Cruise Ship Marriage

One additional event occurred while working for a particular cruise line. Our Showband was a diverse collection of personalities from various countries. Somehow in this band a theme of gay-tinged humor took over the bandstand. Because there were many gay workers on board, I guess this was explainable. How do heterosexuals respond when a close-knit community becomes overtly gay? Humor, I think, is one way to ease the tension. In a particular work environment the gay influence seemed exceedingly strong. How does one define that? Recent studies have shown gay men and women respond differently to sexual stimulus than straight men and women. It can be assumed the chemical reactions they have as a result to sexual stimulus are different. Therefore the emotional psyche of gays is different than straights. This is not a condemnation. It is merely an acknowledgment gays and straight have different feelings. If a straight person perceives feelings that are vastly different than their own, especially if they pertain to sexuality, then it would be logical to assume both parties can sense the "straight" and "gay" vibes. I made the mistake of saying, "The gay vibe seems really strong this cruise." It turns out a new musician in our band was gay but still "in the closet." Because sexuality is a personal issue, it wasn't his responsibility to express publicly he was gay, but it would have helped. He had acceptance anxiety, as I'm sure many gays do. Instead he complained to the Musical Director that he was sexually harassed from my one comment. Considering there had been a history of gay humor on our bandstand, my comment had not been intended to be antagonistic. It was just an assessment of what I was feeling at the moment. It turns out there were other issues of which I was guilty. I was a racist. After studying jazz music in college, a mostly African-American art form, and playing in a black R&B band for two years prior to working ships, I still was accused of being a racist. As a result I was transferred. It felt like I was being persecuted for being straight. It is not the first time I have felt this way. A second ship on a different cruise line reinforced a tendency for gay behavior. The first words to come out of the Cruise Director's mouth upon arrival to her new post were, "If you don't want to be here, then sign yourself off." How, as employees, were we supposed to respond to that? Her words should have been, "If you disapprove of the flamingly gay relationships in our Cruise Staff, then sign yourself off." Because cruise ships operate mostly in international waters, it seems they are not bound by the Constitution of the United States. Therefore your civil rights are not protected. They make you believe it is your social responsibility to accept gay behavior, much like the lobbying force in America at this time. After three months of successful work and enjoyment on that ship, suddenly my personality and job performance were in question. I left. It did not make my life easier, and it did not make it easier to get another job. In fact it complicated my life to an extreme degree. Not only was I out of work for months, I began to suffer health consequences from the emotional stress. All of this because I was asked to accept gay behavior without a choice. I am not a homophobe, and after years of life experience I understand in many instances why people are gay. I believe we all are entitled to a mate. If men or women in particular have not met with success in heterosexual romance, then that does not mean they are sentenced to a life alone. Everyone deserves someone. I just do not believe heterosexuals should be expected to openly acknowledge gay unions. I also feel immense displays of public affection are distasteful. "Get a room and work out your personal life first." Why do we as a community have to deal with private issues? That is what a private life is meant to do. A work environment, even on cruise ship, should be a professional environment. The recent decision of our Supreme Court does not support this contention. It seems the right of "freedom of speech" can not protect you from an antagonistic work place. It is with this decision we welcome John Roberts and Samuel Alito to the bench.