been pursuing the publishing of my own piano music but in a contemporary classic style.  I decided while working on ships that writing music that could be read and understood by any classically trained pianist was a more prudent option for its discovery than music holding a torch for an improvising group in a style that seems to have become dormant in America.  With jazz music one needs musicians that are trained in this highly specific artistic music.  It requires many skills which are developed over decades rather than years.  With contemporary classical music all of it can be read and understood by most any reading pianist.  It is this upon which I have become focused over the years discarding jazz and it accompanying feeling.  I realized on this particular day I did not have to lose the feeling of jazz, because America no longer seemed to be supporting it.  Then I asked myself the question how does jazz music need to be preserved and thus continually presented to America for its enjoyment.  Then I thought of regular classical music of course which itself is a misnomer.  What the populace calls classical music really is music from many different stylistic periods mostly from Europe and Russia.  They include the Baroque, Classic and High Classic, Romantic, and Twentieth Century among others.  Rarely do we get to hear music from the Medieval Period or the Renaissance.  Also rarely do we get to hear "New" music.  It became clear to me that this music has maintained the test of time because it professionally composed, professionally published, and professionally performed.  Above all it is supported by a populace which highly values it.  Then I asked myself why jazz does not have the same support.  Primarily it was because to perform jazz music, a unique skill set is necessary that is unrelated to the realization of classical music.  Often in our academic institutions which teach music, jazz and classical curriculums are separate because of this and this separation always has been a point of contention in music education.  I always felt it was exaggerated, because I myself was trained in classical piano but later became a jazz pianist.  There is room for both.  The grift is it takes many years to master both.  I am lucky I had spent the years necessary to study jazz performance including composition, arranging, and improvisation.  These things are second nature to me, but they now are dormant because I am not using them.  When I do indulge in the jazz process, now it seems very unsettling to me.  I feel like my inner most vulnerabilities are exposed to an untrusting environment.  Ironically when I play through the very piano music I am focusing upon now, the feelings I have expressed in it also seem extremely vulnerable.  Between these two musical aesthetics why do they both feel uncomfortable and inappropriate?  As a composer and artist my prudence immediately would say it is because it is time to move on to the next thing.  This would equate to a composer's next style period.  All prudent musicians and composers recognize this is necessary.  You constantly must be on the move to develop and expand.  My problem is why should I have to discard two extremely relevant forms of music which have become part of my soul?  It is because they are not being reinforced in my immediate environment.  Not only is jazz music and its representative feeling not being reinforced in America, my personal music, an expression of my thoughts and feelings also is not being represented.  It would seem I am up the creek without a paddle.  If I indulge in the music of my past, it seems discarded by America.  It I indulge in the music I have created to reinforce myself, it also is unsupported.  In other words America does not seem to "get" either one and their representative feelings.  What?  When faced with the choice I turn back to classical music, because it is being reinforced somewhere.  The great masterworks of the past still seem to be revered and played somewhere either on FM radio or in concert halls.  Jazz music on the other hand has fallen by the wayside, probably because the musicians needed to perform it affectively no longer exist.  I have seen the seminal jazz musicians die off one at a time, and it always has been painful to me.  With the passing of each inherently I knew America would be losing a particular jazz aesthetic, since our academic institutions no longer seem to be supporting them.  Instead another kind of music has thrived.  It should be called folk music, although that would be a disservice to the traditional category of folk music that once was an extremely communicative and viable art form in America.  This newer folk music rather would be defined as, "Being able to be performed by the folk, folk meaning uneducated musically."  Accessible.  Basic. Not inspired.  America's once viable commercial music market has been transformed from one of art to one of folk.  Like karaoke it has begun to indulge the listener's ego rather than his affective and intellectual side.  I cannot upon reflection understand how this has happened other than to see America for what it has become.  Capitalist.  I realized on that day I awoke jazz piano immediately is satisfying.  Unlike some classical music the listener almost immediately can feel something the construct of jazz music.  The earthy sound of an old piano, an acoustic bass, a breathy tenor saxophone, and a very specialized jazz trap set have the unique ability to move listeners almost with its timbres alone.  Put America's Popular Songbook upon it and you have a viable music force with which to be reckoned.  The problem is corporate America does not want this.  They also do not want this power to move listeners and therefore minds and souls to be invested in Rock 'n' Roll.  They want to be able to produce music and control it themselves.  This has proven to be an iconic failure of America's founding institutions, and it will continue until something changes. Corporate America does not want the music industry to possess the power to change minds.  My solution has been to hunker down and continue on my musical path incognito.  I do and will do musically what is necessary to me without the recognition of corporate America or the listening public.  It feels strange and uncomfortable waking up without the comfort I have had my entire life.  Go figure.

The Affordable Care Bubble?

When past president Bill Clinton ran for president in the early l990's, I supported him.  For every American to be able to own their on home seemed like a reasonable and desirable campaign promise.  Unfortunately over two decades later the real socio-economic ramifications of that promise have come full circle.  In short that promise almost instantaneously created the "Housing Bubble."  A good natured promise to help Americans was manipulated by the wealthy to further create their own wealth.  How did a campaign promise become such a thing?  It was the reason his wife Hillary Clinton was not able to pass universal health coverage during his presidency.  Unfortunately ideas generated for the betterment of Americans must be well thought out protocols and procedures for implementation through either private are governmental business structures.  With this in mind it is remarkable to me that our first African-American president was able to accomplish such a thing.  I tried to read through the legislation today, although it only was a representative document published for public use.  It was not the real law, as itself stated.  At almost one thousand pages I passed, like most people.  My common sense says to me that one's income will determine the amount of a governmental subsidy available to purchase health coverage either private or sponsored by the government.  As I looked over the comprehensive list of plans one thing came to mind.  It seemed as if I would be paying premiums monthly while still paying my own health care costs.  Why?  The deductibles were so large that the average person needing few  doctor visits or prescriptions never would get past it.  They would be paying out of their own pocket until something chronic occurred or until there was a medical crisis.  I do understand this is the way insurance works.  The healthy pay for the sick.  It is a calculated risk.  I'm not sure this is the best way to take care of Americans.  It seems this is a way to make both the medical establishment and their accompanying pharmaceutical companies rich.  Other countries that offer affordable health care often pay for and by the individual service of a doctor or clinic.  The prices without the intervention of "Big Insurance" are reasonable and represent the actual service and equipment used.  That is not the way of the United States.  When I was uninsured and  passed a kidney stone for the first time, I learned this lesson.  Later when I did so again, I learned that it did not take a five thousand dollar visit to the Emergency Room to handle this inconvenient biological function.  It took one shot of Demerol, a day off work, and as much bottled water as I could drink.  The trumped up drug fees, the MRI fee, the doctor's bill, and the ER bill not really were helping me cope with what I now understand as a routine malady.  They were padding their own pockets.  Protocols such as this are what have founded sub-cultural processes in America.  If our own intended systems honestly do not look after us, Americans must turn elsewhere.  This solely is the basis for the drug trade in America.  If people no longer feel good because their environment has become polluted, they must resort to some type of anodyne to replace this once available ability to feel good or normal.  Why people feel abnormal is put on them.  No one in America including our governmental systems will be accountable the massive amount of pollution being created by corporate giants.  Getting back to past President Bill Clinton for a moment, one of his implemented policies is a metaphor for such irresponsibility.  On one hand he claimed to balance the federal budget with this idea, subsequently he created single-handedly what seems to be today our most viable American commodity, wireless communications.  Is/was this a good idea?  If you are an adolescent that is dependent upon their Droid, Blackberry, or Smart Phone, I guess the answer is yes.  Certainly it is for Apple, Verizon and the others.  Contrarily as the Housing Bubble proved, these ideas implemented and corrupted over time can be devastating to our country.  Who knew when President Clinton pledged that each and every American should and would be able to own their on home, the "Establishment" would begin a process of making themselves rich happily by providing such a service.  Real estate prices doubled overnight, the tried and true vetting process for offering credit was discarded, and Wall Street brokers began pooling and selling these high risk mortgages as hedge funds for their own huge economic rewards.  Over time the trend could not sustain itself, because it not was based upon sound economic philosophy.  It was corrupted for the gain of a few wealthy elite.  Unfortunately all of that money once in active circulation in our economy now sits idle in Swiss and Grand Cayman bank accounts.  The holders of this cash refuse to reinvest it back in the economy of America, because we have no tangible gross national product.  The era of moving money around and making money from money is over.  The country is left searching for our socioeconomic and philosophic roots.  Fortunately the wireless communication's bubble seems not to exist, so other than the rapid decline of Apple at Steve Job's absence there will not be much fall out with the loss of the glorified "Walkie Talkie."  On the other hand there is a remarkable similarity between Bill Clinton's past presidential election promise and the Affordable Care Act.  By requiring each and every American to purchase health coverage, it is plausible and quite probable without the proper governmental oversight the medical establishment and its accompanying insurance industry also will corrupt the system for their own gain.  Because all ready our system of health coverage is cumbersome, excessive, and constructed for the good of the establishment rather than the American people, why would this force suddenly change?  I feel this is the major concern of the opponents of "Obamacare."  It is a valid worry.  All ready we have seen the ramifications of the legislation.  Policies are either being cancelled or the premiums raised.  Why?  Secondly with an American economy in shambles from three overseas wars under past president George W. Bush, whence do these subsidies come?  Shortly after being elected president, Ronald Reagan lowered the federal income tax percentage for the highest earning sector.  Previous to his presidency the federal tax on the highest earning tax bracket was seventy percent.  SEVENTY PERCENT.  That meant the wealthy were supporting the country.  Now the same wealthy Americans, instead of re-investing their now surplus capital back into the American economy, are sitting on it.  In what do they have to invest?  That is the question.  Health care?

'Obamacare' or 'Nigger?'

With the constant decline of quality of American news media, still it is difficult to understand why this media seems only to pander to the adolescent age group.  "Obamacare?"  How can a federal law enacted by America's first African-American president be reduced to a pseudonym?  While it is understandable there is much contention over the law between political parties, how is it that America has reduced this misunderstanding to sheer mudslinging?  "Obamacare?"  That word in my eyes is synonymous with "Nigger."  The same cultural class that would choose to use such a demeaning racial slur thus must be responsible for the coining of the term "Obamacare?"  Is it that they are too lazy or disrespectful to take the time to try to understand the legislation?  This is becoming increasingly more difficult in light of our currently constantly declining new media.  While "spin" is not a new concept and possibly has been a component of the White House for decades, misreporting of the news has become commonplace.  Lying in fact has become commonplace.  One only has to watch right wing television news to see this in full effect.  It seems the need for immediate gratification has usurped the tried and true practice in news reporting of checking and double checking your multiple sources.  This deficiency almost has curtailed my following of the news on the internet, not to mention that there is a stark absence of any positive news.  It seems local newspapers also have fallen prey to this more tabloid type of reporting.  Is social networking responsible for this downfall?  Is it that adolescent disposable income is the only income available to the remnants of America's gross national product?
Who can argue that America's youth are and have been food for America's established economic powers?  It is despicable.  "Obamacare?"  We as a nation are too ignorant to say the phrase, "Healthcare dot gov.?"  Keywords, soundbites, or hash tags are abbreviations for an adolescent America that do not have time to form a paragraph.  The fees on their cell phones are too expensive to allow a complete expression of thought.  Did we as a populace choose to live this truncated existence uttering phrases of incoherence?  It is comedic, but it should not be.  What should become clear is we as a nation have regressed on all fronts to a superficial existence of the wealthy preying on the children of America.  While there should be and has been a process of social networking via media, it cannot replace the true mechanisms of American society.  The internet if anyone will recall originally was a connecting of academic data bases to share data on the development of the atomic bomb.  Scholarly or educational information was the basis of the internet, not social networking.  This is how I learned at The Ohio State University, yet it is difficult for me to remember.  Having not been affiliated with an academic institution for over a decade, it is unnerving to have become at the mercy of commercial America.  I remember when using the Apple Macintosh computer, if you took the time to learn the operating system you could have control of your machine.  This included software bundling, software updates, and networking.  Never would your computer take it upon itself to download an update without your consent.  This concept while novel to trustworthy computers has opened the door to spyware and other malicious programs meant to steal or destroy your information.  What is it we are so busy doing to have forgotten how to take the time to learn our systems?  Is it because manufacturers do not want us to learn them, because then we would become content with them and not buy the next newest thing?  As NPR has reported recently the richest ten percent of Americans are earning ninety percent of our income.  There has become no middle class.  All I can say is eventually America will fall prey to the same governmental ills as other older nations.  We in our generation somehow have sidestepped the tumultuous uprising of Americans against unfair government or social rule.  All I can say is it seems like due time.  Better pick up a hoe or an axe.

Pop Has the Drop!

 

            In the l980’s when I grew up there was no pop.  Michael Jackson was the “King of Pop,” but the musical genre pop almost was nonexistent.  Therefore I was immune to it.  It was fantastic.  Instead I learned other styles of music upon which to base my professional

keyboard playing skills.  Among these were Motown with which I never had a problem.  Then again North and South Carolina were a Mecca for beach music.  It is a colloquial style unto itself which integrated tuneful melodies, rich harmonic progressions, and a steady shuffle like rhythm that lent itself to the couple’s dance the “Shag.”  The music was romantic and intimate, thus the communities that utilized it were a close-knit body

of upper middle classed beach dwellers.  During that time in which I was learning my

keyboard craft, I was not fond of this music.  I was a jazz musician, and this simplistic style seemed vanilla.  It was not until decades later I learned to appreciate the lessons I learned from this music.  First like disco and southern rock it utilized

the keyboard as a rhythmic anchor.  It did not, like pop, use the strumming of the guitar.  It had the rhythmic feel of the piano which associated logically with both classical music and jazz.  With this pianistic spacing of notes, I never had to do battle with a rhythm

section that purposely compressed the rhythmic subdivision.  This is what pop does, and consequently the way it is articulated creates a façade that gives the illusion of a skilled and talented musical performance.  In fact it is devoid of the one element that defines music, discernable time.  Pop effectively like smooth jazz has created its own fake stage upon which modern music today is being pitched.  The understanding, skill, and passion once that was necessary for music performance has been circumvented in lieu of selfish, short-sighted, shallow egotism.  The movement has been implemented with such skill and planning most of America does not seem to notice the huge vacuum of real human musical expression.  Likewise this human expression is becoming demonized further to keep pop at the top.  With my recognition of this now prevalent musical style, I began to become dismayed when looking back musically with this new found knowledge.  It turns out pop has been a potent force in the recorded lineage of American popular music.  I was sad to find out that many true jazz pioneers began to exploit this newer rhythmic feel including Count Basie, Nat King Cole, and Quincy Jones.  The trouble I have with pop is that for a keyboardist it demands you change your technique.  Like the loose strumming of a guitar pop almost is the direct opposite of classical or jazz technique where you strive for control of phrasing and dynamics on the keyboard.  Instead it intentionally is loose and sloppy, and the ictus of downbeat is rushed forward actualized by a jabbing motion.  This single action is what defines its rhythmic style.  Like some African music it could be considered to be in a ¼ time signature, because normal groupings of notes into phrases are absent.  This simple playing ahead of the perceived downbeat negates the necessity of the musician actually from counting, feeling, and articulating accurate time on their instrument.  Pop has become a force.  It seems to be everywhere.  It is there because it does not need schooled musicians to perform it.  Instead it relies upon a computer to generate its masquerade.  I had a rude awakening upon coming back from a cruise ship contract this week.  I had only my third gig on land since I have been working on ships for a decade.  What transpired?  The bassist was ensconced in pop.  He played in the same exact style as all of the novice musicians on the ships.  It was not real.  There was no perceived time.  Time.  Instead it was a fake show of jive.  All I could think was the statement that older black jazz musicians played with a pulse, a discernable time feel when they played.  How could a genre of music exist that sought to do just the opposite?  It does it because instead of stimulating the heart, mind, and soul of the listener, it masturbates their egos.  It robs the music of any potential soul stirring power instead

empowering the listeners to think they are special.  If there were a powerful rhythmic force present, then the listeners would have to accommodate it in some way.  Traditionally this was done by dancing.  I guess in some ways pop could be, like smooth jazz, a cool version of traditional rock music.  It stays cool by denying the emotional connection that is evident in most music.  Okay, I can dig that.  What I can’t dig is throwing away 43 years of learned keyboard technique in lieu of a style of music that demands I can’t feel time when I play.  It robs my soul instead of filling it.  I guess I am just “old school.” 

The Epic Struggle

            The majority of time I remember living in Fayetteville, North Carolina someone always was trying to revitalize our downtown.  While I was attending Terry Sanford Senior High School in the early l980’s our rector at St. John’s Episcopal Church himself championed this movement.  Unfortunately it only amounted to the placement of wrought iron street lights and over-sized black pots on  Hay Street nearest the Market House.  Needless to say this was not successful in promoting the economic growth of downtown.  Over the past three decades this attempted metamorphosis has continued.  The second  chapter in the visual revitalization of downtown Fayetteville was the “cleansing” of the 500 block of Hay St.  Although the movement was successful in the elimination of downtown’s bawdy entertainment atmosphere, it did not cleanse one element

that is hindering the cultural renaissance desired by a small group of wealthy patrons.  Pundits may not agree that the “cleansing” of the 500 block of Hay Street of its old movie theaters, its clubs and bars, and its massage parlors was a fruitful economic policy. During her hey day photos of Fayetteville’s Hay Street can be seen teeming with life and activity.  Who was to say the entertaining of Fort Bragg’s G.I.’s was a bad thing?  If you had been training in the field for the last two weeks with very few amenities, a cold beer and some female companionship would be both appealing and necessary.  Despite its “low brow” functionality people were frequenting the businesses in downtown.  This designation itself could be a metaphor for the types of businesses a few Fayetteville elite are attempting to eliminate.  While I feel the last decade in particular has been the most successful in rejuvenating Fayetteville’s downtown, a value judgment could be placed upon the types of businesses that seem to be emerging.  In its hey day large department stores occupied downtown.  Both Sears and Robuck and The Capital department stores  were staple businesses on Hay St.  The emergence of Cross Creek Mall nailed a final stake in their presence.  Another movement had transpired that effectively moved the hustle and bustle of Bragg Boulevard to Skibo Rd.  No longer was this corridor from Ft. Bragg to Hay Street a needed route for soldiers to migrate downtown for entertainment purposes.  No longer was a rail trolley needed to chauffeur inebriated soldiers back to their barracks.  This seminal movement changed downtown forever.  The evolution has taken many turns and the building of a military museum and memorial has been effective in putting Fayetteville’s downtown on the map.  Still there is one annoying and tenacious deterrent.  No matter how much downtown developers try to market Hay St. as a future cultural Mecca, one reality will remain.  Unlike many other small Southern towns Fayetteville pragmatically has endured because of her economic base.  This economic base never has been music, art, or culture.  It has been the military, the presence of the military, and the service of the military.  The Strategic Rail Corridor Network (STRACNET) must be able to handle a full deployment of 450 fully loaded rail cars in one day.  While a study of rail operations in downtown Fayetteville stated that these fully loaded military trains only are needed a few times a year, the infrastructure for such defense activity must actively be in place.  The resultant rail commerce that is integrated with the service of Ft. Bragg is lucrative, and it continues to flourish.  Ironically it is the economic hub of downtown, not culture.  While it is admirable that developers have been successful building housing and businesses downtown, the realization that twenty to thirty trains pass through this area everyday is impossible to ignore.  It also is  impossible to ignore that CSX-T chooses God’s day of rest for which to assemble their freight trains.  Air transportation has limitations of operation considering the health and well being of nearby residents.  The rail industry does not so it seems.  They operate uninhibitedly whenever they please despite the semi-artistic community that is determined to give downtown a much-needed facelift.  The reality is that any real estate that exists in Fayetteville’s downtown is subject to this sensory skirmish.  Sound and vibration both are present in great amplitude and pressure most of the time in downtown.  The colloquial, genteel, cultured atmosphere that many people seek is not possible in the wake of this large-scale industrial commerce.  While it may not appear large-scale to the eye, the ramifications of its process are.  They are inescapable. 

An Increasing Totalitarian Fayetteville, NC

 

            No one asked me whether or not I wanted a shit load of new military personnel in my hometown.  One reason why I left this town was because of this overt military presence.  I, unlike the Baby Boomer’s, had no reason to feel nostalgic about this presence.  It bypassed my generation.  I had no expired draft card.  I had no military pension.  I had no military benefits.  What I did have was a town that, because of this overt military presence, was different than almost every other town in America.  Other towns had colleges and universities, but without the strange war like ruminations.  This town does have a college and a university, but they are not the same as other town’s colleges and universities.  It is not unusual that our university is afro-centric.  There are other predominantly black schools in North Carolina, but none are built around a railroad spur that services the largest military installation in the United States.  Imagine being in class or at a classical concert when one of those fully loaded military trains clanks by carrying tanks, howitzers, and Hum Vees.  That image certainly would not instill a sense of peace, prosperity, and artistry in aspiring students.  Maybe it would.  Maybe indigenous acclimation somehow has shielded the minds and hearts of these students from this picture of war.  If their immediate family or friends were involved in or associated with America’s military, they could and would understand its purpose.  They might not be affected by the purely visceral effect of the world’s most powerful locomotives hauling weapons of mass destruction past their school.  Believe me, it has an effect on a town, and that is why our town is not the same as any other American town. 

            Back in the day veterans were heralded.  There was prestige and valor associated with military service.  That changed during Viet Nam’s tenure.  I’m not sure about military aesthetic during Desert Storm.  What I do know is the thousands of newly enlisted lower ranked G.I.’s were not all to happy to be shipped off to active duty in the deserts of the Middle East.  They were more content to absorb the paycheck without risking their lives in service of the U.S. Military. 

            Possibly because of the fatalities incurred during the War in Iraq, military salaries have risen.  In light of the recent economic downturn in the United States, military personnel now are seen as profitable citizens.  What does that mean?  That means that the “locals” in their host town probably are suffering more economically than they are.  They are being taking care of with health benefits, housing subsidies, and pensions.  Locals are not, but that is not true of all locals.  The prudent, mostly Republican, influential ones used their familial old money to take advantage of this overt military presence.  In essence they learned quickly how to take advantage of these beached military personnel.  Along for the ride whether they want it or not, the locals are subject to the same exploitation.  Prices for vehicles are unusually high.  Shelves in stores often are depleted. Ammunition for home armament is limited.  Governmental services for citizens grossly are inferior to areas where there is no pool of servicemen.  Simply put a Department of Motor Vehicles serving a a metropolitan population of 374,157 demands a larger facility than that of an old 7/11 store in Eutaw Village.  This disservice to the community could be a metaphor for the continuing exploitation of Fayetteville, North Carolina’s all ready fragile infrastructure.  While B.R.A.C continues to tool away on base expansion at Ft. Bragg, local citizens are being bullied by a government intent upon eliminating many small businesses deemed to be unacceptable.  Using Eminent Domain the city of Fayetteville has begun taking small businesses sacrificing them for a plan being implemented behind closed doors and not necessarily representing the best interests of all economic classes.  Not unlike New York city’s Times Square, a clean up has been devised and implemented unbeknownst to many of Fayetteville’s citizens.   Who will benefit from this influx of military personnel, elimination of small business, and implementation of a totalitarian governmental process?  There is only one answer. 

Radio Station Politics

            Each day when I crawl out of bed in the morning, I have two choices of media with which to help ease the transition from slumber to wakefulness.  Both by today’s standards could be considered antiquated and anachronistic, but that only should be considered in terms of popular culture.  Fortunately as academic institutions have proven, knowledge, ideas, and resulting processes do stand the test of time.  I have mixed feelings about traditions.  Certainly a core liberal arts education could and would be a substantial basis upon which to grow one’s own life.  Conversely as I graduated from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, I wanted nothing more than to escape four years of UNC’s traditions.  Unlike many of my classmates who remain diehard Tarheel fans, I felt an intense need to continue academic growth in a different geographical area with different people.  Traditions are necessary for civilization.  We as human beings need ethical, moral, and Christian models upon which to pattern our lives.  The concept that emerges with this decision to change is growth.  How can one continue to grow when one’s environment is staid? 

            A striking realization occurred to me recently when visiting one of my former alma maters.  It had been twenty-three years since I left Columbia, South Carolina after completing a Masters degree in music composition at USC.  Since then I have completed the course work for a Doctorate of Musical Arts in Composition at The Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio.  Also since then I have worked as a professional pianist in the cruise industry for ten years.  That is two very large chapters of my life that have been lived since I graduated from Chapel Hill or the University of South Carolina.  What was startling upon visiting Columbia was it had not changed.  Twenty-three years of history and as the world around us has continued to evolve, expand, and influence, Columbia had not changed.  It became clear to me the reason.  It was because of the university.  Columbia, because of its university, was a city of tradition.  Strikingly also it is a city of tradition because of the Civil War.  Although I had passed through South Carolina and Georgia to embark ships in Florida, I in twenty-three years never had stopped to give the historical traditions of these states another thought.  For the same reason I wanted to leave Chapel Hill, I wanted to leave not only Columbia but the entirety of the American South.  After living in Columbia for five years, it became apparent that there was an underlying dictating infrastructure.  It is ensconced at the root level of Southern society.  I realized that “Old Money” controlled the South.  Consequently there was very little financial mobility available without first recognizing and then interacting politically with this organization.  I chose growth and once again left for another area and new people.  It seems this type of growth and thus lack of it markedly has affected the growth of America.  There is no greater metaphor for this process than the two choices of media I face each day when I awake.  I can choose the local FM jazz radio station or the local FM classical radio station.  While it may not be readily apparent how this choice personifies the growth of America, it is startlingly accurate.  This choice incorporates race, nationality, politics, government, and institution.  The unnerving conclusion is that radio is racist.  Because I have studied the history of music at the doctoral level, I never have drawn boundaries around particular musics based on skin color.  Music is one of the few transcendent art forms that allows for the blurring of these human biases.  It will be clear to some of us that radio always has been segregated.  Two seminal music figures influenced the watershed of blurring race on the airwaves.  They were Elvis Presley and Barry Gordy.  Elvis was white but sang like a black man thus presenting him with musical opportunities not afforded to the original Negro artists.  Barry Gordy Jr. similarly shaped the music of original Negro artists into a form that was deemed palatable by white American radio.  It was called Motown.  While his record label was a success for the music industry, I always have felt it was a disservice to the original artists.  I am different because I am a musician.  I do not draw racial boundaries around music. There was an American consensus that Negro culture from Africa was too intense for the more conservative Caucasian sensibilities.  Fundamentally this cultural idiosyncrasy could be the talking point of a plethora of issues fundamentally affecting Americans, but has been blurred by a more recent social concept.  Instead of recognizing, examining, and celebrating our cultural differences, instead in America we are attempting to blur these differences by fabricating a likeness of humanity with little to no historical precedence.  By blurring gender we are in a sense attempting to eradicate thousands of years of relevant human culture driven by it.  The male female relationship is what has driven the world since its inception.  This has changed. 

            Ignoring the racial bias of radio, there are many concepts being represented by the simple choices of music to be played publicly.  With the recent seeming extinction of traditional record labels due to the shift of music consumption on the internet, the organizing and thus reinforcing of these cultural differences is ebbing.  Instead we are being pushed into a homogenous indeterminate group of consumers with very little artistic sensibility. 

            Simply the choice of the classical radio station is better.  As a staunch purveyor of jazz music, still I have evolved to believe the European traditions of music have proven more tangible.  Without trying to disparage America’s only indigenous art form, “If it is not on the page, it is not on the stage.”  When I began my composing career it revolved around the jazz idiom.  I studied jazz performance for many years, and as a ship pianist continued to evolve as an improvising musician.  It is a very high art form that never should be looked down upon.  The difficulty today is, America has changed.  The traditional driving forces of humanity subtly are being challenged and changed thus rendering ineffective our cultural heritage.  How is it possible that jazz is dead?  It is because the principles of our modern day life do not relate to the principles of jazz.  Since Hip Hop, an indigenous, artistic, socially conscious music form was pushed off the shelves in lieu of pre-packaged pop offerings, nothing has emerged in the field of music that accurately can summarize America’s mainstream.  We do not have a mainstream.  We have become a diluted, disparate, desperate lost culture looking for the once available incentives provided by both government and merchants.  They no longer are there.  Without the traditions of academic institutions it is plausible this culture could be lost forever. 

            As a jazz musician I try to listen to the local jazz radio station.  Nine times out of ten I cannot.  It is disappointing as an academically trained musician that I cannot put faith in the programming of this station.   The reasons are the same reasons that are predicating our lives today in America.  The programming is a façade as has become our governmental and socioeconomic policies.  Neither is relating to America at the grassroots level.  That level has become so disguised by the conscious efforts of a select few that our existence has become a distortion of reality.  We are not operating candidly face to face on a Christian level.  Instead we are enjoying the process of distortion for entertainment reasons.  When the pure cultural heritage of a society becomes cloaked, then the rules become changed.  This is how Republicans traditionally have won when they can’t win on the playing field.  Instead they change the rules of the game in favor of themselves. 

            Who is benefiting from this distortion?  When what calls themselves a jazz radio station fails to play the seminal catalog of recorded jazz that has been amassed and studied academically for decades, what conclusion can be drawn?  They are a façade that is operating for covert reasons.  If the programming they choose is devoid of the artistry, wisdom, soul, and inspiration capable in music, then they are emasculating their listeners with tepid, superficial, selfish music.  It is not new.  The robbing of power from the people began with George W. Bush’s presidency, and it continues. 

            The programming of a radio station as a metaphor for our struggle for economic and social success in America easily can be exemplified by Time/Warner’s systematic hoarding of America’s popular music.  When such an entity brazenly purchases and hides America’s history, what conclusion can be drawn?  How in modern times can the roots of America’s civilization have been plucked and hidden from us?  It is because we are operating in a façade, not America’s once reality. 

            Music is and always has been embraced for its sheer power to move the human condition through emotion and intellect.  If you want to dumb down your population your rob them of the fundamental tools they use to evolve and grow as human beings.  Music and public education are two of these fundamental tools. I can’t expect to turn on the radio and hear authentic representations of America’s only indigenous art form.  Art is too powerful for the masses, as we continue grossly to underestimate the sensibilities of the American population. 

            The classical station is the better choice, because although there is unsuccessful music in this repertoire also, it at least has a tried and true process of checks and balances.  It has sustained the test of time, and this test has empowered this music to become stronger and even more tenacious against imposters.  What is being played on this particular “jazz” radio station merely is pop music, and I assume God is the one who makes the determination of whether you prefer art or sugar for your musical preference. 

The Burden of the Military

 

          Unless you have lived in an overtly military town, you may not have the perspective of many Baby Boomer retirees still laced with patriotism.  Today that perspective has been lost as have many American traditions.  Culture dramatically has changed in America, and I do not recognize it.  Unashamedly I never liked America anyway.  Capitalism is for the rich.  You cannot make money without money.  Government has ceased to stimulate small businesses.  Large corporations have raped America, and crucial manufacturing jobs flew to Asia to fuel their emerging middle class.  It was funny while it lasted.  Maybe that was a few months more than the similar flight that went to Mexico.  At least the yen and China’s economy has not collapsed.  That only is because their currency is more valuable than ours.  The peso was not, and America left many South Americans empty handed after robbing them in the name of cheap labor.  Mexico was not ready for NAFTA and America’s manufacturing jobs.  China was, but their over-populated infrastructure was fragile.  Now finally the movement is attempting to reverse itself.  I will believe it when I see it.  I will believe it when corporations begin paying a decent wage with benefits empowering America’s citizens.  The only way they ever did this was under the pressure of Jimmy Hoffa who disappeared.  You can’t be a hypocrite.  Either you believe in America’s people, or you don’t.  You as prudent businesses used to do, invest in them and treat them well and they will support you.  You cannot treat them as expendable labor.  All of this aside living in an overtly military town gives you a different perspective than that of the fading Baby Boomers.  The United States military no longer is fueled by propaganda.  The once patriotic movement has not been instilled in America’s subsequent generations.  Maybe we can remember a moving ceremony honoring fallen heroes.  Maybe.  What I remember is what it is like to grow up in a military town in North Carolina.  At one time there was moxie accompanied by a thriving nightlife.  Now it is just a mundane job defending America abroad from invisible terrorists.  The glory of World War ll is gone.  All of those images of returning soldiers kissing their gals in Times Square is water under the bridge.  Now it seems to be unemployed soldiers with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and no legs.  In addition living in a military town one witnesses first hand the level of intellect of your average G.I.  Often they are high school dropouts.  Often they have a propensity for violence.  Often they engage in criminal behavior.  Often as exhibited by many gay military porn sights, they are sexual deviants.  This influence as experienced by middle class working people is negative.  It is annoying that Wal Mart shelves always are empty.  Living near a drag strip also is annoying, especially at night.  The fear of strafing from an Apache attack helicopter or an Obama drone by mistake is disconcerting.  Low flying C-130’s over your neighborhood do not make you feel safe at all.  They instill fear from the unknown.  When the ground shakes from the artillery fire and you can hear the rat-tat-tat of machine gun fire, it is not consoling.  It is difficult to differentiate the sounds of war from a patriotic mission to protect Americans.  While a military is necessary, it should not be the focus of America or American politics.  This inflated war machine has bled America to death, and it is due time for Washington to pour America’s money back into her. 

Defending Our Rights, Mano e Mano

 

            It was unnerving watching a vexed Rachel Maddow last night try her best to comprehend what traditionally has been recognized in America as an “Extreme, Right-Wing, Militia” perspective.  Ironically since 9/11 our home-spun domestic extremist movement has become overshadowed by an extremist movement 180 degree opposed.  While right wing militia movements in America may have slipped from sight, their roots  continue.  It is the National Rifle Association that has become their speaking voice.  It could be easy to get the two confused considering the amount of spin that is placed upon every political issue these days.  Grass root militia movements simply are Americans that believe, “A well-armed militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”  They believe in freedom in America.  They are not interested in terrorism.  Contrarily often they are baited by the very acts of America’s federal government.  They respond, which is more than a majority of so-called Americans with their heads buried in the sand.  These militiamen pay attention, and if they feel threatened again by the federal government they will make it known.  I’m not positive if the NRA is the proper liaison.  Like other branches of an increasingly extreme right wing, losing sight of one’s philosophy in lieu of participating in a hollering match on capital hill is a mistake.  The media may not have helped.  A differentiation must clarify the difference in two extremist movements.  First our domestic militia movement is not violent.  They only vehemently will go to extreme lengths to protect the freedoms the United States Constitution seeks to provide.  If that means living in underground bunkers armed to the teeth in the great plains of the MidWest so be it.  It is probable these die hard patriots more likely are to be incited by thoughtless unconstitutional suggestions of policy and legislation by the United States government.  An example of that could be an absurd stripping of a soldiers right to express faith.  We ask these soldiers to die for us in action, but now we are going to suggest taking away their God-given right to express personal faith?  I’ve never heard anything so ludicrous in my life.  An example of anti-Christian policy all ready has taken place with the expiration of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”  It is common in the last decade a decisive movement has appeared that seeks to excise Christianity from America.  If this fundamental building block of society is removed, then evil men will be able to continue with no moral conscience at all.  They will not have to be accountable to anyone, except God when they burn in the pits of hell.  In the meantime we have to keep it on the table in full view.  Otherwise our small earth may cease to exist at all in our lifetimes.  I feel the effort is merited.  Muslim Extremists hate America, and a large part of this sentiment was created by Osama Bin Laden.  He was not at all happy about America’s response to Saddam Hussein’s invastion of Kuwait.  He also was not happy that he was passed upon to provide a capable fighting and protective force for the Saudi government.  He was pissed and only wanted us out of his native land.  Still we are there.  There is not enough time to discuss the myriad of reasons America is involved there, most probably none of it having to do with weapons of mass destruction.  Suffice it to say, “Rich in natural resources.”  We cannot fund the country now by squeezing drops out of stones.  Why not sell opium?  I just wish we could get it together.  If as Rachel explained ten percent of the population believe American citizens will have to take up arms against the U.S. Military, there must be a reason.  In my opinion is has to do with excess, military excess.  This always has been a priority of Republicans.  It is obvious this excess has bankrupted the country.  Being at war and funding this military has created the financial crisis we are feeling today.  Other short-sighted strategies have not helped.  Wall Street Hedge Funders were working their magic at the same time, selfishly emptying America’s coffers even more.  In an unprecedented presidential move, George W. Bush upon exiting office, stuck his hand in our cookie jar and handed these cronies our cash.  It is sickening.  Upon reflection these assholes for years have been funding presidential campaigns.  Just as has happened in history, the Hank Paulson’s get in there and steal our money.  How are normal Americans able to do anything about this corruption?  There is only one way, and it is not extreme to entertain the notion that eventually the American citizen himself will have to take up arms against unfair rule.  There are simply too many examples in recent history that document this movement.  Government can become so corrupt and uncontrollable that Americans will be required to take action.  No one wants to believe it.  Certainly mainstream television hosts would have a difficult time realizing that America is not about gloss, glamour, or television.  It is about principal.  It is about roots.  It is about freedom.   It is about goodness.  Ironically enough simple and misunderstood organizations such as the Hell’s Angels are exercising their American freedoms.  That an increasingly conservative, weak, and tepid faction continues to try to conflate their own agenda with traditional American values is surprising.  You can understand the grass roots movements are resistant.  In certain ways this resistance defines conservation.  They would rather stay with what is tried and true.  The trouble is those values are being eroded continuously by another movement.  Abstractly it could be considered this anti-American movement actually is the Extreme Muslin agenda but being practiced from within our own population.  While President Obama continues to seek these native terrorists, it should become readily clear that arming one’s self is the last line of defense.  Again as Rachel mentioned could one conceive that an American militia movement would instigate a strike against the federal government?  The answer is it would be the easy and appropriate counter strike to unstoppable corruption.  First the United States’ military has been over deployed for years. The number of troops available for a domestic altercation upon our native soil is small.  Secondly and more importantly as proven by a tenacious Viet Nam war, it nearly is impossible to defeat an indigenous population on their own land.  It is because Americans all ready live in her trenches.  No one else more is accurately aligned to defend America than her citizens.  If you believe our mighty fighting military force, without the proper leadership, is going to successfully secure America’s borders, then show us an example.  When in history has America had to defend itself against such an attack?  The attack on Hawaii’s Pearl Harbor occurred in the South Pacific.  While it does seem improbable that advancing extremist forces will come from Canada or Mexico, no one really knows.  To be safe it is more consoling to have a closet full of guns.  That way whoever seeks to abolish our Constitutionally assured personal freedoms (including the government) will have to contend with their defense.  It is not extreme that these freedoms for which to be fought would be defended hand to hand on America soul.  Our forefathers knew this, and only an immature, naïve, and misguided consort of Americans could believe otherwise. 

           

Segregated Radio Stations

  -->

            The most striking thing about the American South is it has not changed.  The reasons why I left in l991 still upon reflection are exactly the same as reasons I would choose to leave again today.  I may not have been sure two decades ago, because I was emotionally vulnerable.  I suspected as much.  I suspected the American South was a “Good Old Boy” network.  There was “Old Money.”  There was a society bred upon wealthy slave-owning plantation owners.  They patterned their transplanted roots upon Victorian England.  They named their children Muffy and Bif.  Above all there was no defeating them.  They controlled the Old South.  It was old, stuffy, moldy money that had been sitting in a safe and was not going anywhere soon, much like now.  It was not going to be made available to a youthful generation.  A youthful generation was not going to be honored or empowered with the reigns to the kingdom.  Instead these insolent land-owners ate their children like they ate everyone else.  It is beyond me how a generation can become so Goddamned selfish as not to respect their offspring.  Who was going to take over when their blood dried up?  “We won’t worry about that now.  We merely will get all we can, can it, and sit on the can.”  That once conservative philosophy has failed America miserably.  The good news is that idea is not prevalent everywhere.  It is not prevalent in New England, California, or the Midwest.  These places have chosen to be progressive engaging life and future life with zest and money.  They, rather than sit stagnantly on their covered porch admiring their tall trees sipping a lemonade or ice tea, would rather engage life and a new future.  Prospects.  New Money.  I left the American South for these reasons.  There was no foreseeable future.  In fact it was a hard dead end. 

I literally had people saying to me, “Why do you think you are any different?  What makes you so special that you believe you will have anything other than this?”  Sometimes you just have to change the environment.  When it fails you, like Motown, go somewhere else.  I chose Columbus, Ohio.  Some people would laugh.  “Cowtown!” they say.  I had an underlying motive.  Not only could I pursue the D.M.A. degree in composition, Columbus was a capital city of a million and a half people.  There were opportunities. I was right.  Unfortunately I tried to transplant my own Southern sensibilities to Columbus, and they would not have it.  There was a stark different in culture.  While Southerners, because of the climate and geography, could relax and provide some quaint charm and hospitality, Columbus was urban.  There was nothing around it.  What you had happening was life.  There was no room to sit back and enjoy the works of God or nature.  I was amazed out how much more aware and literate the people of Ohio were.  They knew things, and they paid attention to the appropriate things.  There was no society to disguise or control reality.  That crust of manipulation was removed, and boy was it refreshing.  There was no Old Money.  It was New Money, and if you worked hard you could be both appreciated and rewarded with a place in society.  That American South is not like that.  It surprisingly still is segregated.  The perfect example of this segregation and an issue I have been trying to understand is musical segregation.  As a musician myself, a purveyor of both improvised jazz music and written European-based concert music, I don’t consider music to be privy to any particular race or culture.  I do know the history of a lot of music, but I as a human being never saw fit to segregate music.  What’s the point?  When I returned to the American South it has become obvious still it is segregated.  What am I talking about?  I completed all of the coursework necessary for the acquisition of a Doctorate of Musical Arts in Composition at The Ohio State University.  The only reason I did not finish was because the eye disease Kerataconus demanded I have cornea transplants in both eyes.  This took time, and after their healing I needed to make money, not be in school.  Still I retain all of that knowledge and have not given up on being a successful musician again.  It is difficult being surrounded by the Old South, because it has not changed and in my humble opinion never will.  It is not progressive.  It still is stuck in the staid habits that have sustained it all there years.  While there are glimmers of progress, such as our local symphony conductor programming Mahler and Stravinsky, the culture of the South will stay the same.  It is sentimental.  It is sweet.  It is violent.  “Hey ya’ll!”  At one time the traditional Southern Bell could melt me.  I realize today it was not a product of love or admiration or desire.  It purely was sexual.  Those women are both alluring and physically desirable, but I don’t want that.  I don’t want to be controlled by my libido.  I don’t want to desire something so much I lose control of my wits.  I rather would desire it, because I see and understand something that is appealing to me.  I don’t want to be slain by a bimbo.  That is the way women operate in the South.  Know they will take your money, and your house, and your life.  I don’t want to be controlled by traditions and customs that openly don’t accept my independent opinion and appreciate it.  Why would I?  My example is while many years of my life were involved with the study and performance of jazz-oriented music, I can’t listen to the local jazz station here.  I have tried.  Their programming is too off base for me to appreciate.  Am I so unusual having studied the recorded lineage of jazz music not to be able to enjoy their contemporary programming?  I think it is because as a well versed and studied musician, I don’t compartmentalize music.  I understand styles of music and their origins, but for me they just blend together into what is the aesthetic of my life.  That aesthetic, because I have traveled away from the South, I see now is far more diverse than others around me.  This reinforces that notion that the South is sheltered, not progressive, and unwilling to change, grow, and experience new things.  They like their security blanket of country clubs, smooth jazz, and old money.  It highly is oppressive.  Why does the local jazz station not play the known and recognized iconic jazz recordings and artists?  I have asked myself this many times.  I thought once it was because they didn’t have the revenue to pay the royalties on the most important and influential music.  I think still that may be true.  I don’t know if radio stations pay by the track, artist, record label, or style.  I would like to know.  Whence does the royalty come?  What I do know is the program this station offers is sheltered.  It is not progressive.  It is not meant to challenge the listener, the listener’s sensibilities, or societies' acceptable social norms.  It, like modern pop music, instead puts a bandaid on life’s tough spots.  It seeks not to be heard, felt, or understood.  It is the ultimate “Uncle Tom.”  Its only purpose is to say, “Yessah massah, whatever you say.”  I guess it is this principle to which I most object as a composer and musician.  No one in my mind has the right to dictate what or how I perform music.  That is not how it is today.  That freedom has been curtailed, and I am not sure by whom.  Time/Life and Time/Warner must have a hand in it, because they bought the majority of the performance rights to America’s most popular recorded music.  Consequently we don’t hear it anymore.  What gives?  Is that not sheltering, concealing America’s musical past?  The majority of what is played on our local jazz station is not jazz at all.  It is pop.  How am I able to make this distinction?  Because “Once Upon a Time in a Far Away Land,” students were required to study styles of music.  “Once Upon a Time in a Far Away Land,” pop music was not part of the musical curriculum at reputable music school.  That has changed.  “Once Upon a Time in a Far Away Land,” the guitar was not recognized a viable tool for teaching music.  There is a reason for this.  Pop music, while erroneously considered to mean popular, really defines a musical style.  It is a style, unlike traditional jazz or orchestra musics, that does not demand an intellectual comprehension of rhythmic style.  Most jazz oriented music in America in the last decade has reverted to this much less skilled and therefore irrelevant style of music, because it takes very few brain cells to actualize it.  To me it is a horrific disservice to trained and talented musicians.  Alas corporations can design and implement pop music because it consists of no real music in a traditional sense.  Radio stations like ours are not helping the situation by playing this garbage.  That was not my point.  My point was that in addition to playing “Yes Man,” the music is segregated.  It represents only one particular group of people, and that is disheartening.”  I guess you don’t notice it if you only have experienced the American South.  The segregation exists elsewhere.  The station to which I turn for musical diversion while of quality, adheres to the same aesthetic.  It does not ever play music that is challenging to the emotions.  It like many sheltered places does not even recognize the Second Viennese School.  Did anyone know there was a Second Viennese School?  Who was the first?  It was Beethoven, Hayden, and Mozart.  Alas there have been many more decades of music making since the High Classic period.  Our local classical station abstains from playing any contemporary music.  Rarely will you ever hear Schoenberg, Berg, or Webern.  Rarely will you hear Charles Ives, one of America’s greatest composers.  Why is this?  It is because one must grow intellectually and emotionally to understand and appreciate this music.  Why can’t a radio station be responsible for this awakening?  Is it because they also are playing “Uncle Tom?”  I guess so.