Dear Editor,

      Recent statistics reveal Cumberland Country has sanctioned "Fayetteville Flight."  Our county is a no growth zone.  Why?  Several solutions are a stratagem for more peaceful living.  It entails conscientious, continual, and conservative restraint by our military industrial complex.  1.  Mr. Snoopy Dog FBI shell plane or Army Cessna must concentrate their surveillance away from neighborhoods.  2.  The Compass Call Cross Deck Tactical Weapons System must keep it in his pants.  3.  CSX-T must reel in their meandering Cargill dedicated ES44ACH.  (It's discernible low frequency alternating current "Death Ray" is a drag)  Please stop irradiating Fayetteville or at least schedule a heavy weight bout with the Army's AN/TPQ-53.  (I can't tell if its an inebriated locomotive engineer or an overzealous private with his finger on the button.)  If either one needs companionship, I suggest Match.com.  Because satellite sensor arrays, drone activity, and adolescent iPhone usage are interacting, their EMFs are twerking us like our original founding Shakers and Quakers.  Our power grid and visible light spectrum are tired of being modulated by these parasites.  "Fayetteville:  A Modulus-Free Zone."