Dear Major Suckage,

     I would like to inquire why you are around?  We are experiencing major suckage.  When I open our newly installed and highly energy efficient vinyl windows, there is suckage.   My sheers, which disguise my personal activity, are sucked out.  Even with our furnace off and no discernible air blowing through the ducts, my sheers are being sucked out pinning them against the screens.  What is the source of this low pressure or vacuum, Major Suckage?  If a human is to breath air it must flow into the house.  If the planet is to cool itself the air must be able to flow on its on in its natural state.  A sucking through the huge hole in the ozone over the south Pole is not appropriate.  A sucking from gravitational waves created by two colliding black holes is not appropriate.  Global warming as a byproduct of major suckage must stop.  Meteorologists do not seem to question the bipolar behavior of the earth's weather.  Summer one day and winter the next?  What is causing these huge swings of air movement.  Could it be major suckage?  Major Suckage, are YOU responsible for this sucking?  Do your SD70MACs suck so much air with their turbochargers that the weather patterns on earth are affected?  Jet turbines also suck, but sucking is not the only problem.  If sucking and spewing happen simultaneously...  Isn't this a byproduct of the burning of fossil fuels?  We are burning our breathable air and  consequently polluting it with toxins.  It would seem these naturally occurring processes of life are oblivious to the Koch brothers.  There is no air in space, but does NASA know how to manufacture air?  I would believe Dr. Michael Burry highly is investing in both water and air. Commodities trading.  I guess it is time Americans stop hoarding ammunition and begin hoarding air and water.  The good thing is, unlike those pests in the film "War of the Worlds," SD70MAC's use the same air as human beings.  Ouch.  Eliminate humans and there is more air for them.  Is it a conspiracy Major Suckage?  Thank you.