Fayettenam's Three Stooges

There are many proponents of Fayettenam, and they all live here.  Fayetteville is a landmark of old money.  You can try to believe otherwise, but this contingency in one way or another eventually will make itself known to you.  Most likely it will be by taking your money.  There are three individuals who come to mind.  I am going to attach pseudonyms to protect the innocent. (although they are not really innocent)  These three individuals are members of our local medical establishment, and with their uncanny knowledge failed to help me in any way shape or form.  Contrarily they made money from me.  It was with the experience visiting these men, that I learned what the American medical profession has become.  They prefer to treat symptoms.  There is no money in helping you improve your health.  Symptoms correlate to procedures which produce revenue.  The Useless Eunuch, The Sortopotamus, and the Gonad.  In the near future a short film will be produced which will render them with their tools of choice, the colonscope, the laproscope, and the needle biopsy gun.  None of them was interested in my description of my abdominal pain.  None of them touched my abdomen.  None of them really examined me at all except for Dr. Gonad, who delighted in fondling my penis and shoving his finger up my ass.  It didn't stay there long enough to discover anything about my prostate, because I have had previous rectal exams by more competent doctors.  He also seemed to enjoy throwing a tissue on the examination table and telling me to, "Clean yourself up."  It was humiliating and wasteful his doctor visit.  He seemed to enjoy making little scribbles on his clipboard as a way to convince me to let him perform a prostate biopsy.  I declined.  He also discounted every other things I suggested as causes for my pain.  "Interstitial Cystitis only occurs in women," he said.  I beg to differ seeing as I don't know my own bladder from my asshole.  Also he lowered his PSA guidelines conveniently to suggest a prostate biopsy was necessary.  The Sortopatamus wanted to remove a portion of my bowel.  Prior to doing this I made money for Valley Proteins.  I assumed he gets a kickback for each CT and MRI scan he prescribes.  Neither showed the cause of my abdominal pain and were unnecessary.  My colon was cancer free, but the Useless Eunuch was nervous enough to refer me to the Gonad.  It was one of the worst experiences of my life, his two visits.  These three stooges represent our medical establishment in Fayettenam.  My case is ongoing, and eventually I will end up the E.R., where they will perform enough tests to figure out my pain.  Meanwhile I no longer respect Valley Proteins and their team of radiologists, who sit upstairs in their ivory tower and won't talk to you.  Instead they will overcharge you to read your film.  It is a shite state of affairs.