The Plantation Trophy Wife

One distinct thing that characterizes life in the American South is the “trophy” wife. One reason I eventually left the South was because like business, the prospect of romance and/or marriage was being controlled by the same Old Money. After moving to Columbus, Ohio to pursue a doctoral degree in music composition, I began to meet people who actually had lived in Fayetteville, North Carolina. Whether they had been stationed at Ft. Bragg, the local army base, or lived there by happenstance they all said the same thing. “You can’t make any money in Fayettenam.” The economy moves too slowly to support new small business. Basically the economy is controlled and therefore driven by Old Money. Things have been operating the same way for a long time. The people with the money want to keep their money, so the transfusion of new blood into the economy or New Money is shunned. Not allowed? How could this be in a free market system? As I have stated earlier our market in the United States is not free. While the opportunity of “making it big” does exist as shown by past musician/entertainers, the reality of doing well for yourself is in direct opposition to the “powers at be” who all ready have the money. Money never really is free. It costs something. Money costs money. That’s why it takes money to make money. Battling the Old South was not on my itinerary. That is why actively I chose to move to the Midwest. Academia also suggests it looks good on your resume to have lived in different regions of the country. It shows your ability to shed past skins and become open to new and continual growth as a human being. Leaving the South was one of the best things I have ever done. It was difficult for the first years. In fact it took over four years to acclimate to the Midwest. Moving away to go to school is not the easiest way to chose to change your life. It is a monumental challenge, because any previous accolades you may have received are not recognized by a new contingency of people. They will not allow you to ride on your past laurels. I learned this lesson. For a while because it is all you know how to do, you carry the torch for your past interests. Slowly but surely you lose that coat and armor and develop a new life with different intellectual pursuits. I morphed from a commercial/jazz musician to an academic/orchestra composer. Not only had my geological roots changed, my chosen music changed. Wow! When coming back to the American South I almost always am disconcerted by its lack of musical growth. While sports are burgeoning in the Carolinas, the music scene is the same as it was when I was at UNC. The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill is a very traditional school. People who catch Tar Heel fever carry that disease forever. It is good a provincial university has an allegiance to tradition. It is part of their soul and mission statement. Life changes. Unless you continue to live in the same area for the rest of your life, it is probable your life will change. It becomes necessary to shed old traditions and embrace new challenges. There comes a time when the seriousness of life takes over and the pom poms have to be retired. It’s too bad the concept of the American South’s “trophy wife” couldn’t be retired as well. Like other tenacious traditions that define the American South such as racial segregation, the Ku Klux Klan, and the Mason/Dixon line, the trophy wife needs to evolve. My perception of the Southern trophy wife is a woman who is influenced by The Women’s Liberation Movement and has a with a desire to “wear the pants in the family.” In the decade of the l980’s “date rape” appeared for the first time. The drug rohypnol along with the emergence of HIV or AIDS tainted American sexuality forever. No longer did child-like beauty and naivete of “Free Love” wax philosophical. A few bad apples opened the door for what was to become the downfall of Sexual Liberation. A disease that exists that can cause death for those having sex is a serious deterent. God must have been thinking something specific when inventing AIDS, or was it satan? A disease that is transmitted by intravenous drug abuse and is proliferated mostly by gay sex should raise eyebrows. I remember the day “date rape” appeared. Now suddenly and without warning women had the power to put a sopeina on your doorstep the morning after a date alerting you that she had unwanted sex. Blyme!!! No longer did women have to be accountable for their own actions, whether influenced by the oil of alcohol or not. The term “No” changed forever. What in sociology had often meant “Yes” now meant “No” with the threat of an impending lawsuit! Confusion in the male psyche ensued. This overzealous legislation was the beginning of a string of laws passed trying to legislate morality. In the same decade the DUI became the DWI, and many bars in Chapel Hill closed. The place where there is more beer consumed per capita in the whole United States had to take notice. That one particular tradition has never been quite the same thanks to Governor Jim Hunt. Whether the law has had real effect on lives is a good question. From television commercials that are playing now, it seems teenage drunk driving is still a problem. Should a hippie selling dope to his friends have to spend the rest of his life in jail? I don’t think so, but that is on the books. There have been too many conservative and downright unconstitutional laws passed thanks to the GOP. It seems after the “date rape” laws were passed the traditions of romance were now being monitored by Big Brother. I can’t afford a trophy wife. I also can’t afford to go to jail. The federal government has hindered the traditional process of courtship, because courtship as we know it has never been polite. That is what makes it Romance. There are Romance languages, romance novels, and romantic songs. Our culture at one time revolved around romance. As such there was more breathing room in the process. Now it seems as if you must go to the mall to purchase the “Trophy Wife.” It stands to reason, because the Puritan Era values brought on by the Cold War have continued to this day. We have become homogenized, sanitized, and capitalized. I think the youth population of America has no clue what a relationship really is. The feeling of “love” as characterized by the Soft Rock music of the l980’s has disappeared. Grunge music changed that to rage, disappointment, and self-loathing. If one must go to the mall to buy a “Trophy Wife,” then why can’t I go to the street corner and buy a prostitute instead? The answer is because Uncle Sam won’t get his cut. Why can’t I go to the drugstore and buy drugs instead of relying on a dangerous criminal on the street? Is it because we as a culture are in denial to the real state of the human being. Could it be we are so out of touch with literature, history, and humanity in general we are living in a cyber-shell protected by Conservatives. “Get what you can, can it, and sit on the can.” Is this what American life really is? I thought it was the Easy Rider, Elvis Presley, Rock ‘n’ Roll, hot rods, Harleys, strip clubs, Putt Putt, waterslides, MTV, and jazz. Now we are being glamorized and polarized in a propaganda-like direction like a herd of sheep. I don’t want to hear that FM radio and Record Labels are not doing well. If one company (Time/Warner) systematically buys up the rights to all the music, then how is radio going to be able to play it anyway? I guess ASCAP will step in. If a huge Payola scandal continues to this day to oppress native recording artists for corporate produced “pop,” then they get what they have coming to them. America is not fickle, but if you destroy a traditional process that has become part of the history of millions of Americans, how can they show allegiance? Pop culture has been evolving too quickly for corporate America to keep up. They, like government, can no longer just take the money, because the money is not coming in. Both have to watch, listen, and think about what is happening in the world today and see how we can make it better.