A Short Story About the Vanstory Hobo

Like most newsworthy, spongeworthy, James Worthy events, the departure of L3 from their portal located behind the Fayetteville Harris Teeter was innocuous.  For a decade the barricaded DOD building in close proximity to L3's transmission station operated in anonymity.  An Arms Room managing and planning weapons distribution for the United States Army completed its tasks under the close surveillance of two Beechcraft King Air 350 planes making lazy circles in the sky.  Unfortunately the location of the DOD compound and its accompanying L3 communications pod bordered the Vanstory Hills neighborhood including its elementary school.  The combination of high profile spoiled brats, a local flasher, and million dollar surveillance aircraft fused to create a local legend, the "Vanstory Hobo."  He often was seen climbing trees, building shelter out of vines, and otherwise ignoring recalcitrant rich children.  His steadfast animosity infuriated the children, and they concocted an urban legend who ate human flesh, terrorized rabbits, and had sex with neighborhood canine.  The DOD became fearful of the urban legend and that with his newly found powers may penetrate the walls of the DOD building and steal information for release on Wikileaks.  After months of endless fear and trepidation, the DOD decided to move their facility to a more secure location.  L3 followed although their Gulfstream jet often can be seen flying over Fayetteville as many as four times a day.  Legend has it they still are looking for the Vanstory Hobo as their mundane jobs crunching statistics for General Mattis become tiring.  It has been heard the Vanstory Hobo recently resurfaced planting a viable vegetable garden, planting herbs, and playing classical music outside.