Sunday, July 02, 2017

Television Barf-O-Mmercials

So what does he mean by "Barf-o-mmercial?"  For television to be able to air, they need to sell soap.  Once they were called soap operas.  It was understood.  Back in the day art mimicked life.  Life in America was interesting, because people were educated by a quality public school system.  No more.  No mas.  The lines of demarcation of human existence have been skewed, and I will not take this opportunity to describe them.  Instead I will publish a list of television barf-o-mmercials which are patronizing, manipulative, mind numbing, and ignorant.   

1.  Pizza Hut-  Stand up, sit down, like clowns. 

2.  Corona Extra-  Drinking our yellow malt somehow will transport you to a beach with tits and ass.

3.  Reeses-  You eat it.

4.  Toyota-  Action heroes are fictitious 

5.  Bacardi-  Drinking our sugary rum wtill transport you to a dance party in Old San Juan.   

6.  Dairy Queen-  ?

7.  Lending Tree- Green puppets are for babies, not consumers wishing to buy a property.

8.  Kia-  Buying a car does not ensure you will enjoy summer more, really.  There will be no salesman in your backseat massaging your shoulders while you drive. 

9.  The General-  Cartoons are for babies. 

10.  Monster-  Cartoons are for babies.  

11.  Snapple-  Appleheads are for babies. 

12.  Sonic-  ?

13.  Captain Morgan-  Pirates are for Johnny Depp only.

14.  Entyvio-  Drug commercials should be for doctors and taken off the air like cigarette ads in the 70's.   

15.  Candy Crush-  Candy is for babies.  

16.  Dave and Busters-  Video games are for ?

17.  Dos XX-  This man is not very interesting.  

18.  eSurance-  Patronizing assholes.  

Any television barf-o-mmericial that uses a pseudo instructional seminar to teach (brainwash) consumers how great their product is....  should be off television.  FCC, please do your job.  

On the other hand effective and intelligent advertising, like other aesthetics, is welcome both educating and possibly persuading a person to buy.  

Progressive
Craftsmen
XOXO Trojans.