An Open Letter about Ship Showband Piano

Having worked for Carnival for over three years and Princess for one contract, I have learned in Showband situations it is usually best to keep your mouth shut about the music. Fellow musicians do not like it when you talk about the band, the music, or the relative performances within the band. With this said I also know that if you band is going to be any good, you have to KNOW what is happening musically. Because I have almost three degrees in music it is easy for me to analyze music. I know for a fact that the written music that is presented to you on most cruise ships is not of a professional standard. You accept this because it is one of the prerequisites of the job. The way I solve this problem is by analyzing the music. Given enough time I methodically go through the written music, often times correcting it in the process. The written music to Stage to Screen, upon perusal by any professional level pianist, is almost unplayable. This music is absolutely one of the worst “part extractions” with no corrections I have ever seen. Vibeology was not much better. After getting yelled at by David Bently I got tired of the constant pressure and spent over 15 hours correcting the music, so it could be played be a live person. Sasha asked me what the problems were, and it was not difficult to show him. The most common problem is the writing of piano chords that have way too many notes and are spread all over the keyboard like mud. They, as one of my drummer room mates remarked, look like four mallet marimba music. The jumps and skips in register with virtually no time in between chords makes it impossible to play as written. When you are reading the music “on the fly” it is a complete head fuck, because often you are looking at something that does not make musical sense. I had read several places on the internet that the cruise ship show Stage to Screen was one of the lowest rated production shows on the ocean. When given this show a second time on the Serenade, I made a decision. You can either leave this show the way it is and have a bad time for four months with a burly, unplayable show, or you can fix it and try to make it better. The former was not an option. In one brief lull between five different drummers in one contract, I used the spaciousness of our cabin to fix the music. Note by note, measure by measure, I thought through the music and with a bottle of white out and a No. 1 pencil, I corrected the music until it made sense. Three years of coursework toward a DMA in Composition I think gives me the credential to make these changes. After approximately 15 hours I was done. From then on I could now practice and learn the music from a players perspective. Coincidentally I did exactly the same thing on the Sovereign of the Seas. Both Flashback and Dancin’ to the Movies were quality shows with music that was accessible to the general public. In this case unlike the written out nature of Stage to Screen, the majority of the parts were not written out. From years of experience playing in the showband, I know this is where you rely on the recorded tracks. I listen to the tracks, absorb and decide the style cognitively, and then write in the rhythmic figures that are appropriate for that style. Luckily I also have enough years of experience playing in bands (beginning in l980) that it is not much trouble to do this. As long as I have the time necessary I almost always will improve the show from the “pop-styled,” quantized, and computer-generated track. Igor, they joked on the Serenade after I got there, used to stab at the keyboard in an inhuman and unmusical way. As a result and for various other reasons I heard, Sasha fired him. Because I have been in the same situation over and over in differing Showbands, I just learned that although the tracks are quantized in a particular fashion, you should play the music naturally. That takes knowledge and experience and study of the shows. I have done this on every ship I have taken. Unfortunately the majority of the inexperienced players working ships have no idea this little conflict is happening all the time. They, as any drummer, guitar, or bass player can easily do play “pop” style. On a keyboard instrument that relies on the rebound of the keystroke, there is a finite amount of resolution that can be achieved. This is what makes piano feel unique and different. One can say in a sense piano feel, which occurs when the piano provides the comping rhythmic feel, is looser. On all three instruments I mentioned, none of the players has to wait for the key to reciprocate and thus if allowed may only learn one musical style, “pop.” This works well for the production shows, because they us this rhythmic concept. At first I wondered when I heard these mysterious tracks if the arranger even knew what they were doing. After hearing this style over and over, I finally just realized they use it because it is an easier way to play. Just turn on the click and it goes. This creates a deep and disturbing problem for any piano player, because if they attempt to play in this style where the 8th notes are too close together, it begins to look like a circus show. You have to play so far ahead of the beat and so far behind at the same time, all musicality is removed. There is no phrasing, nuance of dynamics, or feeling whatsoever. No pianist calling his instrument the Piano/Forte probably will want to make the concession. Knowing all of this previous information, learning the music cold for me is the only thing that assures I will keep my job. Ultimately on all contracts given time, this situation is going to make itself known. If you have seasoned players with much live playing experience, then they are usually open to quality musical interpretation. If you have young, insecure players they can easily tighten the rhythmic resolution up so much, it becomes difficult for the pianist to play at all. I have been in both situations where the band is willing to take the more piano feel, and where the rest of the rhythmic section declares martial law in “pop” and refuse to even entertain the thought that such a divide can exist. “You mean I would have to study the shows, analyze the styles, and then be able to play many styles at the drop of a hat?” This is way more than most Showband musicians are willing to do. I left Princess because after shedding FOUR differing production shows, all in different styles, the remainder of the rhythm section proceeded to come in and bullshit their ways through the shows. This was not good enough for me. If a particular ship does not want what I have to offer, then there is no point in my being there. This is the way I feel. Luckily at RCCL the bands and musicians seem to have wanted what I have to offer. I try not to relay this information too often, because it usually is too much for any young musician to handle. They still think music is magic and you just play what you feel at the moment. Like our last drummer on the Serenade, there should be no reason to talk about the music. The Serenade had a wealth of problems, of which I devoted myself to, because the gig can either be a nightmare or an okay experience. I fixed the written music, I avoided conflict with five different drummers who were all my room mates. I tolerated a crew that was over half homosexual. I watched new hires be humiliated in rehearsals, and I watched egos out weight performances. I did it all with a devotion to the job and the craft and the art of music. It appeared to me there was a fair amount of nepotism and politics at work on the Serenade. I ignored it all and tried to make the band better, because that is the right thing to do. I don’t necessarily want to be a career ship player, but these jobs are some of the few left in the world of professional music.