Today's Top Ten List of Things I Would Do as President.... of the DMV

1. Enforce the Speed Limit (Everyone speeds, at least in Fayettenam)

2. Humanize the Interstate Highway System (Right now Interstate Rest Areas are a Mecca for lewd homosexual behavior. The Interstate is a Daytona Speedway for coked out truck drivers. It is dangerous for passenger vehicles.)

3. Enforce the Window Tinting Laws (the majority of drivers in Fayettenam have illegally tinted side windows. The state stands to make a lot of money if they only would enforce this law.)

4. Regulate Wheel Rims and Tail lights (Vehicles should be functional. When aesthetics come before safety, people’s lives are in jeopardy)

5. Eliminate Open Pipe Harley Davidsons (How can there be such as a thing as an OBDll Test, when hundreds of straight pipe Harleys roam freely on the streets with no muffler and no catalytic converter?)

6. Get Rid of the SUV (It is a visual atrocity. It sits up too high to see the driver. It blocks the view of the highway from behind. In 70% of crash tests, people die in cars that it hits.)

7. Require All Gas Stations to be Be Mechanic Shops (Who decided buying gasoline, cigarettes, and cookies was a good idea? Let’s keep gas and oil separate.)

8. Get Rid of the State Inspection (It is hypocrisy personified. Let the law enforcement community take care of it)

9. Enforce Noise Ordinances in Relation to Sub Woofer Systems (Bling is out. Keep it in the hood.)

10. Limit the Size of the Automobile (I’m tired of driving behind lunar landers.)