The Opioid Highway

My nightmare of late is being murdered by cartel thugs.  Previously  this ultimate nightmare has manifested itself as various tragic and upsetting scenarios sprinkled into my lifetime.  Is there a reason at some points in your life your subconscious mind decides to relive all of your perils?  I believe there is an answer to that question, and I believe it has something to do with the unprecedented violence unfolding in America.  Life always has been a struggle.  The original settlers of North America, the "Lost" Colony perished at the hands of mother nature.  Mankind struggles, endures, and perseveres to at some point be rewarded for his efforts.  They could present themselves as small tokens, love perhaps.  They could present themselves as sustenance.  They could present themselves as material wealth.  In Christian philosophy what are God's rewards for man's superlative efforts?  Job.  Job toiled, prospered, and had everything taken away from him.  Certainly the knowledge of God should be enough to sustain us, but in today's political climate, it has become more difficult.  For the first time in decades survival has become more daunting.  It seems everywhere we turn the internet is trying to deceive us.  Phishing E-Mails crowd our In Boxes, and computer-generated telephone calls bait us with misleading opportunities.  Truly it has become a time of great turmoil, and we are being forced to reckon with it.  My nightmares manifest themselves as reflections of tumultuous moments in my life.  For example when my first purchased motorcycle was stolen by fraternity boys at OSU.  Secondly when freedom of thought and individuality were stripped from me while working at sea.  Like everyone I have quite a few almost tragic scenarios.  My mother dwells in them, and perhaps this is a symptom of aging or ensuing dementia.  Living in self-created tragedy in my humble opinion is not healthy.  It solves no problem other than reinforcing sorrow, strife, and pain.  If having these emotions reciprocated by a fellow human beings is the cure to them, than I must digress.  Simply this qualifies as displacing your own hardship on someone else.  Perhaps in some small faction of humankind this suffices as healing.  I cannot condone this psychology.  Making someone else feel bad, because you do is not Christian.  It is the antithesis of Christianity.  Christianity promotes love as a solution to ills.  Arguing for the sake of argument, for the sheer catharsis of negative emotion, is a pointless waste of time, and yet I am sure many families may still practice this.  My parents did, and maybe when you are cemented to your unchanging future, this seems like the only escape.  Perhaps heated, antagonizing, vitriolic argument serves some purpose, but not in my life.  I was discouraged from teaching public school, because my cooperating teacher during my tenure as a student teacher was a proponent of using emotion or temper to control his charges.  The entire length of my student teaching experience built up to nothing other than learning when to become angry at the students.  This was his wise lesson to me as an upcoming educator.  Like environment court in Columbus, Ohio I was dissuaded by what should have been a supportive mentor.  Two men failed by practicing non-Christian behavior.  This must be common in humanity, or is it just revealed in Capitalism?  When I went to environmental court I had recognized my mistakes, exercised a strong effort to remedy them, and was contrite.  This made no difference to Judge Richard C. Pfeiffer, Jr.  Before I entered his courtroom he and his public prosecutor all ready has decided how to proceed.  I made the grievous mistake of pleading guilty to my littering charge, and because I had, Mr. Pfeiffer proceeded to take from me the maximum amount allowed by the law.  He attempted to take my money, but he did not create justice.  I was so livid from his shortsighted decision only did I want to create more crime in spite of him.  I had been sorry, and all ready had made my own restitution, and yet only because I pleaded guilty he and his friend took my money.  Maybe they thought the sheer shock of having to pay a $500.00 fine for littering would teach me lesson.  In some criminal justice cases a hefty fine could serve as a future deterrent.  In my case as an intelligent, responsible, and Christian adult all ready had I paid by debt.  I reversed my mistaken action, sought forgiveness, and was punished anyway.  This must be an old school justice, like arguing for no reason.  It must be a way for those incapable of thinking, understanding, and learning to seek retribution by affectation.  We will challenge our emotions to be so disgusted with an action that it will cure it.  It is not effective, just as Donald Trump and his administration are not.  They are not smart enough to be in positions of leadership, because leadership requires more than shoot outs at the O.K. Corral.  How many more shoot outs must America endure before we realize that life and our earth are fragile?  Without God they will not endure.