Brazilian Anarchy

As opposed to being thought of as a chronic complainer, I would rather be thought of as an adult American, who has lived long enough to look back past Generation X and see the shortcomings of the Millennial Generation.  If that makes me a chronic complainer, then I am nothing more than a modern George Carlin.  I am someone old enough to be able to remember American history rather than learn it out of a modern textbook.  That would be a disaster, because American history has been doctored from the beginning.  As I age and begin to realize what really happened in American history, I get angrier and become more malcontent.  Because I am a mature, educated, intelligent being I do not choose to commit acts of violence.  I don't protest either, although maybe I should.  My sociology professor at UNC-Chapel Hill deeply wanted his students to engage with current public issues.  As a graduating senior this was not an appealing prospect.  We simply wanted to write the paper, study, and pass the exam.  Seeking an issue in the public forum, researching it, adopting a position, and engaging with the local community to support your cause?  There was too much time involved.  Instead like other savvy UNC seniors, we preferred to find a way around it.  I wrote a paper about something which I all ready knew, hydro-electric power.  I laced it with personal opinion and submitted it as my project.  It was no surprise I passed with a C.  It was well-written, because I had written it before.  It sufficed.  Never have I had to engage with protest, civil rights, or inequality.  Although when I graduated from UNC-Chapel Hill, immediately I knew America was not fair, I continued.  That was more music study.  I missed the link that at some point one needs to work to earn a living and secure one's future.  Beginning teacher salary in North Carolina was $18,500.00.  Looking at the figure for a beginning band director, I felt extremely disappointed.  Graduating from Chapel Hill was the single most difficult thing I ever did.  On graduation day I had to look at the program to make sure my name was on it.  I had to take an extension on my woodwinds class, so I learned to play the flute by myself over the summer.  Brooks Smith gave me a C, because of the extension.  I was penalized, because I didn't have time to learn my scales during the regular semester.  I made an A in clarinet, because I could play all of my scales three octaves and did it on time.  I felt what I had learned and what I could do was worth more, so I went to grad. school.  It was not difficult to get a Graduate Teaching Assistantship with my newly obtained college degree.  It paid for my Masters degree.  During this time I was successful and lived the "jazz" life.  It was a nice time, but I am relatively sure this type of lifestyle is rare these days, especially in Fayetteville, North Carolina.  Jazz is not appreciated, and as such there is no jazz scene.  That is a big disappointment when you are living in a particular place.  What I do is not appreciated.  Perhaps that has something to do with my malcontent in America.  Perhaps in other cities life would be better for me.  Life was better in Columbia for a while.  Life became better in Columbus, Ohio after a while.  I am a capable and reliable musician.  I am passionate about my chosen craft.  The common connotation of a Phd is being an independent scholar.  An independent scholar will be productive in their chosen field of study no matter what.  Why not?  The alternatives are to get up each day and look at Trump America.  I have been reasonably successful at remaining musically productive over the last few years.  My father died on May 6, of 2016.  I am looking after my mother, and she has no one else.  She is 87 years old.  We live in the same house.  It is becoming increasingly difficult to be musically productive, because as Lenny Bernstein said a musicians soul is the world around him.  The political dynamic of the day is the pool from which we draw musical inspiration.  Even when the dynamic is violent, depressing, and immoral, musicians find a way to tell the truth.  Never have I felt the need to protest anything until now.  As an adult looking back modern day America is a pale, polluted, mockery of the once American Dream.  I have an entire list in my head why beginning with Global Warming.  The newest entry is democratic collapse in Brazil, their military's role in this event, and its implications in North America.  I live in a city which hosts the largest military installation in the United States, and yet I do not feel safe.  When I sit with the GI's and their families at restaurants, it is clear to me that we are not about whom they are concerned.  They are in the Army as a job.  Many of them have moved into my neighborhood and are raising families.  Still I am not sure they know the purpose of their service other than showing blind allegiance to their Commander and Chief.  This is their duty.  This creates an extremely unsettling scenario for me.  We have a dishonest narcissist in the White House who is setting the wrong example for America.  He is their Commander in Chief.  Many of the social programs and cultural practices which have been championed in America have been abandoned by his administration.  The American majority is not being represented by our elected officials in Washington, DC.  Most upsetting is the failure of Capitalism for the middle and lower classes and the eventual dismantling of our republic.  It is imminent.  Why?  It is imminent because the renegade spirit which grew America has been stifled by a sterile, authoritarian, militaristic rule especially in North Carolina.  We are very close to losing our democracy to a club of dough boys.  I am not sure the millennial generation understand what America truly has been is.  It is cloaked under the damp, mildewed, old tarpaulin of affluent America.  Affluent America wants America to be quiet and hand them their money.  This is not America.