Today’s Top Ten Drug List


“I can’t stop my restless leg.” Comedian Robert Klein on Requip

Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis- Leroy, the African-American gigolo’s, three daughters.

Acid Reflux- Déjà vu about Ohio State University’s Hempfest.

Ritalin- The fire that Jim Morrison would rather not have lit.

Tagamet- Game played for rite of passage. Getting drunk on cheap beer and trying to punch Orlando Hernandez.

“This is Nacho Cheese.” What the African-American junkie said to her attempted mugger.

Ice House- Place where Adolph Hitler scored his crystal meth.

Prozac- Laney Bogg’s political affiliation

Ocean’s Elavil- What Brad Pitt said in 2001 after being stopped for a D.W.I at four in the morning.

Zoloft- Greenwich Village apartment of Paula in Matthew Mcconnaughey’s “Failure to Launch.”