Teachers

When I went to graduate school in South Carolina, I was fortunate enough to nab a G.T.A. or Graduate Teaching Assistantship. This gave you a tuition wavier, provided a stipend, and allowed you the opportunity to practice the craft of teaching while you were learning new things. In this particular case, although as in Nature vs. Nuture you almost always are influenced by your surroundings, I didn’t really learn that much more about music. Just the opposite I taught what I knew to the students at USC. This was a reasonable bargain at the time. I got a Master’s degree with teaching experience for forfeiting the acquisition of new musical knowledge. I didn’t realize this until after attending a doctoral program at The Ohio State University. It seems when you up and move from the Old South five hundred miles away to the Midwest, they take you seriously. Ten G’s is serious scratch, and a music department can do a lot with that kind of money. Although with a some trepidation the music department welcomed me with open arms. It was a beautiful experience, because it is not often in life you are somewhere where you are allowed to pursue the things you love in a nurturing environment with little resistance. That’s why I have always liked college. There is the long-standing joke about people who never grow up and can only make it in the college environment. Rob Lowe jumps to mind in a movie he made, becoming dysfunctional in life’s real responsibilities, rather choosing to return to his fraternity and coach an athletic team. As a side job he would be the appropriate one to score the weed. I don’t consider myself one of these kinds of people, although I have never held a real nine to five type job. A Teaching Assistantship certainly qualifies as real work, but it is more rewarding and more fun than slinging burgers in the local fast food joint. Maybe I have been coddled in life, but nothing in my life points to this other than one thing. Eye Disease. I was diagnosed with Keratoconus at age 17. This was a vision threatening disease that required the wearing of hard contact lenses. Luckily Duke University was close by, and with their expertise I was able to be fitted for PMA hard contact lenses. I wore these for almost fifteen years. They saved my vision and my life. Usually about twenty years into the progression of the disease it decides to get worse necessitating cornea transplants, of which I had in both eyes. I was saved again! Uncle Sam stepped up to the plate and took a swing for Mr. Reichle. I believe because I was unlike other blind candidates because I was pursuing a doctoral degree, I made a good candidate for financial aid. Who better to help than someone with the lofty goal of teaching college? Both the state of North Carolina and Ohio were good to me, and because I was in school and not actively making money they paid for my surgeries. Unfortunately ten years later I must not look as appealing to the Vocational Rehabilitation Commission for the Blind. Whether I “timed out” or whether their requirements for aid became more stringent I do not know. Unfortunately what I do know is my failing eyesight is what has kept me from completing that dream of becoming a college teacher. There comes a time in life where you need to begin making money. With encroaching financial debt I decided to put my academic career on hold to dig myself out of the hole. Luckily I mostly have been successful in that goal. As a result my credit report is about as high as you can get. I was evicted from a bogus apartment complex and turned over to a collection agency. I settled that dispute with the help of Legal Aid, a free service for impoverished Americans. I paid off more than a few credit cards in full and even bought a Honda motorcycle. Over time and with determination, and with less than stable vision I have been successful. I have been working as a professional in the field of music and have been using most of the skills I learned in college at all levels. Many it seems like to address cruise ship work as a paid vacation. While I must admit traveling in the Caribbean or Mexican Riviera is better than living in Fayettenam,’ doing the job of “orchestra piano” has been the single most difficult thing I have ever accomplished. I have had moderate success in the field of music moving from a state of local popularity to one of respected academic. I have always loved and enjoyed music. It is what I am meant to do. Along the way I have found obstacle after obstacles that seem like they don’t want me to succeed financially. Whether it is competition from other musicians, the sheer need to hang on to “paying” gigs that pay bills, or simple personal insecurity eventually in a particular area I have always met with what seems like a brick wall. As you mature the thought of promoting yourself becomes less appealing. As most Christians know we ourselves don’t mean much in the scope of things. I take much more pleasure in understanding and learning about new things. Yes I still take pride in my musical offerings, but my priority is to keep my attention off myself. I have had a rather epic journey of ups and downs, and as human nature predicates it is easy to remember only the bad things. When you don’t focus on yourself like a Christian should, you are not reminded of your failures. You forget these shortcomings and rather focus on the possibility of the myriad of successes that may come. It is the only way. The drawback to this philosophy is it is not a Capitalist philosophy. Capitalism by nature demands you literally stand on a soap box and shout at the top of your lungs how great your product is. Everyday. Day in and day out. It is Capitalism with a capital “T.” Instinctively I have always known I would never fit into this mold. Subconsciously I knew from high school this fragile and easily politically-manipulated system would never bear fruit for me in particular. I don’t know why. Maybe it is because I didn’t have what it took to “hawk your wares” so vehemently. I have witnessed others do this well and instinctively, and those are the people that make it in Capitalism. I will go as far to say that failing vision is the single reason I have not found my place in nine to five America. Simply put the shortcomings in the environment, in educational levels, and in the quality of life in general in America are enough not to provide me with what I feel I have earned in the educational system. I may not be suitable as a Chief Executive Officer, but I think nine years of college with three at the doctoral level afford me a better life than teaching in the public schools in Fayetteville, North Carolina. I also realistically know that with a bum eye I don’t physically have what it takes to corral and teach the kinds of young people I see around here. Most of the nation has been made aware of the state of education in the United States by a phenomenon known as “Urban Flight.” Middle class citizens began to move away from the inner cities and to suburbs, because the quality of life was better including public education. There was a slate of Hollywood movies and television shows that depicted this often brutal predicament. Michelle Pfieffer played a tough school teacher in the movie Dangerous Minds in l995 bringing to the entertainment industry a complex and vital issue in the American public education system. Likewise in “187” Samuel L. Jackson played Trevor Garfield, an inner city teacher who had been victimized by the system. “187” was released in l997. Because there has been so little political emphasis placed on the public schools, chances are things are similar. I could never really know without actually visiting schools and observing in the classroom. With the security measures in place to thwart violence, that doesn’t seem like a realistic prospect. When I graduated from college in l985, beginning teacher’s salary was $18,000.00 a year. With the prospect of violence and bodily harm in one’s workplace, the field of teaching does not seem very enticing. I interviewed for a public school teaching job on the outskirts of Columbus, Ohio. For some reason the interview process almost seemed like a joke. The school must have been in dire straights if they called me up from the hundreds of applications on file. I had not been actively seeking a job with their school system. In graduate school you can take a course on “How to Interview.” I never took this course, and I probably should have. I still had enough common sense to know when I was being asked a ridiculous question. “Will you be willing to come after school and coach the drill team? Will you be willing to come after school and supervise the majorettes? Will you be willing to come after school and direct the stage band?” Of course you would do that, because as a band director there are student activities that fall outside the normal daytime schedule. As for volunteering for responsibilities outside your field of teaching and with a full workload, who could be expected to do that? Evidently it was a prerequisite for this particular job, and that is probably the reason why they didn’t have anybody. Cruise ships jobs are similar in that the positions that are available are usually the ones with the worst working environments. The first thing I learned from a Bachelor of Music Education degree was the “land of opportunity” in the America is full of politics and nepotism. Case closed. It’s who you know that gets you the job. Fayetteville is looking for teachers. Have I changed my mind about trading my quality of life for a life filled with intimidation, violence, juvenile delinquency, and low wages? I am still putting my trust in Uncle Sam to help me out again.