The Irrefutable, Irrevocable, Irregardless, Decaprio Debacle

I know irregardless is not a word.  "The Revenant" not really is a movie.  It is a self-indulgence, and one not worth seeing.  Like "Star Wars" they have your money.  Instead see "Cold Mountain," "The Outlaw Josey Wales," or "A Man Called Horse."  In each of these films you will observe a seasoned old-school director making art on film.  In "The Revenant" you will see juvenile and inexperienced digital rendering which has no connection with humanity.  What do I mean by humanity?  Some reviews have stated "The Revenant" is alien.  It is, so why confuse humanity with aliens?  This should have been a Western.  There is a tradition in film making for Westerns, and marking your territory with extraneous, meaningless, yet potentially beautiful images did not suffice.  There is a way to tell stories, and this attempt fails.  I was confused most of the time.  Why was Dicaprio calling this aged Eskimo man son?  If you are lucky half way in you will realize this film both is camp and cheese.  If it ever is seen again it will be while you are drunk.  Like "Rocky Horror" maybe you will dress up like characters which were forgetful.  There were no spiffy costumes.  There was no clever dialog.  The sound quality was piss pour, and barely could you understand anything that was said.  A story can be told with sound, but "The Revenan"t proves a story should not be told with beautiful images alone.  Go to an art gallery, or more appropriately play a Sony Playstation video game.  That is what most movies have become today.  Beautiful images with no concept or origin in humanity are meaningless eye candy.  Without trying to philosophize how and why "The Revenant" fails, it would be prudent simply to say it is a massive directorial failure.  While some of the images could be considered beautiful, it was a B list cast (other than Dicaprio).  A slate of heavy weight supporting actors could have helped but would have exceeded their budget.  As usual the director tries to make up for the lacking pieces with digital renderings that look amateur.  With the bear attack the movie became a comedy.  The camera shots are illogical.  Alejandro Inarritu, like so many other pop culture directors who ignore their vocational tradition and lineage, adopts the ever-popular 'Gollum' perspective.   As we gaze at his images there is no rhyme or reason to where we are viewing the his action.  Like the slew of other 'Gollum' perspective films, his camera has no connection with human perspective.  Why not market it to aliens?  Mindlessly like Televisa it meanders like a drunken sailor.  The majority of the film stares up from ants.  My neck got tired as did my psyche from looking up all the time.  Why must we look up?  Why must we look up the nostrils of medicre performances?  Are we looking up at the self-proclaimed greatness of Inarritu?  Why continually must we look up through his trees?  What is there?  Nothing.  His penis trees are more interesting, and yet they mean nothing.  None of Inarritu's images mean anything.  God is insulted, as He is by the entire right wing conspiracy misrepresenting His goodness and beauty turning it into fright.  Why are those assholes on top of mountains during the winter anyway?  It is not very smart.  The entire film is not very smart.  It is dull, and it pained every sense in my body to endure it until I began to laugh.  Then I couldn't wait to get out to make fun of it.  Go watch Cold Mountain, The Outlaw Josey Wales, or A man Called Horse.  Listen to the beauty and understanding of a Jerry Fielding score.  You're time will be better spent.