Spinning Out

Note to self:  Do not play too many syrupy ballads for your cocktail party.  They may be good music, but when people are drinking and talking, they may not be willing to revive the sentiments in "Beaches."  You need to keep it light and positive.  Allow the room to breathe.  My first cocktail party (my first gig ever) was at Highland Country Club in the "Back 9" club.  It was a rowdy group of socialites, who all ready were drunk by the time I began.  My Rhodes electric piano was set up in the middle of the room, and they were on all sides of me.  I was trying to read book arrangements of American popular tunes, while they were partying.  It was a rude awakening.  I could not hear myself, because the voices were so loud.  I'm sure they didn't care about my music.  All in all it was a horrible experience not unlike the other gigs my father sent me to substitute for him when he was absent.  He sent me to the Lion's Club in Southern Pines, and the piano was locked in another room.  They made me play their organ, and I didn't know how.  After a few minutes they told me I could go home.  They paid me, because I drove an hour each way to get there.  This is a slight foray  to my childhood, and it is unpleasant.  The lesson learned is:  Don't try to play music the people don't want or don't understand.  The only exception is:  If you are hired for a gig, and it is a cocktail party or dinner music, then you have the liberty of playing music that creates a relaxed and sophisticated mood.  Often because of the history of American popular music dating back to the turn of the century, this music necessarily will include romantic content.  Herein lies the grift.  America is at a historically non-sentimental juncture.  We are extreme, and in extreme scenarios it all is about the fight.  The Presidency of Donald Trump had zero content of American culture.  Culture is not business or economics.  It is humanistic behavior and sentiment.  Donald Trump is not a humanist, nor does he feign interest in artistic endeavors.  Bill Clinton played the saxophone.  Other Presidents patronized the Kennedy Center Honors, and hosted American artists at the White House.  Most attention to the Arts has been diverted, and American society is suffering.  How can we not be extreme, when there are no patterns or examples for cultured living?  The age of misinformation, corporate control of the internet, and decimation of the news leaves the American people ripe for control, extremism, and eventually fascist behavior.  Without education we are doomed.  During the Golden Age of Hollywood morality was ensconced in television content.  We learned from television shows, and their makers were virtuous.  As this generation dies out, there is nothing to replace it.  Patiently we are waiting for Millennials to grow consciences.  This won't happen without real world experiences.  When you lose your first job, your first love, or fail at something is when you grow a conscience.  It's when you realize you must love yourself, before you can love someone else.  There are times when I feel compelled to take off my rose-colored glasses and taste the tap water.  It is filled with bacteria, PFAS, and disease.  You should understand this, but you can't let it pull you into the ground.  You have to fight it.  Ignoring problems and ignorance is a formula for depression, because repressed feelings are a major cause.  You have to be strong enough to feel the pain but also strong enough to fight it.  Separating the two is the challenge.  I think it is important to be honest with your feelings.  To an extent we attempt to control our feelings with our minds, and it is necessary.  Also it is necessary to access our feelings as a litmus test for reality.  They act as a B.S filter, and the skilled interpretation of our feelings may become instinctual.  They may become instincts.  America is operating at a base level, because we have lost the connection with the example of the Arts.  If we allow ourselves to succumb to reality, and reality is dire, then we need a model or pattern for renewal.  It is a precarious balance, but it is necessary.   What are our patterns?