Evil on Earth

For anyone interested and those all ready familiar with the book of Revelations, some shit is going to go down in the future.  I was confused about the Second Coming of Christ.  I mistakenly thought Satan was going to make an appearance on earth vested in a human being.  There is no second coming of Satan.  All ready he is here.  All ready he is manifested in millions of human beings.  I have been in a spiritual vacuum working in the cruise industry.  It is not a vacuum devoid of spirituality, it is a vacuum of love that seems impenetrable by the evil which surrounds me daily in America.  I am scolded by my family that working in this industry for over a decade has sheltered me from reality.  It is not so.  Contrarily I have both lived and worked in some of the most upstanding places in the world.  There must be a better word, but to find it I must point of the shortcomings of my own country, America.  There are many, and these many were not always in existence.  Truly as an intelligent and Christian nation we have faltered.  I can't believe my eyes and ears most of the time.  Each day when I wake in a secure paid for home, I feel less secure than floating in the ocean in a big hunk of metal.  Why?  The reason is not only am I working in the hospitality industry, but I am working in an environment that is humane.  Not only does it earn its revenue from its guests, truly it cares about their wellbeing.  It would be easy to say that this care comes from a desire for revenue, and it would be true to some extent.  Surprisingly unlike the United States, people cruising are well adjusted happiness seeking beings.  They want to live a stress free happy life.  I don't find that to be the case in America.  It used to be.  Instead of seeing well adjusted Christian people I see violent evil people.  I am around people like I was in junior high school that want your life to be less pleasant than it is.  They scream sour grapes around seemingly content people.  I see people who enjoy inflicting pain and sorrow on others.  I see greed.  I see  racism.   It is exactly the same as it was when I grew up here in the late l970's before Ronald Reagan became president.  Luckily I was able to experience the glory of the l980's, a decade when an actor was  President.  Did it make a difference in the arts?  Yes.  the l980's were a pinnacle decade of artistic expansion.  Film, music, and commodities were at a high point and to many peoples' surprise Trickle Down Economics worked.  It worked because the money that merchants and manufacturers made was invested back into the products and their means of production.  It was not filed away in some bank in Grand Cayman to mold and strangle the U.S. economy.  For the economy to function marginally, capital needs to flow.  It cannot sit unused in the wealthys' banks.  The 80's were a decade of love and romance.  The entire country circulated around this heterosexual interaction.  It was the basis of life.  Who cared about money if there was not romantic interest with which to share?  American has changed.  I do not see this romance anymore.  Films, music, and products no longer reflect romantic sentiments.  I think that this particular sentiment no longer exists in mainstream America.  We have become jaded and rude.  I myself, although I want such a thing, am having trouble justifying my sentiment.  My conscience tells me to give up on it, and I may.  The music I have written is based upon this feeling.  It is rife with emotion, both happy and sad.  It really is pure emotion in sound.  It is intimacy, intimacy I have been deprived of since working in the cruise industry.  I don't mind.  It has been a trade off.  I was able to find sexual fulfillment from prostitutes, and spiritual and artistic fulfillment from music.  Now I have neither, and I am unhappy.  I live in a country who has discarded music from its consciousness, and who has become so ridiculously far right that any human need or weakness is eradicated.  Not knowing what puritan roots are, it must be what I am experiencing.  It is not human.  The force that has occupied America plainly and simply is trying to eradicate God.  What an idea.  How can any human being have an ego so large that they entertain the idea of usurping God?  I can't help but think that I wish He would show up and defend Himself.  I am sure many also feel this way.  Where is God when you need Him?  I do not have room to complain, because I actively do not worship.  Still I have a deep and great reverence for the presence of God in human life.  We cannot exist without It.  I thank Him occasionally for good things that happen, and usually they are small.  I understand I am not fulfilling my duty as a Christian by worshipping God in church each Sunday.  Still I believe and need Christ.  It is because I have come to realize there is evil all around me.  While I have gotten better at warding off Satan, in others it feels like a lost cause.  It is everywhere.  Certainly President Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder are the only symbols of God tangibly I can recognize.  Television is rife with untruth and hypocrisy.  I turn on a news program and see Congressmen lying to the American people.  It is strong, and I don't like it.  I miss my vacuum of the cruise industry, because I have not felt cared for in two years.  I am the good guy.  I write real music.  I am an artist.  The music I have written satisfies the requirements of art.  It will sustain the test of time.  As much music does not attempt, my work synthesizes many fundamental American ideals.  In ways it is nationalist.  Like Tchaikovsky's work, it represents patriotic sentiments.  Since 2005 I have experienced life away from America, and have written more American music than many composers.  I do not market it, because our country is too ignorant to understand it.  It's a bitch being ahead of your time, and perhaps the course history has shown that other countries will be more capable of understanding it.  It is not a hollow shell of pop music.  It is the sorrow of Handel, the joy of Copland, and the machismo of Beethoven.  It is alive, full, and human, something that the American people are not.  It is disappointing being back in America.