The World's Shortest Orgasm

I feel extremely unworthy at the moment.  My standards for me are high.  Always in my musical life I have striven (I had to look up "past participle") for the best achievement.  You gauge your best achievement based upon the achievement of others.  It is difficult to create in a vacuum.  Not only for content, one needs motivation, inspiration, and competitiveness to feel viable.  At the moment I have none of these.  Instead because of Covid 19 and its subsequent lock down, I am surrounded by little.  There is television, which since the advent of commercial internet streaming services, has withered like an old man's penis.  Pundits predict cable will become extinct.  Cable is floundering, and also because of Covid 19 its content and inspiration have become barren.  How can anything get accomplished when the human process of fellowship necessarily has been sequestered.  Not to sound like a broken record, a broken record, a broken record, and not to blame the entirety of the world's problems' on the Far Right, but a gradual diminishing of human quality is the tactic.  Think back for a moment on the original "Star Trek" episodes.  There were a scant three seasons, and I own them all on DVD.  Never have I watched a single one, because like other older Americans we grew up with television.  Television, over-the-air network television and then cablevision, provided its content for you  Picking and creating content was a core component of television.  Television at first took its lead from live radio and even vaudeville.  These types of media were at a high point, because they were the sole choices for entertainment through media in America.  A brief glance back at the history of America would be helpful.  Television in its inception all ready was functioning on an exemplary level, because it was an extension of preexisting forms.  Film and TV fueled one another for a time, and television before streaming toed the line.  It hung in there.  Then the internet came into vogue for streaming with its increase in data transmission rates.  Microsoft solved this issue developing high capacity modems which allowed music and video to travel quickly enough for human consumption.  Television has not recovered.  With television a bevy of intelligent, media savvy, progressive programmers vied for your attention.  With only three major broadcast networks, it was easy enough to gauge your achievement.  Flip on the tube and right before your eyes was the product.  I flip on Jazz24, an internet radio station out of the Pacific Northwest, and immediately I can gauge my musical impetus.  Often it is inspiring, and I hear modern renditions of historical stylings that resonant in my soul.  Today it was Boogie Woogie, and Boogie Woogie played by a woman pianist.  It reminded me of Lynn Albritton, an African-American musical artist who sang and played the piano.  The effect was a combination of vocal style, a not very jazzy Louis Jordan approach, coupled with the rocking left hand and bluesy solo figures played on the piano.  It was unique, and never before have I heard this played on Jazz24.  I make a brief mental note of who the artist is from my Amazon Echo Show, and continue with my day.  At some point I will Google the artist, Cleo Brown, find the particular recording, and buy the CD from eBay or Amazon.  This jazz music, although its percentile as a stimulus in my life is about two percent, is extremely important to my soul.  The unfortunate reality is the dynamic of jazz music right now, more than other times in United States history, is low.  I had to curtail my study of jazz history, because my immediate environment will not allow it.  How is that possible?  It is possible, because the feelings involved in this music are not being reinforced in America at the moment.  In a very base and disturbing way, it makes the music feel ignorant and selfish instead of loving and human.  This is an assault, and it is an assault on humanity.  The more the Right pushes in its direction, the more human qualities diminish like they are not important anymore.  Instead it is like we are being instructed to comply to a "greater" source of authority, which tells us what is right and wrong, good and bad, and appropriate for our own consciousness.  Could this be the military?  I am surrounded by the military.  In less than half a block of neighborhood and on a pie graph divided into five slices, four of these slices consist of military families.  Only one small section pointing toward the elementary school offers respite from this overt authoritarian existence.  What is the source of my content crisis?  The major defining characteristic of a terminal degree (a Phd or a DMA) is being able to function as an independent scholar.  That means no matter how vacuous life becomes, an academic with a terminal degree will makes things better.  Their life long directive is to seek wisdom through accomplishment and convey this to the masses through artistic achievement.  (I am going to leave that alone, but you get the point)  When finally I do find a litmus test of reality, usually it is swallowed with not much trouble.  Often it gives me a boost, because clearly it aligns "the bar."  This is the bar of success.  You must go above this level to be successful.  Most of my life I have lived in a vacuum, because unless you are privy to attend Eastman, North Texas State, or U of Miami you will not have a high level of influence.  Television has been bitten by the deadly venom of Big Brother.  That once competitive, honest, wholesome mechanism of expression predicated by human interest, now has become a feeding ground for far right, extreme, foreign propaganda.  It is extremism, and it is extreme, because the canvas upon which humanity once created with verve, enthusiasm, and goodness has been sacrificed to the money gods.  Money is the ultimate goal, only money, and the preservation of the earth and its people is secondary.  How short-sighted this contingency who risks the very planet and its only chosen keepers for an immediate, superficial, short-lived orgasm?